(on answering machine) Hi, it’s me. I’ve been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid.

ross was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


I don’t want him to tell this story for years.

monica did not speak next (ground truth)


Well, I kinda half to. I mean, because the thing is…

The thing is y'know, that you're married to Emily.

Ross, things aren't gonna be weird between us, right? I mean was that just the stupidest thing, me telling you that?

No. No. No, I'm-I'm glad you did. Look, if nothing else, it's-it's always great when someone tells you they love you.

That's what I said! Thank you for being so nice. (They hug.)

Okay, let's go!

rachel did not speak next (ground truth)


What? A brain transplant?!


She had a point. (Shows her the receipt.)

Oh my God! (Notices the boots) Oh Monica! Those boots are amazing!

Honey, I’m not returning them. Okay? I mean I-I know they cost a lot, but I’m going to wear them all the time. You’ll see. Besides, I love the compliments. I mean, have you ever had something so beautiful everyone wanted it?

chandler did not speak next (ground truth)


But if I hadn't walked in here, would you..?

Ross, this is not how we wanted you to find out about this.  You have every right to go nuts.


Uh, four, a boy, twin girls and another boy.

What else did you think about?


Um, well, I was going to, I-I-I really was. But um, then somewhere, just out of nowhere, I didn’t.

Why haven’t you told them?! Wouldn’t they be happy?!

(trying to change subjects, excitedly) So! Dinner in the kitchen around four! I’ll see you then. (Pats Chandler on the shoulder and goes into the living room.)

Why wouldn’t they be happy?

Well, um, because mainly, um, they don’t like you. I’m sorry.

Maybe because you used to be aloof, or that you’re really sarcastic, or that, y’know, you joke around all the time. Or that you take off your clothes and throw them on the couch.


And this goes for all guys?

All guys that are awake. Then we go to sleep and then all the guys from the other end of the world wake up and behave the exact same way.

(To Ross in the kitchen) All right, it's another commercial; I still haven't told her!

Joey! This is like the last commercial. You've got like (checks his watch) ten minutes left!

I know, I know! What am I going to do? (Thinks) Ooh!


Well, what’d you do?

I did it anyway.


Well, now she has no eyebrows, mission accomplished.

But Monica, he loves his job so much! Can you just give him another chance? Please?

(thinks about it) All right, but if-if he lights someone else on fire he is out of there!

That’s fair! Thank you so much. Thanks. Oops, it looks like when he got the pastry chef he got you a little bit too.


Wait, wait, Chandler, this is what you're havin' for Thanksgiving dinner? What, what, what is it with you and this holiday?

chandler was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


Yeah, but sandwich time is right now. (Removes a sandwich and starts eating.)

Joey, y'know you get any mustard on that bag, you can't return it.

Why would I return it? I love this bag!

All right, then you owe me $350.

Fine! Do you take Vasa or Mustercard? (He's holding the fake credit cards that come with the bag.)


He probably wants you back because you're right for the job.

Maybe. I-I don't know—Oh God, how could I be so stupid?!

Oh Rachel look, don't say that, I think you just need a hug from Joey. Come on. Come on. (She hugs him and Joey looks out the window.) She's back! Hot girl's back!

rachel was addressed by joey and spoke (ground truth)


Well, the end table is wrong, The couch looks bizarre and don't even get me started on the refrigerator magnets.

Okay look, don't...don't be mad okay? But after I unpacked the boxes I wanted to do something nice for you, so, I-I-I cleaned the apartment. So I moved everything around and then I forgot where it, where it went back and I'm sorry, I'm very sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

It's okay. Chandler, are you afraid of me or something?

Do you want me to be afraid of you?

Of course not. I mean gosh, Chandler what you did, it's, it's a wonderful thing and I really appreciate it. I know I have this weird thing where I want everything to be in the perfect place, but I'd never expect you to worry about that.

Oh well you're the best. You come here to me.

while he was naked?


I don’t want him to tell this story for years.

Oh, but he will. He still tells the story how Monica tried to escape from fat camp.

ross addressed monica, not chandler (ground truth)


Oh my God, wait did I—I just said Greens don’t quit didn’t I? (Pause) (Angrily) Did I just say Greens don’t quit?!

Yes! Yes! You did and you’re still yelling at me!

No! No! No! I’m not yelling at you, I’m just yelling near you. Oh God Joey, ohh I’m my father. Oh my God, this is horrible! I’ve been trying so hard not to be my mother I did not see this comin’. Oh, Joey, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I just wanted you to learn.

Yeah! Come on.


He can do more than that! He can destroy the universe!


Don't worry, there wasn't any sex in it or anything. I haven't dreamt about her like that since I found out about you two--ish.


Phoebe, it’s been two days.

Yeah, I know. Oh, good thing it’s one of those 801 numbers. Right?


I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, that’s right, that’s right, it was you!

So, anyone up for a midnight dip in the ocean?


Okay. (Joey tries to take the guitar.) Oh no-no-no, you don't touch the guitar! First you learn here, (Points to her head.) then you learn here. (Points to the guitar.)

Hey, Pheebs! Check-check this out. (Holds up his hand in one of Phoebe's chords.)


Well, thank you for lunch.

What? Wait a minute, I didn’t pay, I thought you paid!

So apparently we just don’t pay for food anymore. (Rachel laughs then Chandler notices something.) Do you see what I see?

rachel was addressed by chandler and spoke (ground truth)


But the drawer full of take-out menus is okay, right?

Ross, I'm gonna use yours, okay?

monica addressed ross, not joey (ground truth)


(announcer voice) All right! Let’s play Bamboozled!

Yeah, isn’t that a cool name?

All right. Uhh, okay. Our first contestant is Ross Geller. Why don’t you tell us a little something about you Ross?

Well uh, I-I’m a paleontologist. Umm, I-I live in New York. I have a son Ben. Uh, hi Ben! (Waves.) And uh…


(steps up and points at her) All right! You and me! Let’s go! Right now!


God. I feel violated.

Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?

(staring at a woman across the room) Ross, ten o'clock.

chandler addressed ross, not monica (ground truth)


Other wall, people! Other wall!


Yes I do! And we’re gonna go out, we’re gonna have a good time,  and take your mind off of childbirth and c-sections and-and giant baby heads stretching  out…

No. No! Yes! Ahh. Oh, would you look at that Monica? I just knocked off  all of your top scores, how sad.

Okay, I’m next. (Phoebe starts another game.) Don’t!  Don’t start another game! I said I’m next! Phoebe!

Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you over all the winning.


No, one of them...


And of course, crotchless panties.

Well appealing as that does sound to her boyfriend (pause) and her brother, (the camera pans to Ross flashing Joey a very evil look; Joey gets scared) I can’t do that we promised we’d make each other gifts this year.

joey was addressed by chandler and spoke (ground truth)


Just let her serve the beef-custard thing?

Yeah, it’ll be like a funny Thanksgiving story!


I feel terrible, I really do.

Oh, I'm sorry, did my back hurt your knife?

Rachel, (they go back inside) say that I'm friends with her, we spend some time together. Is that so terrible?

Yes. Monica, you don't get it. It's bad enough that she's stolen the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with, but now, she's actually (starting to cry), but now she's actually stealing you.

Me? What are you talking about? Nobody could steal me from you. I mean, just because I'm friends with her doesn't make me any less friends with you. I mean, (starting to cry) you're my...We're, we're...Oh, I love you.


Oh that is over!

Phoebe, are you okay?

Yeah. Yeah, I'll be alright.


(to Joey) Are you gonna be embarrassed going up there having nothing    prepared?


Ahh—oy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?

monica was addressed by joey and spoke (ground truth)


Wow! Wow! And it’s definitely all gone? There’s nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?

I don’t know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell ‘em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.

Joey! This is not like learning to ride a horse! This is like learning to…grow a turtleneck!

I kn-I know! I know! Okay? And apparently tomorrow when I go in to meet the director I have to take off my clothes so that they can see what my body looks like.

Oh my God, what are you gonna do?!


Well, how could it not be breezy, no, 'cause, you're, you're in such a breezy place.

Here, I got it. I'll will play my message for you guys, and you can tell me if it's breezy enough.

phoebe did not speak next (ground truth)


(to Lauren) In a minute!!

So this is it? Victor?

Yeah, I guess it is. (sees Kate is watching, he turns Lauren so that he can talk directly to Kate, but still look like he is talking to Lauren) Listen, I ah, I gotta say good bye, and-and I gotta say it quick ‘cause this is killing me. One thing you gotta know, is that I will never forget you. But, you’ve got things you have to do now, and so do I. And so… I’m gonna get on this spaceship, (smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and I’m gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, you’ll be long gone. But I won’t have aged at all. (gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne, baby, I’m gonna want to meet her.

lauren was addressed by joey and spoke (ground truth)


The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, they’re gonna start to think that I don’t own it. So I figured I’ll wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?

Oh yeah, I got soap and sponges and rags and Carnuba wax and polishing compound.


Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight with you Ross! Look, urrgh, maybe we should take a break.


Okay fine, I did. But I didn’t see anything, I swear.


Well uh, she didn’t want to hang out with you guys two nights in a row. I’m so sorry.

Well, why does she not want to hang out with us?!

Because she uh, she-she thinks that you are blah and that you, Monica, are too loud.

joey addressed monica, not chandler (ground truth)


Look, I just don’t think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Y’know? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Y’know? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?

How do I tell Chandler that it’s too soon. It’s gonna break his heart, he’s not gonna think that I don’t love him anymore.


You don’t need to fill these silences.


Wha-What did he say that was so funny?

I have absolutely no idea.

(to Monica and Phoebe) Oh my God, you guys, what am I doing? What am I doing? This is so un-me!

monica was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


I just wanted to say that I hope you do have sex tonight and I hope that you guys get back together, but I must warn you, the night that you announce your engagement I’m going to announce that I’m pregnant!

How is that ever going to happen?!

All right Monica, do you want to know why I was with Ross tonight?!

rachel addressed monica, not chandler (ground truth)


Yeah I did!

Joey, what-what are you doing going into my bedroom?!

Okay, look I’m sorry, I went in there to take a nap and I know I shouldn’t have, but you got porn!


So what’s really neat. If you sear the stems of the flowers first in a frying pan, your arrangement will look fresh much longer.

Oh my God, Joey, that is such a great tip.

Hey. Hey look I am still Joey, okay. Flowers they’re just, you know, they’re nice to look at. And that happens to be a picture by a famous artist. Of a famous baby.


Ross, you got that for free from the museum gift shop.

No!! Y'know-y'know don’t do me any favours. In fact, where, where’s the rest of my stuff?! Huh? Like-like my umm, (picks up a book) Hey, this book is mine!! And-and-and, and that T-shirt you sleep in? I’d like that back too. Yes, I do.

You know how much I love that T-shirt! You never even where that T-shirt!


Anyway, err... I need to borrow some money.

Oh! Sure! How much? Two thousand dollars?


Okay. Wow! So I get to see what Joey Tribbiani is like on a date. So do  you have any moves?

No! No. Umm, just myself and if they don’t like me for—(Laughs.)  I’m sorry I couldn’t even get through that.


OH MY GOD!!!


Oh, ooh, everything looks delicious. What should I ha-ave?  What should I have?


I had to read the Bible pretty carefully, but... yeah we do.


Ross, why do you hate our child?

ross was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


Oh hey! Hey Ross! Hey how’s it, how’s it going with you and  Mona? Are you guys still together?

Oh yeah, yeah we’re moving forward. You’ll be getting our card!

Yeah, we’re not just doing a card! Y’know, she-she also wants to  have the conversation about where the relationship is going.


Yes I do! And we’re gonna go out, we’re gonna have a good time,  and take your mind off of childbirth and c-sections and-and giant baby heads stretching  out…


Joey, I’m not worried about her! I’m worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this (makes the quote-marks sign) actor taking them?

Hey! I’m an (does the quote-marks thing as well) actor too! I’m not sure. I think they’re taking the ferry out to some Italian place on Staten Island.

A ferry? My baby is going on a ferry? Do you have any idea how dangerous those are?!

Are we talking about one of those big boats that carry cars that go like five miles an hour?


I don’t think so.

Can I please be there when you tell her? (Joey nods yes.)

(excitedly) Can I come?! I won’t even talk! You’ll just hear the noise from my video camera.


Hey, why don’t you guys go, get portraits done by a professional photographer.

That’s a good idea! I bet they have one of those wind machines! Y’know… (Does the whole hair blowing in the wind model type poses.)


All right, were you guys smoking something in the back of our van?


Well, everyone's gotta kiss someone. You can't kiss Ross you got the history.


And that would be?


What am I going to do? You know, and I keep, I keep trying to get rid of  these feelings, y’know? I stayed up all last night and made a list of everything I  don’t like about her. You want to hear it?

She made me switch to light Mayo. That’s it! That’s all I got! And,  you know what? It tastes the same and my pants fit better!

Joey, I just think you’re getting worked up over nothing. This is  probably just a crush.

Yeah, just a crush! That’s all this is! It’s a crush! I’m  Joey; I don’t get deep feelings.


Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life I’m doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life I’m doing something that I’m actually good at. I mean. if you don’t get that...

No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And I’m happy for ya, but I’m tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I don’t know what to do anymore.

Well neither do I!

Is this about Mark?

(shocked) Oh my God.

Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight over and over again, Ross, no, you’re, you’re, you’re making this too hard.

Oh I’m, I’m making this too hard. Okay, what do you want me to do.


So, the ebola virus. That's gotta suck, huh?

Gee, Monica, what's in the bag?

I don't know, Chandler. Let's take a look.


Well, then, you'll just have to eat the other lamps.

Uh-oh. It's Scary Scientist Man.


Not like this!


No! Not at all!


of the responsibility. I mean, this is every guy's fantasy!

Oh, yeah. That is not true. Ross, is this your fantasy?

No, of course not! (Thinks) ...Yeah, yeah, it is.


All right Ross!! I get it!!

...can't, can't a guy send a barbershop quartet to his girlfriend's office anymorrrrre!!

Oh, please, Ross it was so obvious! It was like you were marking your territory. I mean you might have well have just come in and peed all around my desk!

I would never do that!

Look, I know what's going on here, okay, Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do.


Ross I—We tried all the spicy food. It’s not working.

Okay here, have one of these peppers. Oh ha… Oh God! So…so hot! (Rubs his eyes.) Oh my—(Laughs.) By the way, you don’t want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye.

I am feeling nothing. Speaking of hot, watching you do that really makes me want to have sex with you.


Yeah, which was nice.


Wait, wait, Chandler, this is what you're havin' for Thanksgiving dinner? What, what, what is it with you and this holiday?

All right, I'm nine years old.

We just finished this magnificent Thanksgiving dinner. I have--and I remember this part vividly--a mouthful of pumpkin pie, and this is the moment my parents choose to tell me they're getting divorced.

Oh my god.


So, come on, what was the big news Pete wanted to tell you Mon?! Or should I say Mrs. Monica Becker?

He didn’t ask me to marry him.

He wanted to tell me he’s gonna compete is some ultimate fighting competition thingy.

Why?! What is it?

Yeah, but without the costumes.


to tell David!

(angry) Funniest guy she's ever met! (to the door)    I'm funny, right...? What do you know, you're a door... You just like knock-knock    jokes... (laughs about himself, but then gets determined again) Save it for    inside! (he enters)

So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they    call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica    looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma    having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from    the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch.

(Doesn't believe what she's hearing) Was your cabin    pressurised?

(laughs, but then moves to Phoebe) And don't get    me started on the way that people from Tulsa talk.

monica did not speak next (ground truth)


We're not—we're not saying anything.

Uhhhh... Joey cried last night.

ross addressed joey, not chandler (ground truth)


Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebe’s. Why were you even watching it?


Oh my God! How long has she been crying?

About a week and a half.


I don’t know, let me think. I was walking down the street thinking, ‘I’m gonna tell the father today’ and then bam!

No, you! Phoebe you freaked me out. You kept saying how huge this all is!

phoebe was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


...can't, can't a guy send a barbershop quartet to his girlfriend's office anymorrrrre!!

Oh, please, Ross it was so obvious! It was like you were marking your territory. I mean you might have well have just come in and peed all around my desk!

I would never do that!

Look, I know what's going on here, okay, Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do.


Oh hey Ross oh I'm so glad someone's here could   you zip me up?

people (shakes head, they sit) so why you all dressed   up.

oh umm Mike's picking me up for a date.

oh yea now um how is that going, is it getting serious?


No way!  I've been going to the guy for 12 years.

Oh come on!  He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite...


Ahh—oy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?

I guess I wanted to keep it (Pause) as a souvenir.

No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!


You know more than one Fun Bobby?

rachel did not speak next (ground truth)


Well, if you really wanna know, I'm—Oh! I can't tell you this.

Phoebe, it's me. You can tell me anything.

phoebe was addressed by chandler and spoke (ground truth)


Then don't touch one!!

(notices something) Ross is wearing leather pants! Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants? (Pause, no one speaks.) Someone comment on the pants!

ross was addressed by chandler and spoke (ground truth)


Eh, you got a spray-on tan?

Chandler gets pedicures!

monica addressed chandler, not ross (ground truth)


Oh Monica, we are so sorry.

You al-you already had it?

Yeah, we wanted to throw you a big surprise and a great shower, and now you don’t have either.


Because I knew you were lying!

All right, come here! (She gets up and drags Rachel off of the couch by her legs.)

(as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)


No, no, no, no, no, NO! No, no... we're not together.    We're not a couple. We're definately not a couple.

Well, you seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not    good enough for you?

We're not gonna have this conversation again...    Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this    huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about    losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey    looks around)

You know what it is? It's a nice place but I gotta see    I don't know if I see myself living here. Oh, oh, oh, let me see... (Joey sits    down on the couch, mimes opening a can and puts his hand down his pants) Yeah,    I could see it.

(Chandler looks around the place and his eye gets    caught by Richard's video collection) Look at these videos. You know, I mean,    who does he think he is? Magnum Force, Dirty Harry, Cool Hand Luke... Oh my    God!

There's a tape here with Monica's name on it.

Ooh! A tape with a girls name on it. It's probably a    sex tape... (realises) Wait a minute... This says Monica... (looks around) And    this is Richard's apartment... (realises some more)


Alright, well the rest of you get comfortable, ok, because we're gonna    be here for a li...(stops and thinks) Wait a minute, there is a window in there!

Oh no! He's not getting away that easy! (Phoebe and Joey run towards    the bathroom and enter)


(to Ross) So, er... how did it go with Celia?

Oh, I was unbelievable.

All right, Ross!

heard. I mean, there were characters, plot lines, themes, a motif... at one point there were villagers.


Because Purvry Perverson over here can’t stop staring at her.

What?! Chandler she’s our cousin!

ross addressed chandler, not monica (ground truth)


Oh that's not bad, Pheebs?

Oh, I got tired of naming states. So I decided to list the types of celery, and I have one regular celery.


Like okay I-I-I, I haven’t met any Portuguese people! I, I haven’t had the perfect kiss! And I haven’t been to sniper’s school!

Phoebe, y’know why don’t we just go upstairs and have some birthday cake?

No, I just feel like being by myself for a while. All right? I’ll see you guys later. Thanks. (Gets up and exits.)

He’s gonna eat the cake!


You'd better get back in that kitchen Monica, the garlic is not gonna overuse itself.

Ok, you have to stop playing now.

Why? The only person my playing is bothering is you!

Oh yeah? Ok, let's settle this, come on!

(while Monica drags her in the restaurant) Get your garlic-peelers off me!


For the ride.

Yeah, like in a cab...

Monica, come on now. Let's go, baby coming.

ross addressed monica, not chandler (ground truth)


This is ridiculous, he’s not gonna hold his breath… (Ross cuts him off by taking a deep breath and holding it.)

It’s possible, they have really sharp edges.

Wait a minute, I-I believe I’m entitled to use my Angel Pass for a free turn?


(entering) What's going on?


Phoebe, if this guy’s going through a divorce, is it such a good idea to start going out with him?

You don’t have to be back for a half-hour!


What if they get mixed up?

Boy I would just uh, I would freak out.


Ohh, hey! Why don’t you book a date for both of you at one of those romantic spas?

Ooh, Joey, that’s actually a really good idea!

And of course, crotchless panties.


. (Joey  enters.) I’ll call you back.

Who was that?

It’s just the pizza place.

You hung up on the pizza place? I don’t hang up on your friends.


This is your cellphone?

Yes, it reminds me of a simpler time.

Phoebe, where's your purse?

You can't have it.

Give it to me!


Okay. Head Ross! Head Ross! Head Ross!


You know where Joey is?

I don't believe this... Have you guys been...


Which is why my answer is yes!

Uh-huh! (They hug.) I'm so…happy. (She's not happy.)

(catching the ball) Monica! Stop throwing it so hard! We're on the same team!

monica was addressed by ross and spoke (ground truth)


Huh? Are, uh, any of these cultures, per chance, in the tri-state area?


You said it was okay!

You said she was bald!!

Phoebe, we can’t, we just can’t just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!


Phoebe, oh my God! Wh-wh-what are you doing here?

I need to talk to you, it’s pretty urgent. It’s about Monica and Chandler.

Oh my God! Of course, of course. (To the class.) Umm, would you please excuse me for a moment? Umm, do you know each other’s hometowns? Why don’t you… (Motions that they should learn everyone’s hometown.) (To Phoebe) Wh-what’s going on?

Well, umm, not much. But, I was just thinking that since those guys just got engaged that maybe it would be nice if they had some privacy, y’know? So, could I just move in with you for a couple days?


Of course I am. I reject anyone who's crazy enough to actually go out withme, and then I bitch about the fact that there aren't any great women out there.

Chandler, you have just described virtually every man that we have ever goneout with.

In a bad way?

Yeah. You're not gonna end up alone.

chandler did not speak next (ground truth)


And Dad, y’know that mailman that you got fired? He didn’t steal your Playboys! Ross did!

ross was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


We're late too! (Rachel screams)

And I won!


Yes! I’d love to! Have her come by the office.


Chip, is Chip Matthews.


Yeah, see... you were all worried for nothing.


Okay Ross, can I uh, can I ask you something?

I know, I know it was stupid.

Are you kidding?! With the, with the lilies, and-and the song, and the stars! It was…really wonderful! Did you just make that up?


But I didn't get to shape my belly like a bowl full of jelly.

I'm sorry, Chandler but this, this is really important to me.

Fine, I'll give the suit back.

Did your Dad ever dress up like Santa?

Then it's okay! (They kiss.)

Okay Ben, Santa has to go. Say good-bye!


Okay! Okay! Okay! You win! You win!! I can't have sex with ya!

And why not?!

Because I'm in love with Monica!!

I love you too Chandler. (They kiss.)

And hats off to Phoebe. Quite a competitor. (Pause) And might I say your breasts are still showing.


Okay, the reason why I asked you guys out to brunch today is because I have been doing some thinking about who should be my maid of honor.

Oh my God! This is it! (She and Phoebe hold hands.) (To Phoebe) I really hope it’s you!


No, everything’s fine. I just gotta go back…

No really, you tell me what’s up.

I-I forgot my underwear. (Ross lets her go.)


Yeah, they said I acted too much with it. I told everybody about this! Now everybody's gonna go to the theatre, expecting to see me, and...

Oh, Joey, you know what, no-one is gonna be able to tell.

My mom will.

Y'know, I've done nothing but crappy plays for six years. And I finally get my shot, and I blow it!


He left work in the middle of the day to do a personal errand and left you in charge when you’ve been working here two days? That’s not, that’s not right.

gunther did not speak next (ground truth)


(She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro?

What the hell are doing?!!

(running from the guy's apartment with Joey in tow) Hey, what's-what's going on?!

rachel addressed joey, not monica (ground truth)


Ross, I can’t believe you’d do that!

Okay, okay, I’ll tell ‘em it wasn’t Chandler who got high. Now who should I say it was?

You! It’s not like it’s a big deal! You-you don’t still do it or anything!


No, but Chandler, hello... Aren't you scared of dogs?

chandler was addressed by ross and spoke (ground truth)


All right, but you can’t use that again for a whole year. I’m in.

Ooh, this is so exciting! Ooh, God, what are you going to bet?

Oh, okay, well, I think we should let Phoebe decide, because she’s the only who’s impartial, and she’s so pretty.

rachel addressed phoebe, not chandler (ground truth)


All right Ross!! I get it!!

...can't, can't a guy send a barbershop quartet to his girlfriend's office anymorrrrre!!

Oh, please, Ross it was so obvious! It was like you were marking your territory. I mean you might have well have just come in and peed all around my desk!


Well, look at that, same thing.


Hey Joey, how come our stuff isn’t free?

joey was addressed by ross and spoke (ground truth)


Yeah. Maybe Michael Jordon will dive for the ball and break my jaw with    his knee.

That's so cool. I'll let Monica know.

Really? But tomorrow night is the only night I get off from the restaurant.    If you go to the game, we won't have a night together for another week.


Yeah! Oh yeah, you’ll be fine! It-it’ll be uh, just like bungy jumping. Y’know? But instead of bouncing back up you-you won’t.

What if I smack my head on the concrete?

Well, I’m gonna lie to you Joey, it’s a possibility.

(looks at the ground and at Ross) I don’t know Ross! I-I tell you what, let’s flip to see who does it, okay? You-you call it in the air, all right?

Oh, all right. (Joey flips the coin.) Tails! (The coin bounces off of the landing above them and falls to the ground.) Can you-can you see what it is?


And of course, crotchless panties.

Well appealing as that does sound to her boyfriend (pause) and her brother, (the camera pans to Ross flashing Joey a very evil look; Joey gets scared) I can’t do that we promised we’d make each other gifts this year.

You can’t make crotchless panties? You take, you take a pair of scissors and you just cut…

Yeah, I thought so to until I paper mached one of my eyes shut.


Yeah, I think it was better when you guys were sad. Hey, uh, remember the roller blades?

You know what else I’m not gonna miss? "I’m Monica. I wash the toilet 17 times a day. Even if people are on it!"

"Hi I’m Rachel, is my sweater too tight? No? Oh, I’d better wash it and shrink it!"

monica addressed rachel, not phoebe (ground truth)


God. I feel violated.

Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?

(staring at a woman across the room) Ross, ten o'clock.

Is it? Feels like two.

(sighs and gestures to explain) There's a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o'clock!


Or maybe it's because this guy's doing so good they wanna put more people on it. (Chandler pours some juice in a glass.) You should see this guy, Chandler, he goes through two bottles a day.

(slides the juice across the counter which Joey catches) What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.

I know, but, I was the best, you know? I liked being the best. (He downs the glass of juice in one swig.) I don't know. Maybe I should just get outta the game. They need guys up in housewares to serve cheese.

(pours more and slides the refill to Joey) All right, say you do that. You know sooner or later somebody's gonna come along that slices a better cheddar. And then where're you gonna run?

Yeah I guess you're right.


Okay, listen I am not a pervert!


(whispering) Why? (Monica gesticulates mumbling something that starts with "because") Seriously I did not understand a word that you said.

monica was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


Why would I eat my own arm?

Well you wouldn't, but we own the paper, we can print whatever we want.


Joey, what are you talking about? You’re a terrific actor.

You really think so?

Ugh, how can you even ask that question?!

Yeah, and oh she's really nice too. She taught me all about how to work the cameras, and smell-the-fart acting.

It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this. (Does this intense look where it looks like he's smelling a fart.)


The cameras? Remember last night I told you to take them?

Yes! Remember? Right before we cut the cake, I went up to you and I said…

Oh-oh yeah, you-you came up to me and asked if I could do you a favor, and my Uncle Murray came up to you and handed you a check. And then you said, "Why do they call it a check? Why not a Yugoslavian?" (Chandler laughs.) Yeah, then you did that.

So you don’t have the cameras?!

No. Sorry man.

So? What? What? They’re gone! Monica’s gonna freak!

Well, I’m sure they’re still somewhere here in the hotel. I’ll-I’ll help you look for them.


Well ah, Aunt Silvia was, well not a nice person.

Oh, she was a cruel, cranky, old bitch! (Ross gives her a look) (to Ross) And I’m sorry she died. Did Dad say I get the dollhouse?

You get the dollhouse.

Y'know what, you can play with my dollhouse.


Phoebe, do you think that your favorite animal says much about you?

phoebe was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


(she hurries after him) Wait, we still have time to talk and they’re-they're not even in the car yet! (She takes a quick look down the street.) Oh look, there they go, okay. (She hurries in, too)

Okay Phoebe, we should probably go back now.

(doing Clunkers) Please don't leave me, I'll be lonely.

rachel did not speak next (ground truth)


: (disbelieving) Wh-What are you talking about? It wasn't a girl. It was this huge dude.

: You don't have to lie anymore, Ross, I know that it was a fourteen year-old girl.

: No, it wasn't.

: Yes, it was.

) Oh my god, it was you! I can't believe it, you… you mugged me?

phoebe did not speak next (ground truth)


Yes it's true.

Okay, but if it only happened that one time, how come we found your underwear in our apartment the other day?

Ahh—oy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?

monica was addressed by joey and spoke (ground truth)


Ross I—We tried all the spicy food. It’s not working.

Okay here, have one of these peppers. Oh ha… Oh God! So…so hot! (Rubs his eyes.) Oh my—(Laughs.) By the way, you don’t want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye.


Now, you do realize that she’s a cartoon, and way out of your league?


Ross knows about me and Monica.

(To Chandler) I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believe this!


I cannot believe you didn’t pick me.

Uh, in her defense, she’s right. I am stronger. I would destroy you.

Oh really?! You think you’re stronger? Why don’t you prove it? (He pushes Ross who starts to fall backwards until Mona catches him.)

ross was addressed by chandler and spoke (ground truth)


Really? What do you do? You just sit in there stewing in your own filth.

How dirty do you think I am? I’m telling you, if you had some candles  and some bubbles and some music, you would love it! It would take all of your stress away.

(entering) Hey, Chandler, you got a minute? I-I really need to talk to you.

Oh! Uh, yeah! Is this a cold pizza talk or a leftover meatloaf talk?


No, no, no. I'm not in the zone.

Ross, you're mayor of the zone.

ross was addressed by joey and spoke (ground truth)


: Well, I'm not proud of it, but, you know… sometimes when I was living on the street and I needed money for food and stuff I…

) Phoebe, that is awful!

: Well, ok, I wasn't rich like you guys, ok, I didn't eat gold and have a flying pony… I had a hard life, my mother was killed by a drug dealer…

: You're mother killed herself!

: She was a drug dealer!

monica did not speak next (ground truth)


Yeah! I wrote Emma a song.

Oh, yeah! How was I supposed to know?

Joey, it's a birthday party.

Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed    for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as    a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says "El-moo"!    (Joey starts laughing) Yeah... that's a funny cup!


Wh, Ross what do you want from me? You want me, you want me to quit my job so you can feel like you have a girlfriend?

No, but it’d be nice if you realised, it’s just a job!

Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life I’m doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life I’m doing something that I’m actually good at. I mean. if you don’t get that...

No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And I’m happy for ya, but I’m tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I don’t know what to do anymore.

Well neither do I!

Is this about Mark?

(shocked) Oh my God.

Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight over and over again, Ross, no, you’re, you’re, you’re making this too hard.


...So a bird just grabbed it, and then tried to fly away with it and, and then just dropped it on the street?


What? A brain transplant?!

Well, I think it’s ridiculous that you haven’t had sex in three and a half months.

(to Monica and Rachel) It’s winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)

ross addressed monica, not joey (ground truth)


Okay. Have a benefit.

Hey! Ross, listen can you come to a charity event tonight?

Oh no, I have plans with Elizabeth.

I’m sorry, it’s just one of my last nights together before she leaves for camp—to be a counselor!


Mom and dad just sent me in here to find out if you (points to Chandler) were trying to get Ross stoned!

Okay, okay, I’ll tell ‘em it wasn’t Chandler who got high. Now who should I say it was?


Really? Which one?


Oh my God you stole her award!

No-no! No, I’m accepting it on her behalf. (He puts it up above the TV to display it.)


Hey Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?

phoebe was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


So then you know? (Phoebe nods her head)

The mailman was downstairs, so I brought up your mail.

Oh, good. Thanks.

Now what is Fabutec?

Okay, all right don’t judge me to much. Okay? Um, but I saw this info-mercial, and um, I swear to you I have never-ever bought anything on TV before, except for this mop. But there was this stuff on leg waxing, it just, it looked so amazing....

Yes! Have you seen it?

Oh, it’s incredible! I so want to be a Waxine girl.

God. Do think it really doesn’t hurt? ‘Cause how can they do that?


Oh, OH! Wow, I love those! Where did you get them?


Hey Joey, could you uh, go through these lines with me? (He’s holding a script.)

Okay uh, look I know you’re a great actor, okay? And you play all those Shakespeare guys and stuff…

But you’re spittin’ all over me man!


Phoebe, what are you doing?

I’m sorry, I’m with a client right now.


Touched. Used. Sat on. Sleep on.

I'll take it all.


Well what is wrong with me? Am I .. am I incomptent?   Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you!

Honey, you're taking this the wrong way. We think   you're going to be a wonderful parent. It's just.. you're more the fun parent.

chandler did not speak next (ground truth)


All right. Did everyone get out okay?

Well, the giraffe’s okay. And so is the pirate.

No Phoebe, don’t look! You don’t want to see what’s under there!!

phoebe was addressed by ross and spoke (ground truth)


: He just left.

) Joey! You never gonna believe it: she called.

: I don't know, but it sounds great.

: Your agent called. You got that audition.

: Oh my god, that is great! That is *** for a play on broadway… and in a real theatre, not that little one underneath the dally like last time.


Rach you did not leave the water running. Please, just pull  yourself together, okay?

Ah, did I leave the stove on?

You never cooked since 1996. (Actually Rachel cooked in 609 -  TOW Ross Got High, first aired 1999-11-25.)

Is the window open? Because if theres a window open, a bird  could fly in there.

Oh my god, you know what, yeah, I think youre right. I think   listen, listen!


So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they    call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica    looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma    having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from    the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch.

(Doesn't believe what she's hearing) Was your cabin    pressurised?

(laughs, but then moves to Phoebe) And don't get    me started on the way that people from Tulsa talk.


What? A dog? No! Rachel gets to choose.

(sarcastic) Wow, this is a tough one. I think I'm gonna have to go with the dog.


obviously, I just—I misspoke. It's okay.


(in a really, really bad Italian accent) That's-ah what I suspected-ah.


Chandler, you have to tell Joey that you're not in Tulsa.

Don't you think it's better for him to think that you're cheating    on me, than for him to think that I'm cheating on him? (Monica tips her head    slightly as if asking "Did you hear yourself?") I heard it.

I don't want him to think that I'm having an affair.

All right. I've got a plan. I'll go down the fire escape.

Yes, because all good plans start with, "I'll go down the fire escape."


Yeah I know. She ran into him at my office and they just…made out. And the craziest thing is, now my boss likes me because I told her about it and she said it was the best gossip she’d heard all year.

I am proud of all my friends today.

My God, Rachel, I can’t believe Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren. Ohh, I’m so jealous. (Chandler looks at her.)

monica addressed rachel, not chandler (ground truth)


Oh, Monica, c'mon, you do cool things.

Oh really? Okay, let's compare, shall we.

(Yawning) Oh, it's so late for 'Shall we'...

Do I go horseback riding in the park? Do I take classes at the New School?


I'll take it all.

Hey, Ross, you're okay with that?

joey addressed ross, not gunther (ground truth)


(looks like in heaven) Lighter than air... (changes    back to serious) But that's not the point. (Joey now also enters)

(looks surprised) Really...? Guys do that...? That's...    weird...

That's like a woman wanting to be a...


I don't know you guys.

All right fine, don't do anything, just sit here and talk to us, meanwhile she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts thinking 'Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.'


eliminated my department. (Phoebe gasps)

Personal shopping? What is that? Like where you walk around with snooty rich people and tell them what to buy?


Well last night, I met Monica’s.

Yeah, I had a date with this guy, and I swear to God, he is her other half.


Yeah, Chandler finds me so intimdating that it’s better if we’re on the same team.

No ah, hold on a second Joe, where do Dutch people come from?

Ah well, the ah, Pennsylvania Dutch, come from Pennsylvania.

And the other ah, Dutch people, they come on from somewhere near the Netherlands, right?

Nice try. (to Margha) See the Netherlands is this make believe place where Peter Pan and Tinker Bell come from.


Oh, I chose not to hear that.

Look what I got! Look what I got! Look what I got! (She shows Rachel what she bought. She bought a little leather jacket and a little cowboy outfit for the babies.) Can you believe they make these for little people?

rachel was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no, that's OK, I don't need them. I'm going for fours.

Alright, here we go. We've got salmon roulettes and assorted crudites.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Monica, what're you doin'? This is a poker game. You can't serve food with more than one syllable. It's gotta be like chips, or dip, or pretz...(look of realization)

joey addressed monica, not rachel (ground truth)


(To Rachel) Listen umm, yeah okay, I need to talk to you!

Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think I’m partly at fault. You see, I didn’t, I didn’t tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so y’know let’s just face it, that’s just kindling! So I think it’s better that I stay at Joey’s.

No, no-no-no. Phoebe, this was my fault and besides y’know what? I’m fine here.

Yeah she said something about crumbies.


Chasing him all around the room?

He’s totally flirting with you too.

(pause) He is, isn’t he? I don’t know, I don’t know, I mean maybe it’s just being here at the beach together or, I don’t know. But it’s like something... (she’s interrupted by the sound of Bonnie entering)

rachel addressed bonnie, not monica (ground truth)


Let's see, 1939... yeah, 24, 25?


Thanks, Gunther. (takes the plate Gunther serves him and Rachel comes up and kisses him) (to Rachel) Hey! (to Gunther) Umm, can I get a napkin too?

rachel was addressed by ross and spoke (ground truth)


Monica? What time is it?


Ross, say something. Anything.

So you two are..?

And have you .. ed?

But if I hadn't walked in here, would you..?


Uh, listen I gotta double check for tickets tonight. Who-who got what?

I need two. I’m bringing Pete. My boyfriend. I have a boyfriend now!


This is so cool!


All right, well maybe I’m enjoying it a little bit. I mean I’m getting pretty good at it.

Ooh, this is soo sweet, Joey our little twinkle-toes.

Hey-hey, hold on, this isn’t some kind of like girly dance. All right, it’s like a sport, it’s manly!


Well, I brought the next best thing.


Not for the next few minutes.

During this time…are you, are you still my best man?


(taking a bite) Oh my God! That is so good!

I’m full, and yet I know if I stop eating this, I’ll regret it.

Oh it’s umm, it’s tofu cake. Do you want some? (He makes a disgusted noise and heads for his room, Chandler follows him in.)

chandler was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


We think if you saw it, you'd understand. I mean you guys were there. (Points to Rachel and Phoebe) It is beautiful, isn't it?

Yeah it is.


Sure, you guys don’t have this problem, you’re made of wood. (Rachel comes out of the bathroom) Hey!

I don’t know, y’know? I feel a little umm… No, y’know what? Nevermind, I’m gonna be fine.

Oh, don’t worry about it I mean you probably were tired, you had a lot of champagne, it happens to everybody.

rachel did not speak next (ground truth)


Oh, you're no ordinary roommate are you?

Phoebe, come on can we finish this later? Cause I wanna go running before it gets dark. Oh! Why don't you come with me?!

Okay, let's go running!

Yeah and there's really cute guys there.

Let's run towards them!


I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!

And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)

Oh God Monica hi! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!

rachel addressed monica, not chandler (ground truth)


No, huh uh, no way, I'm sorry, not gonna happen.

Whoa, whoa, prom night flashback.


Okay, okay, you got it!

Ross, can you pass me the yams?

rachel addressed ross, not chandler (ground truth)


Hey! That was a practical purchase! I needed that car for transportation! Okay? I-I have a child!


Let me see that! (Grabs the invitation and reads it.) Oh man!

The only superpower you have is a slightly heightened sense of smell. (Hands him the jacket and walks away.)

(entering) Hey! Uh, Monica? Chandler? Can I talk to you guys for a second?

All right that’s it, I give up! Whatever you want you can have it! You wanna sing a song? You wanna do a dance? You want your mom stand at the Alter and scream racial slurs? I don’t care!


Great! Thanks! You’re gonna love her so much. And—Oh, she’s the smartest of all the Tribbiani children. Hey, y’know the S.A.T’s?


It wouldn't have mattered anyway, Phoebe, you and I are, are gonna live together, we're roommates; that's the deal.

Yes, but I wanted you to want to live with me, but okay, if you're having so much fun over here…


Joey that is so sweet.

joey was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


It’s all gonna be okay. They’re just so happy that I’m not suing them that they gave me one extra month paid maternity leave. So long as I understand that the money should not construed as a down payment on this or any other child I should bear.

is really going out of there way to show they’re not in the baby buying business.

Chandler, can you give us a minute?

Oh I’m sorry, you’re kicking me out of my own living room?


Ohh, get these things out of me!

Breathe! Breathe! Breathe throw the pain.


If you wanna call that a reason.

[singing to the tune of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood] Who's thebitterest man in the living room, the bitterest man in the living room? Hi, neighbor.

Ross, I thought you were over this.

Look, that has nothing to do with this, ok? She's my ex-wife. If she weremarrying a guy, none of you'd expect me to be there.


Yeah, what-what's going on?

Monica had lunch with Richard.

You're right. I'm sorry. I should've told you.

I promise you, next time I will absolutely tell you.


(entering from her room) Hey, guess what I'm doing this weekend! I'm going to this culinary fair in New Jersey.


That’s different, we were roommates! And when?!

I’m curious about the human body.

Hey, come on Phoebe, you can understand why this would be weird for me.

But I’m a professional! And I’m really good! Look, if you’re uncomfortable we can stop. Just give me a chance, okay. Please?


No-o-o! (To Monica) No? (She nods no.) No-o-o! Look Joey, here’s the thing, Monica and I have decided to live together, here. So, I’m gonna be moving out man.

monica was addressed by chandler and spoke (ground truth)


No, you're right. Well, we'll find something. Let's just get you out of that. Come on.

monica did not speak next (ground truth)


All right then. (Gets up, in an announcer’s voice) Rachel Green! Let’s play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the baby’s bath water?

Uh, put your elbow in it.

Excellent! How do you put a baby down for a nap?


Hey, where’d you get that?

I went really long.

Forty-two to twenty-one! Like the turkey, Ross is done!

It’s no surprise that your winning, ‘cause you got to pick first, so you got the better team.


Monica, Monica, look at this lamp. Is this tacky or what? We have to have this.

Rache, I think we have enough regular lamps.

What? Come on, it's not like I'm asking for this girly clock or anything,which, by the way, I also think is very cool.


Oh God, I tried everything to make myself feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but... I can't think of anything that rhymes with AARRGGHH!! (pause) Hey Monica, I really need your help getting through this...

Ok, you got it!

(after a pause) Unless... Maybe it's too crazy about this... Alright so... you know, there is no future... but that doesn't mean we still can't have fun. You know what? Forget what I said.

Really? If that's what you want...

phoebe did not speak next (ground truth)


I did it anyway.

Phoebe! Come on! Let’s go! (Knocks on her door.) Come on! (Phoebe enters with guitar and not ready to go.) Why aren’t you dressed yet?!

I’m sorry, but I just wrote the best dance song for your wedding. Check this out. (Gets ready to play.)


Well Joey, I’m a headhunter. I hook up out of work Soviet scientists with rogue third-world nations. Hi Rasputin! (Waves.)

Excellent! Let’s play Bamboozled! Chandler, you’ll go first. What is the capital of Columbia?


Ohh, get these things out of me!

Breathe! Breathe! Breathe throw the pain.

I want the drugs Ross, I want the drugs! (He starts rocking back and forth, taking Ross with him.)

ross was addressed by joey and spoke (ground truth)


You're a dork.

I can't believe this.

Chandler, I said I was sorry.

this stupid day! And everything about it! I'll see you later.

Oh wait, Chandler, come here is there anything I can do? Anything?


Joey, listen. I can't do this, it doesn't make any sense. Yesterday I was a nurse, and today I'm a waitress at a cafe?

Oh, sometimes we use the same extras for different parts. It's okay.

Well, it's not okay, because I gave a very memorable performance as the nurse. And now suddenly I'm the waitress? That's gonna confuse my fans.


Look, I don't care it starts at eight, we can't be late.

Look, our table is down in front, okay, my boss is gonna be there, everyone will see if we arrive after it starts.

Has somebody been drinking my fat? (Joey and Chandler look at each other)

All right! You can have the chair.


Ross I—We tried all the spicy food. It’s not working.

Okay here, have one of these peppers. Oh ha… Oh God! So…so hot! (Rubs his eyes.) Oh my—(Laughs.) By the way, you don’t want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye.

I am feeling nothing. Speaking of hot, watching you do that really makes me want to have sex with you.


Yeah, what-what's going on?

Monica had lunch with Richard.

You're right. I'm sorry. I should've told you.


No Ross!! (stands up and moves away from him) Don’t! You can’t just kiss me and think you’re gonna make it all go away, okay? It doesn’t work that way. It doesn’t just make it better. Okay?

(moving over to stand in front of her) Okay, okay. This morning you said there was nothing so big that we couldn’t work past it together...


Joey, I thought you were gonna try to be friends first!

(To Rachel) Well look, hey, it's all your fault!

Well because you didn't give me advice! No! You gave me a pickup line! As soon as I told her I wanted to y'know, build a foundation and be friends first. I suddenly, through no fault of my own, became irresistible to her! (Pause) And her roommate!


Oh for cryin’ out loud! (He storms out.)

All right, so we should go catch our movie.


Chandler, come on nothing even happened!

chandler was addressed by joey and spoke (ground truth)


Oh, did you beat him at a board game? He turns into such a baby when he starts to lose.

Eh! Stop it!

Chandler! What are you doing here?

monica addressed chandler, not rachel (ground truth)


Yeah, I think it was better when you guys were sad. Hey, uh, remember the roller blades?


But you two were supposed to be together.

Well, I thought so too, but then she said she’d marry you.

Come on, Ross, that didn’t mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody.

Yeah that’s what she said.

So I don’t wanna be just anybody.

You know what, it’s, it’s better this way anyway. I mean I don’t know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us. It’s just much easier if we’re just friends who have a kid.


Because! Because I was sad.

chandler did not speak next (ground truth)


Joey! Come on! I don’t wanna make any mistakes, alright? This is the only dessert and if I screw it up everybody's gonna be like “Oh, remember that Thanksgiving when Rachel screwed up the trifle?”

So why don’t you just let me worry about making the trifle and you just worry about eating it, alright?


It’s not just that she’s cute, okay. It’s just that...she’s really really cute.

It doesn’t matter. You don’t dip your pen in the company ink.


When?! After the birth of our first secret child?! (To All) Ross didn’t get the annulment; we are still married.

ross was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


(as Ursula) Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work.


Emma, Ross wants you.

Well we haven't offically asked them yet, but we would   want Monica and Chandler.


There I am.

You’re gonna get pregnant.

(on tape) I screwed up so bad, I told Monica that I would stuff and send all these wedding invitations like weeks ago and I-I…

(taking Rachel’s hand) Sweetie okay. It’s okay. Everybody made it to the wedding. I’m fine.


(to Phoebe) It's like a giant hug.


Well, I'm very impressed.


And they knew about it?

(pause as she considers it) Okay, well Ross, what is this really about?

Look, this is my home and I want to be able to come and go whenever I want!

Okay, I will find someplace else to do the rest of my appointments. I just don’t know what the big deal is!

The big deal is I don’t want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzle—beer! Cold beer.


Umm, now uh… It’s a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Y’know, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so… (He goes to one knee and pulls out a ring.) Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?

phoebe was addressed by joey and spoke (ground truth)


!! I mean, look, I left a note and everything.


Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . .


Well, then, you'll just have to eat the other lamps.

Uh-oh. It's Scary Scientist Man.

Ok, Phoebe, this is it. In this briefcase I carry actual scientific facts. Abriefcase of facts, if you will. Some of these fossils are over 200 million years old.

ross addressed phoebe, not rachel (ground truth)


Ohh! No way Phoebe! I want to be Monica’s!

But why does it even matter?!

Why does it matter so much to you?!


You know, we should just go, I’m not gonna find anything here! This stuff is ridiculous!


Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?

(as Ursula) If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?

(Thinking carefully) no. No, I, I couldn't do that.

(as Ursula) Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me.


Because she is!

Joey, Chandler knows I borrowed the money.


Okay. Would you rather live in the shirt pocket of a sweaty giant, or inside his shower drain?

(seeing Ross and Bonnie inside Central Perk) Oh my God! Phoebe look, it’s Ross and that girl.

No! No! Look at that! (drags her away from the window) It’s a line of ants! They’re working as a team!


I love that movie. (Joey is using it as a pillow)


bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.


Okay. Now-now-now should I climb down your front so we’re face to face or-or should I climb down your back so we’re-we’re butt to face.

Okay, here I go.

(grunting) Oh my… How much do you weigh Ross?!

I prefer not to answer that right now, I’m still carrying a little holiday weight.

Y’know, when we talked about face to face, I don’t think we thought it all the way through.

So what do you want me to do?

Well, just shimmy down me and drop!


Why the hell didn't you tell me!


Look, honey, I have tried to make nice, it doesn’t work.

Okay, look, Ross, I realise that my Father is difficult, but that’s why you have got to be the bigger man here.


No, one of them...


And you're gonna make them all disappear.

Yeah, like you could find something as sophisticated as this.

Joey, if you wanna look good, why don't you just come down to the store? I'll help you out.

joey was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


There are snow cones! (Monica glares at him.) Snow cones! Yuck!

Y'know…go! Go! Right there! (Points)


What the hell is this?! What, did you actually thought it would make me feel better to give me stuff that I can’t use for another two months?! This sucks! All right, what’s my next present?!

Hey listen man, about the stripper…

(banging a spoon against his beer bottle) Okay, a little announcement, a little announcement. I’ve decided that my best man is, my best friend Gunther!

chandler addressed gunther, not phoebe (ground truth)


Chandler, can I just say something? I-I know you're still mad at me, I just wanna say that there were two people there that night. Okay? Two sets of lips.

Yes, well, I expect this from her. Okay? She's always been a Freudian nightmare.

Okay, well, if she always behaves like this, why don't you say something?

Because it's complicated, it's complex- Hey, you kissed my mom!

That's very funny. We done now?

No! Okay, you mean, you're not gonna talk to her, you're not gonna tell her how you feel?

That would be no. Look, just because you played tonsil tennis with my mom doesn't mean you know her. Alright? Trust me, you can't talk to her.


So where you gettin' it?

I think on my shoulder. [Ross enters]

What? What's on your shoulder?


And that would be?

I, um, can't tell you.

Joey, what's going on?

OK, you've got to promise that you'll never, ever tell Ross that I told you.


This is a girl that I really like and had too swoop in there!


You're gonna put on sweats and clean, aren't you?

It's gonna be so hot! (She kisses him.)

Thanks. (Joey and Chandler exit to the hall. Joey pulls out the tickets    and hands one to Chandler.) Here's your ticket.

Hey, listen. I'm never going to lie to you again, okay? And I want    you to know that nobody thinks you're stupid.


I thought you were going out with Elizabeth.

Yeah, I was but uh, she was a little busy with a water balloon fight.

Oh Ross, sometimes grown-ups have commitments they just can’t get out of!

Y’know, maybe she is too young for me. Y’know, when I was over there and she was running around with her friends, I felt like I was a baby-sitter. I finally started to see what you guys were talking about. I don’t know what to do.


You should see the treatment I get when I’m with that car! People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car! One guy gave me advice about my equity investments.


Oh that’s right, that’s what I’d sound like if I exploded.

Woo-Hoo! The curse is broken! I called everybody I know, and everyone is alive.


Ugh, Monica I don’t want to steal your stupid thunder!

Oh please! Why else would you have made out with Ross?!

All right, easy mimey, the moment has passed, it ain’t gonna happen!


Oh, I didn't know you wanted her too!

Well, I mean, sure, of course. But... you already    gave that to Monica, so...

rachel addressed monica, not phoebe (ground truth)


Oh hey Joey! What's up?

I can't decide which route to take to Vegas. Hey, you've traveled a lot right?

Yeah, I've been around.

Okay, so-so which route should I take the northern route or the southern route?

Ooh, if you take the northern route there's a man in Illinois with a beard of bees. {Okay, I must protest this, I've lived in Illinois all my life and know of no man with a beard of bees! Wisconsin, on the other hand, might be a different story.}

Great! Problem solved!

But on the southern route there's a chicken that plays tic-tac-toe.

Well, back to square one.


Aw, my little nephew. Come here, little one. There's my little baby Ben. Hey, my little boy. Hey, he's not crying.

Yes! There's still pie.

I'm here. How's my little boy? Want Daddy to change your diaper? So, did you have fun with Uncle Joey and Uncle Chandler today?

Oh, yeah, he rode the bus today.

Ohhh. Big boy, riding the bus--Hey, I have a question. How come it says Property of Human Services on his butt?


Too many jokes... must mock Joey!

Nice shoes, huh? (He wiggles his foot and the bells tinkle)


Ohh, get these things out of me!

Breathe! Breathe! Breathe throw the pain.

I want the drugs Ross, I want the drugs! (He starts rocking back and forth, taking Ross with him.)

I do too! I do too!


And on your anniversary, for shame!

What's going on?

Chandler was hitting on the hot delivery girl!

chandler was addressed by ross and spoke (ground truth)


Phoebe, listen. You were with me, and we were shopping all day.

Oh, all right. What did I have?


man! (Monica heads out) Okay Ross, time is up!

ross was addressed by chandler and spoke (ground truth)


The young hot ball and chain.


What? Are you serious?! (To Chandler) Joey smells gas!

Yeah and we’d go check it out, but you took away our keys.

Well do something! Get in there!

How? I guess I could break down your door.

Yeah! Do that!


Chandler, come on, you're gonna find somebody.

How do you know that? How?


And they knew about it?


What? Wait-wait a minute, what? Phoebe, what's the matter?

phoebe was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


Well this is just sad!

All right, all right. Maybe I can fit them in if I just do some rearranging. But uh, Rachel may actually have to sit at the bar!

That is not a problem.

Oh, get out of here! (Jumps back and walks away.)


Yeah, listen, Joey isn't gonna be here tonight so why don't you come over and I'll let you uh, feel my bicep. Or maybe more.

They know you know.


I'm telling you, something's wrong! My brother does not stay out all night.

Maybe we should check the trash chute.

Ross couldn't fit down the trash chute.

Just, y'know out.


Course there, they just call it food.

Yeah... I guess. I don't—I don't know. Alright, just... just give her this for me, OK? (gives Chandler a gift for Rachel)


Oh Ross, honey you gotta stop torturing yourself!

Look I've already looked at like a thousand apartments this month and none of them even compares to that one!

Y'know what you should do?


(nearly weeping) I was not ready for this today!

Oh, Phoebe, I’m sorry! Phoebe has prepared something as well.

rachel addressed phoebe, not chandler (ground truth)


Where the hell are Joey and Molly? I asked you to watch them.

joey was addressed by ross and spoke (ground truth)


Um, well, I was going to, I-I-I really was. But um, then somewhere, just out of nowhere, I didn’t.

Why haven’t you told them?! Wouldn’t they be happy?!

(trying to change subjects, excitedly) So! Dinner in the kitchen around four! I’ll see you then. (Pats Chandler on the shoulder and goes into the living room.)

chandler was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


And you're gonna make them all disappear.

Yeah, like you could find something as sophisticated as this.

Joey, if you wanna look good, why don't you just come down to the store? I'll help you out.

rachel addressed joey, not chandler (ground truth)


Now, you do realize that she’s a cartoon, and way out of your league?

I know, I know, I just always wondered if I could get her eyes to pop out of her head.


Ok. (She sits on the bed and Ross sits near her) Thank you for coming with me today.


It’s my new apothecary table!


No, okay, you’re right. You’re easy-going. You’re just not as easy-going as Rachel. She’s just more flexible and-and mellow. That’s all.


He can do more than that! He can destroy the universe!

No Chandler, they can swallow one of those little parts! And also, look at his smooth area, that’s just gonna mess them up.

They’re not gonna swallow anything, you guys are being way over protective. When I was a kid, my mom used to just throw me into a pile of broken glass!

phoebe did not speak next (ground truth)


(taking Chandler aside) Hey Chandler, can I talk to you for a second?

That was you?! I thought it was Jack!


Oh, it was great! The widow wouldn't pay, so Phoebe yelled at her 'til she did.

Yeah. I'm a hard ass.

And I'm a wuss. And we should be partners.

Yeah. Hard Ass and Wuss. We could fight crime!

be partners. We should be catering partners. I mean, think about it! You're not working right now, and we have such a great time together!


Joey, (nervously) where did you learn that word?

Where do you think, (pause) Zelda?

(gasps) You found my book?!

Yeah I did!

Joey, what-what are you doing going into my bedroom?!

Okay, look I’m sorry, I went in there to take a nap and I know I shouldn’t have, but you got porn!


Oh Joey, I’m sorry I just couldn’t tell her all those things you wanted me to tell her. And y’know we got to talking and I…

No idea? Who do you think brought her here?

know what guys want!

Look Joey, come on she’s so perfect for you! I mean she’s sweet, she-she likes baseball, and she-she had two beers at lunch.

My beers?! Look you guys, she’s a very nice girl. Okay? We had a good time, but I just—I don’t see it going anywhere.

rachel did not speak next (ground truth)


Yeah, Chandler why don’t you take a walk? This doesn’t concern you.

chandler was addressed by phoebe and spoke (ground truth)


No, Beth doesn’t die, she doesn’t die. Does she Rachel?

rachel was addressed by chandler and spoke (ground truth)


Yeah but I was just screwing with you to try to get your voice all high and weird like mine is now!

Yes, but haven’t you wanted a kid like forever?

ready to have a baby. I just want Joey to be the father.

monica addressed joey, not chandler (ground truth)


What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box.

Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didn’t say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.

at you, not because I stopped loving you!

You still love me?

What does this mean? What do you, I mean do you wanna, get back together?

I just, I feel, I-I just...


Going to the hospital tonight?


[in phone] So, Spock actually hugs his father?

Hey, do you guys have...[sees Ross, pauses]...hi.

I uh, I just got back from uh, from Julie's.

No, no, uh, it's not what you think. It's um the other thing.

chandler did not speak next (ground truth)


My friend Bethel rescued him from some lab.

That is so cruel! Why? Why would a parent name their child Bethel?


Monica can I talk to you outside for a minute?

What? Who says that?

People who’ve never ever been to Paris.

monica did not speak next (ground truth)


Hey, Rachel, Can-can I see you for a sec?

rachel was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


Y'know what, he’s right. There’s something like uh, ammonia in that, that like kills the pain.

If you want some privacy you can use my hole.

Well, I’m ready to get the hell out of here! (Sees Ross and Rachel cuddling on the couch.) Oh. Are you? Are you?!! (they nod ‘Yes.’) Ohh! That’s so great!! Ooh, not for Bonnie. (they nod ‘No.’) But for you, yay! Ohh.

rachel was addressed by phoebe and spoke (ground truth)


No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know?


Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'.

Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?

monica was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


Yeah, I just got uh, got plans.

Well, John McLane had plans!


Well maybe you don’t talk about your feelings back then. Maybe you just say something about y’know all the things that he’s taught you. Like… (They all try to think about one example and don’t succeed.) Or all the things you taught him.


Phoebe, we are so proud of you! You're amazing!

phoebe was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


Well not clients, lovers. But let’s just y’know, try it again. Come back and-and we’ll work through it.

Great! Okay, if you’ll just excuse me. (To the guy) So, did you hear something you liked?

Hey Ross! Check it out! I learned a new trick!

Hey uh, I brought you some lunch.


No, but Chandler, hello... Aren't you scared of dogs?

I'm not scared. (moves towards Mike and Chappy) I'll just take little Chappy and... (he backs out) HE CAN SENSE MY FEAR. MY THROAT IS EXPOSED.


See? Now, that’s why only the little fake men are supposed to do all the kicking.


Nothing, just a little extra air in my mouth. Pffft. Pffffffft. (walks over to where Joey is seated)

Hey, Chan, can you help me out here? I promise I'll pay you back.

Oh, yeah, right, OK... inlcuding the waffles last week, you now owe me... 17 jillion dollars.


Oh, great, pretty soon they'll be back together.

By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny       Mexico. (BEAT) Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan.


Pass the cheese, please.

My God, you can’t even look at me! Can you?


Chloe, Chloe how’s it coming?!!

chloe was addressed by ross and spoke (ground truth)


first! Now let’s take a look at… (Phoebe rushes in.)

I need to talk to you, it’s pretty urgent. It’s about Monica and Chandler.


Then why did you move?!

Because I knew you were lying!

All right, come here! (She gets up and drags Rachel off of the couch by her legs.)

(as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)

I am going… I'm going--Turn it over! (Rachel rolled onto her stomach and Monica rolls her back.) I'm… I am going to get these drops in your eyes. (She is holding Rachel down with both hands and has the eyedropper in her mouth.)

Oh my God! You really are freakishly strong!


So Ross, how umm, how did it go with Bonnie?

What? Oh! I gotta tell you, I-I wasn’t expecting to like her at all, I mean I actually wasn’t expecting to like anyone right now, but she’s really terrific.


Really? You don’t think that’s a little inappropriate. (She’s wearing a tank top and has her belly sticking out.)

Good God man don’t anger it.

Ross, it is 100 degrees outside. For the first time in weeks, I am somewhat comfortable.

rachel addressed ross, not phoebe (ground truth)


, we don't think it's fair that every year the burden falls on us.


What about your massage client?


Oh yeah, and what would my opening line be? 'Excuse me. Blarrglarrghh.'

Oh, c'mon. She's a person, you can do it!

more out of my league? Ross, back me up here.

chandler addressed ross, not rachel (ground truth)


Oh really?! Then how come all your stuff is in this box?! (Monica starts chasing Rachel around the table.)

I know that, I know that you’re acting mad because you think that it’ll make it easier to leave. But deep down you’re still really sad. Deep-deep down.


You just stay here! (Dumps a jar of bath salts in the bathtub)


I'm sorry, what did you just say? Did you just say hi? Oh my God, Ross, Ross, Ben just said 'Hi'.

Great, great, and I miss that too, I miss everything.


Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?


Oh, Joey! Oh, okay, see I didn't recognize you wearing, in those....pants.

Look listen, that TV movie I went in for? Did you hear anything? I think I got a shot at it.

Yes! They called and you didn't get it! Okay, I mean you didn't get it, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

It's okay, these things happen.

But they shouldn't happen, you know what, you're, you're in a terrible, terrible business. Oh God, I don't wanna be the person who makes your face look like that.


I don’t know, she seemed to think it was such a crazy idea! Um, plus, she, uh, she got me taffy!

Taffy, really? I’ve never had any.

Well, I think my mother was too busy planning her suicide to provide saltwater treats. (Ross hands her one) Thank you! So what, you’re just never going to tell her?

ross was addressed by phoebe and spoke (ground truth)


Okay, Pheebs, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.

I can save you time ladies, I'm right here.

Yeah, Chandler why don't you take a walk? This doesn't concern you.

What? That's terrible!

No-no, we do it every year!

Oh well, that, that makes it not terrible.


I said I’ll do it!

Nobody wants to do it? All right, I’ll do it myself.

Monica! I’m not gonna screw it up!

Y’know what? You’re right, I’m sorry. Actually you were a big help tonight. Yeah, and thanks for putting my grandmother in the cab and making sure she got to the hotel safely.


What is your job?


Ohh, great! Oh hey, listen Ross, thanks for being so cool about this.

ross was addressed by joey and spoke (ground truth)


I'm sorry Monica but I knew if I told you, you'd get really, like, judgemental and you would not approve.

Of course I wouldn't approve, I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking?


Well, then, maybe it's time we all moved on.


She is so amazing! You have no idea.

No idea? Who do you think brought her here?


Did you not hear me say, "Du-ude?!"

And this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after awhile he-he goes over to her and uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what you’re thinking, Chandler’s not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls, and you’re right, Chandler’s not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with…girls.

In my defense, it was dark and he was a very pretty guy.

Oh Mon, I laughed so hard…

Ho-ho, so hard we had to throw out your underwear again?


Oh hey Joey! What's up?

I can't decide which route to take to Vegas. Hey, you've traveled a lot right?

Yeah, I've been around.

Okay, so-so which route should I take the northern route or the southern route?

Ooh, if you take the northern route there's a man in Illinois with a beard of bees. {Okay, I must protest this, I've lived in Illinois all my life and know of no man with a beard of bees! Wisconsin, on the other hand, might be a different story.}


Of course it was! Trust me, when it comes to psychology I know what I'm talking about. I took two psych classes in college.


Rach, you don't have to call whenever you have a little   question, okay? Trust me, I know this.

All right, I trust you. (Continues to dial)


Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did!

Well, if you don't know I can't help you.

Well, whatever it is I'm-I'm very, very sorry. Okay?

Okay. So we're, we're good?

All right. (Gets up.) I'll uh, I'll see you later, okay?


Ok, let's see... Oh, the cranberry sauce, it is easy to make and no-one really cares about it.

Tell me more.

Okay, I'm gonna go check on something across the hall. You start by washing these (she gives Chandler a bowl with cranberries. Then, while she's going outside, she sees him with a bottle of soap in his hands) Not with soap!! (she leaves)

You obviously haven't tasted my Palmolive potatoes!


That’s different, we were roommates! And when?!

I’m curious about the human body.

Hey, come on Phoebe, you can understand why this would be weird for me.

But I’m a professional! And I’m really good! Look, if you’re uncomfortable we can stop. Just give me a chance, okay. Please?

Okay, if it means that much to you…


(entering) Hey guys! I was at the library all morning and I already finished my five pages for today!

Great! Now, we can go to the Ranger game! (Pause) Last night!


I don’t want you to see me naked!

Rachel, I’ve seen you naked a million times. I ate hot fudge off you naked. Remember, I-I sucked that mini-marshmallow out of your belly button?

Yeah, but that was different. Y’know? I mean, we were, we were going out then, now I think it’s weird.

Rach, y'know I can see you naked any time I want.


But you two were supposed to be together.

Well, I thought so too, but then she said she’d marry you.

Come on, Ross, that didn’t mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody.

Yeah that’s what she said.

So I don’t wanna be just anybody.

You know what, it’s, it’s better this way anyway. I mean I don’t know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us. It’s just much easier if we’re just friends who have a kid.

And you’re Okay with that?

Yes. I mean, it’s what we always planned.  And if you have a plan, you should stick to it.  That’s why they call them plans.  Hello? (Pause) I’m fine.


I gave you one job! (Starts to examin the lasagne through the bottom of the glass pan.)

Oh, but look how straight those noodles are!


He's not backing down. He went to get lotion.

(entering the hall) Oh man! Aren't you guys done yet?! I wanna sit in my chair!


Ross knows about me and Monica.

(To Chandler) I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believe this!

Look, we're not just messing around! I love her. Okay, I'm in love with her.


I don’t know, but I ah, I have the feeling that my being there will do it. I’ll go over and I will borrow something. Juice!! I need juice!!

Look, they must be stopped!

I am your friend, and I am not gonna let you do this!! (Ross is now dragging Chandler and the foosball table to the door) You are surprisingly strong!

I need juice! People need juice!!

Listen to me!! (Chandler turns him around and closes and holds the door shut with his feet.)

Juice, I need...


Oh OK. [pulls over her shirt and shows a bare shoulder] Oh no, oh it's gone, that's so weird, I don't know how-where it went.


But you live here! (Ross rolls his eyes.) You know that.

I bet if I talk to Carol and Susan I can convince them to move to London with Ben.


He's planning your birthday party.


Oh, Chandler, that's sweet. But you don't have to do everything Doctor Phil tells you to do.

I'm serious, let me do something, just not the turkey or the stuffing, nothing "high profile".

Ok, let's see... Oh, the cranberry sauce, it is easy to make and no-one really cares about it.

Tell me more.

Okay, I'm gonna go check on something across the hall. You start by washing these (she gives Chandler a bowl with cranberries. Then, while she's going outside, she sees him with a bottle of soap in his hands) Not with soap!! (she leaves)


Ok, we all laughed when you did it with the stuffing, but that's not funny anymore.

Hey, Monica, I got a question. I don't see any tater tots.

That's not a question.

But my mom always makes them. It's like a tradition. You get a little piece of turkey on your fork, a little cranberry sauce, and a tot! It's bad enough I can't be with my family because of my disease.


Yep! You got the tickets?


Okay. Would you rather live in the shirt pocket of a sweaty giant, or inside his shower drain?

(seeing Ross and Bonnie inside Central Perk) Oh my God! Phoebe look, it’s Ross and that girl.

phoebe was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


Oh! Got ‘em right here, (Pats his coat pocket) check!

It’s all London, baby! Here we go. (He takes a picture of a less than enthused Chandler and starts towards the girls’ apartment.)

chandler was addressed by joey and spoke (ground truth)


Oh, you're not gonna tell the whole story about how your parents got divorced again are you?

Oh God, no.

Oh, come on! I wanna hear it! It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without Chandler bumming us out!

joey addressed chandler, not rachel (ground truth)


Okay. Just give us a second. Ross! (They walk away from the desk.)

I really think they’re out of rooms.

They’re not!! Ross, they’re just saving them for the important people!! Okay?! What-what if I was the president?!


Oh that's not bad, Pheebs?


What? You know about the plate thing?

Oh, yeah. Joey doesn’t share food. I mean, just last week we were having breakfast and he had a couple of grapes on his plate and ...

rachel addressed joey, not phoebe (ground truth)


But it absolutely didn’t. (Yelling towards the bathroom) It didn’t!! It didn’t!!

(approaching) Ross, hey, the band’s ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so…

(sarcastic) Oh! Oh-oh, the band’s ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what the band says—I don’t care about the stupid band!!

You spit on me man! (Wipes his face.)


Oh no, no. I can't choose between you two! I love you both so much!

Just not enough to put us in the original wedding party.

rachel did not speak next (ground truth)


All right. Uhh, international.


(To Joey) Hey, you wanna get something to eat or uh, do you wanna see how long we can throw this ball back and forth? Huh?

Uhh, the ball thing.

Hey Ross, wouldn't it be great if we could go two straight hours without dropping it?!

it would! Let's do it!

I have to pee. And Rachel's in the bathroom!


Yeah, I'm kinda wishing everyone wasn't here right now.

Honey! Do you know that none of that stuff came from me?! I mean I never said I wanted to have babies and get married right now!


No, you both are equally capable. Its just.. you're   strongest when.. when you're together.


Okay, so anyway I’m sittin’ in my office and guess who walks in.


(threatening Joey with a scrunchy) Step away from the crib, I have a weapon!

It's okay, it's okay Rach, it's me. Put down the scrunchy.


I'm sorry, who's this?

Phoebe, there's a dog sitting on my couch!


Really? What do you do? You just sit in there stewing in your own filth.


Oh, I would love some. But y'know what? Y'know what? Let's not drink it here. I'm feeling kinda crazy. You wanna go to Newark?

Uh, okay, yeah, we could do that, but before we head off to the murder capital of the North-East, I was, uh, kinda wanting to run something by you. Y'know how we were, uh, y'know, talking before about, uh, relationships and stuff? (Uncorks the wine) Well-

Oh God, Ross, I cannot do this.

Okay, quick and painful. (Starts to cork the wine)


(entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing it’s Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know you’re pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.


He shot a bird!

Oh that is over!

Phoebe, are you okay?

rachel addressed phoebe, not chandler (ground truth)


Well, I'm very impressed.


Yeah, I gotta go! I got an acting job. (Turns towards the door, pauses, and turns back.) Like you’d believe that. This sucks!


Sure, what do you want to see?

I don't know, umm…

Oh, I know how we can decide. Phoebe, show him your game!

joey addressed phoebe, not ross (ground truth)


Dinner is at four, we'll never gonna make it back.

So we'll leave before it's over, we'll be back in time.


That is the most ridiculous...

You sold me out.


...and these come in the shapes of your favourite Christmas characters, Santa, Rudolph, and Baby Jesus.


I'd wanna rip his tiny little head off. Fortunately, I'm past it.


Well, I mean, sure, of course. But... you already    gave that to Monica, so...

You know, I would give her up, for you.


No one got me an engagement present.

Okay, here I wish you health and happiness. (She hands Monica a cookie in a plastic baggie.)

(To Chandler) This is what happens when you don’t register for gifts!

See no-no, I made a batch and I froze it, and this is the only one left.

monica did not speak next (ground truth)


Phoebe, do you want to go see a movie after dinner tonight?

Oh we can't, we already have plans.

What are you doing?

Well, same thing we did all day, hang out at Gary's apartment. He is so amazing, we never left the bedroom. But have fun at the movie.


Joey? What's going on?

I know! It's stuck!!!


Honey I swear it we just kissed.

It was just a kiss. (Phoebe enters and overhears this.)

You guys kissed!!!!! What does this mean?!! Are you, are you getting back together?! Can I sing at your wedding?


Hi, welcome home. [pulls Rachel inside] I need to borrow a hundred bucks.

rachel was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


...Ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven. See,


Okay great, hold on a sec! (She runs to her room and returns carrying a huge bag of laundry.) Oh, here you go! You don't mind do ya? That would really help me out a lot! Thanks!


All right, look, here’s the bottom line Ross, this is fixable, if we act fast, okay. So, I’ll invite him to brunch tomorrow and you can make nice.

Look, honey, I have tried to make nice, it doesn’t work.

Okay, look, Ross, I realise that my Father is difficult, but that’s why you have got to be the bigger man here.

Look sweetie, I could be the bigger man, I could be the biggest man, I could be a big, huge, giant man, and it still wouldn’t make any difference, except that I could pick your Father up and say ‘Like me! Like me tiny doctor!’

Okay, well can’t you just try it one more time Ross? For me? For me?


Touched. Used. Sat on. Sleep on.

I'll take it all.

Hey, Ross, you're okay with that?

joey addressed ross, not gunther (ground truth)


Oh my God! You’re getting a massage! You never let me massage you!!

Phoebe, I can explain!

You told me you hate massages!


Okay, Chandler, you go first.

Okay, I thought of the joke two months ago at lunch with Steve.

Oh, wait, is he the guy I met at Christmas?

Can I finish my story?!

Do you want me to pick you?!

chandler did not speak next (ground truth)


man! (Monica heads out) Okay Ross, time is up!

No, just give me another minute.


What are you up too?

Oh, just hanging out, talkin’ about uh, websites. (Joey laughs.) Yeah, we saw this really interesting website about marriage and how totally unnecessary it is and how its just a way for the government to keep tabs on you.

chandler addressed joey, not monica (ground truth)


) Alright, nothing is worth this. Uhm, I have a confession to make… uhm, okay, you know, that girl that mugged you when you were a kid…

: (disbelieving) Wh-What are you talking about? It wasn't a girl. It was this huge dude.

: You don't have to lie anymore, Ross, I know that it was a fourteen year-old girl.

: No, it wasn't.


Hey Ross, maybe if your skin was lighter. Your teeth wouldn’t look so bright.

ross was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


Ahh, I-I did leave the gel on a little longer then it said to.


No, I mean tonight, in the building. Suddenly. Into our lives.


Phoebe, come on that's silly.

All right, so let's switch.

No, I have all of the good words. OK, fine, fine, we can switch.

Please...wait, how did you do that?

Oh, you're no ordinary roommate are you?


Oh my God, I’m so sorry.

What’s the big deal?

I just get mad when Rachel doesn’t remember where we’re going.

chandler addressed rachel, not monica (ground truth)


Oh, great, pretty soon they'll be back together.

By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny       Mexico. (BEAT) Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan.


Well then I demand a recount! (Hmm, I wonder where I’ve heard that before.)

Actually, it wasn’t that close.

No! Y’know what? No! No! You thing was so stupid anyway, this was ridiculous—We’re gonna flip a coin! (Phoebe gasps.) All right?! (She flips the coin.) Heads! (Looks at the coin and grunts in disgust.)

rachel addressed phoebe, not ross (ground truth)


Wait, wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them, Chandler.

(To Chandler) I’m out of words. Should I just say the whole thing again?

Look, I am not high maintenance. I am not. Chandler!

(pauses as he struggles with what he has to say) You’re a little high maintenance.

are on my list.


Hello? (Listens) Oh, hi Ross! (To Rachel) See? Other people call me!

Oh, I’m just over here with Ben. I thought we’d say hi.

Oh, put him on!

Ben, say hi to Aunt Monica. (He holds the phone to the fake Ben he has created out of a pumpkin.) Oh, I guess he doesn’t feel like talking right now. He’s smiling though! Okay, talk to you later.


Oh my God, I went to high school with her. (to Rachel) Rachel! Hi!

Monica! Look! Hi! What do ya think? (shows her, her ring)

Oh my God, you can’t even see where the Titanic hit it.

Yes, his name is Barry, he’s a doctor, thank you very much.

Awww, just like you always wanted. Congratulations


Oh my God, what would have done if I said yes?

Well I would've been happy because I would've be able to spend the rest of my life with the woman that I love. Or, you would've seen a Chandler shaped hole in that door. (Points at the door.)


Oh my God. He threw up?

No, he visited a little town south of throw up. (Monica laughs hysterically.) So what was Phoebe’s secret?

Oh, Nancy Thompson from Phoebe’s old massage place is getting fired.


Look, Chandler, I told you, never tell anyone about this dog thing. It's like Ross not likin’ ice cream.

Okay, it's just that dogs make me a little uncomfortable.


Wait, am I missing something though? ‘Cause I thought death was something that’s supposed to be sad, in a way.

Well ah, Aunt Silvia was, well not a nice person.

phoebe did not speak next (ground truth)


Is this because I come over here without knocking and eat your food? (Walks towards the fridge) Because I can stop doing that, (looks at the fridge) I really, really think I can!


No, 10 is the highest.

Because it’s the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel you’re up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1 You’re with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)

…it’s gonna be okay!


Yeah, but she also invited you and Ross. Yeah, honey, I’m sorry, but I don’t think that was a romantic thing.


All right, well, we felt really bad about that so we decided we should all take a little trip together!


drive the Porsche and when I ask you, you say you’re the only one who’s allowed to drive it.

Yeah, well he’s my brother! And plus he drives so slow he could never hurt it.


Ross, that is gorgeous!

Uh, Macy's, third floor, home furnishings.


Yeah, well, I only have twenty minutes until Ethan, so, y'know.. (He starts to raid the fridge.)

Ooh, do I sense a little bit of resentment?


I don’t care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Y’know what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.

That’s not totally true.

Well you-you did start that rumor about Ross making out with Mrs. Altman, our 50-year-old librarian.

monica addressed ross, not rachel (ground truth)


You must be Hilda.

Yeah, this is Tag. Tag, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, can I see you for a second? (Goes into office.)

phoebe was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


I just—I can’t believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you.

not impressed. Everybody snacks when they shop.


And on your anniversary, for shame!

What's going on?

Chandler was hitting on the hot delivery girl!

ross addressed chandler, not rachel (ground truth)


Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I don’t know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monica’s face when I give her my present, and I’m sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?

Will you get us better gifts?

Hey guys! You found the presents? Chandler, you let them find the presents? Great! Do you know how long it took me to find you that water purifier?

chandler was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


Yeah, why would it be weird? Hey, Joey, can I get some coffee?

Okay, I guess it doesn’t seem that weird.


Hey! Ready to go?

Oh yeah, let me just finish this.

Hey Ross, check this out! (he tries to spin a basketball on his fingertip but he throws it against a table) yeah, I can't do that!

joey addressed ross, not chandler (ground truth)


All right, fine... But if I enjoy this, you have only    yourself to blame... (Chandler turns his back to the TV. Joey puts the tape    in the VCR, switches it on and watches what's on the tape... It's clearly a    american football match, with the referee's whistle blowing, the crowds cheering...)

Why am I hearing cheering?

Well it's okay, its like... its just a football game.

Yeah, see... you were all worried for nothing.

It's football... It's just football... This is great!    This is the first time I've ever enjoyed football... It may be customary to    get a beer... (Chandler walks to the fridge, his back turned to the TV and a    moaning sound replaces the cheering of the crowd... Joey's eyes double in size...)    What the... (Chandler turns around, but Joey already took a sprint for Chandler,    jumps, and floors Chandler in the open space in front of the apartment door...)    What are you doing?


(to Rachel) And you… Ross, I believe, if you check Rachel’s bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.

ross was addressed by chandler and spoke (ground truth)


Really?! Oh that’s so exciting! Thank you! Thanks Mon! Oh but Mon, if you touch my guitar again I’ll have to pound on you for a little bit.


He's seeing someone. I can't believe he's seeing someone.

Monica, you don't know that.

Well, who's voice was that?


I can't believe it. Paolo kissed my mom?

Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh... (He has caught sight of Joey scowling at him) I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom.

ross addressed joey, not chandler (ground truth)


All right, look, here’s the bottom line Ross, this is fixable, if we act fast, okay. So, I’ll invite him to brunch tomorrow and you can make nice.

Look, honey, I have tried to make nice, it doesn’t work.

Okay, look, Ross, I realise that my Father is difficult, but that’s why you have got to be the bigger man here.

Look sweetie, I could be the bigger man, I could be the biggest man, I could be a big, huge, giant man, and it still wouldn’t make any difference, except that I could pick your Father up and say ‘Like me! Like me tiny doctor!’

Okay, well can’t you just try it one more time Ross? For me? For me?


(Smiling) I can't believe you guys went for that one!

Joey, why wouldn't you invite us to your parties?

You're fine, ok? But everyone else acts like an idiot around famous people!


No! No! No Ross! I’m not hot! Are you hot?

ross was addressed by joey and spoke (ground truth)


(not smiling) That's not good.

(smiling) No, smile! Not that face, smile! Everybody smile! (They all smile.)

(smiling) Joey, why don't you just tell her what happened? It's not your fault.

rachel addressed joey, not phoebe (ground truth)


Okay. Do you guys want me to play for you?

Hey Pheebs, what’s up?

You ask an intriguing question Chandler Bing.

chandler was addressed by phoebe and spoke (ground truth)


I'm not done yet, OK. God. OK, if that goes well, they may even want to make an album.

I'm done now.

Oh God. Ross, OK, if you care about me at all, you will get the pie out of the man's hood.

rachel addressed ross, not phoebe (ground truth)


(not smiling) That's not good.

rachel did not speak next (ground truth)


Here you go.

So do you want to hang out or something?


Wow! I can’t believe you lied to me.

monica did not speak next (ground truth)


Okay, Phoebe you know what you’re doing right?

phoebe was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


(pulling on a robe) Okay, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I-I-I was um, I was taking a nap.


That's so funny, 'cause I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani, man slash woman.

You know those posters for the city free clinic?

Do you know which one you're gonna be?

No, but I hear lyme disease is open, so... (crosses fingers)

Good luck, man. I hope you get it.


(excited and clapping her hands in front of her face) Goody, what is it!


Oh come on! You're making it sound worse than it actually was.

Her date tipped me ten dollars. (Monica laughs)

Phoebe, you'll catch pneumonia.

Are you serious?