By accepting you're gay you're accepting that a conventional life will not be possible. By choosing not to tell others you cutting yourself off from real relationships. Even at work you're only half a person not able to talk about family, relationships or daily existence. Others may think, you're a bit of a sad sack or they may suspect that you are gay. By telling others you are risking rejection or worse, abuse. The fear of this can build up in your head and become a monster. However easy going we are told society is becoming, and this exaggerated, it is our interactions with those individuals we love and know that counts when we are coming out.