Hey, Joey, I don’t think that you should leave Chandler alone. I mean it’s only been two days since he broke up with Kathy. Maybe you can go fishing next week?

Look, there’s nothing I can do for him right now, he’s still in his sweat pants, that’s still Phase One. Y'know? I’ll be back for Phase Two, I would never miss Phase Two.


Well, what did the police say?

My Thanksgiving leftover sandwich. I can't believe someone ate it!

Ross, it's just a sandwich!

the only good thing going on in my life!

chandler did not speak next (ground truth)


All right. (Gets up.) I'll uh, I'll see you later, okay?

(quietly) Bye, fat ass.


I’m fourth! (Joey is startled.) Look at you with your little maple syrup award!

Yeah may-maybe you don’t tell anyone about this.

What? No! It’s not a big deal! I do that too, with my shampoo bottle.


He called the Long Island Expressway a concrete miracle.

(imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry…(He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)

Were you guys making fun of Parker?

That depends, how much did you hear?

So, he a little enthusiastic, what’s wrong with that?

monica did not speak next (ground truth)


Mon, maybe one of these guys wants to wear your dress.


Please. Half the guys out there have makeup on.

All right, half the people. I mean, just try it and see.

No. I am not putting on makeup. (Knock at the door. Phoebe enters.)

ross addressed phoebe, not monica (ground truth)


man! (Monica heads out) Okay Ross, time is up!

No, just give me another minute.

Look Ross, if you don't know them by now, you will never know them, okay? That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself.


(running and banging on Chandler’s door) The stripper stole the ring!! The stripper stole the ring!! Chandler! Chandler, get up! Get up! The stripper stole the ring!

Ugh. Just a sec, give me a minute to wake up for this—Ah-ha-ha!! You lost the ring! You’re the worst best man ever!


(To Chandler) How could you tell her?!

I had too okay?! We’re getting married! Married couples can’t keep secrets from one another!


He had sex with Mr. Girabaldi!


All right, I’m gonna show you something a lot of guys don’t know. Rach, give me that pad, please? (She does so and Monica starts drawing on it) All right. Now…

Look, you don’t have to draw an actual wo—whoa! She’s hot!

Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. (She starts labelling them) You got one, two three, four (Chandler is shocked to find out there’s more than three), five, six, and seven!

chandler was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


(into receiver)Hello? Hey Charlie, what do you know?

Chandler is supposed to find out if he's getting an assistent job at his ad agency. But out of the 15 interns, they are only hiring three.


Gunther have you uh, have you seen Chandler?

gunther was addressed by ross and spoke (ground truth)


That ring? When my grandmother first came to this country, that ring and the clothes on her back were all she had with her.

So you might say, the ring is irreplaceable? (Gives Joey a little squeeze.)

(laughs, softly) Yeah, the stripper stole it.

Well, I think it all started when you said, "Hey Joey, why don’t you be my best man."


I’d say, come again. No-no, wait I-I-I know this one, I know this one, uh…

Okay, you just go on and make your little jokey-jokes, but if you do not know what you are doing out at sea you will die at sea. Am I getting through to you sailor?! (She punctuates each word by slapping him on the forehead.)

Don’t just say yes! This isn’t a game, Joey you can really get hurt out here. Okay, so do you want to pay attention or do you want to die?!

joey was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


That's right. You're husband's home. So, now the sex can stop.

What are you saying?

Joey said that you're in here with another man.

All right. All right. Then, maybe you won't mind if me and my friend    take a look around, huh? (He checks the bathroom shaking the bat. Then he    proceeds to their bedroom.) Bwa-ah-ah!

(emerging) Bedroom is clear, although you might need some new pillows.


What an interesting approach to guitar instruction. Y'know some might find it amusing, I myself find it regular.

Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.

phoebe addressed rachel, not chandler (ground truth)


O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn   of   events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely   normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might   get married and have children of your own.

rachel did not speak next (ground truth)


I’m checking out the restaurant with Pete.

Ohh, Monica, I am so excited for you.

monica was addressed by phoebe and spoke (ground truth)


Oh my God, Rachel! Hi!

name. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me! (They both just stare at her.) Okay, don’t believe me, I know I’m right—do you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink?

Yes, I want to change. And why-why don’t you go down and get us a table?


Okay. Thanks you guys. Pheebs are you wearing fur?


No, no, no, no, no, NO! No, no... we're not together.    We're not a couple. We're definately not a couple.

Well, you seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not    good enough for you?

We're not gonna have this conversation again...    Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this    huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about    losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey    looks around)

You know what it is? It's a nice place but I gotta see    I don't know if I see myself living here. Oh, oh, oh, let me see... (Joey sits    down on the couch, mimes opening a can and puts his hand down his pants) Yeah,    I could see it.

(Chandler looks around the place and his eye gets    caught by Richard's video collection) Look at these videos. You know, I mean,    who does he think he is? Magnum Force, Dirty Harry, Cool Hand Luke... Oh my    God!


(entering) Joey, do you have a minute?

(To Ross) Uh, Rachel's here, so good luck man, let me know how it works out. (He hangs up the phone and strands Ross in the bathroom.)

Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!

Oh well, you're timing couldn't be better. I am putting out fires all over the place.

to tell you something!

What-what is it, what is it?

Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.


She's already fluffed that pillow... Monica, you know, you've already fluffed that- (Monica glares at her.) -but, it's fine!

Look , I'm sorry, guys, I just don't wanna give them any more ammunition than they already have.


(returning) Hey you guys, Hums While He Pees just asked me out!


In the future, when a girl asks for some ill-advised sympathy sex... just do it. (she smiles fakely at him)

(half amused) Wait, wait, (looks around a little) You're mad at me about last night? I was just trying to do the right thing.


Just uh, brought back your videos.

Uh hey look uh Ross, look I think we need to talk about before.

I… I don’t know what you are talking about.


Okay, let's get some perspective people; it's not like I'm wearing a seeing-eye dog coat!


Yes. Yes I do.


(as Ursula) Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work.

Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?

phoebe was addressed by joey and spoke (ground truth)


Chandler, if that dog's been here that long, and you haven't had a reaction, maybe you're not allergic to this dog?


You're right, I'm sorry. Will you marry me?

Aw, and I was gonna ask you to marry me because I forgot to say hello to you last week.


Is that why you wanted to tie my tie?

There’s this kid in my class who said he’s in love with me.


It's, all good! Okay bye-bye Mon! (To Ross) She's-she's gonna kill me.

Yeah, the phone was facing the other way. (Chandler fixes it and a picture frame off the table.) And that goes back up there.

chandler was addressed by ross and spoke (ground truth)


Joey, do you have peanut butter on the back of your head?

(Touches the back of his head and licks his fingers) Oh man! I thought I got it all!

I was making a peanut butter smoothy, right?

And I couldn't find this little plastic thing (holds up plastic thing) that goes on top of the blender...and I thought...well... how important can that be, right...? Turns out very!

What...how is it going with Drake?


Chandler, can I just say something? I-I know you're still mad at me, I just wanna say that there were two people there that night. Okay? Two sets of lips.


Yeah. Y’know umm, uh, umm, about that, umm, Ross I really appreciate your offer to let me move in and everything, but don’t you think it’s gonna be weird?

Wh-why?! Why-why-why would it, why would it be weird?

Well, because of us! Because of our history.


I couldn’t help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesn’t and Joey punches Ross.   Gunther is amused.)

What is the matter with you?!?

You were supposed to duck!!! Why didn’t you duck?


Oh, that is so unfortunate.


are stealing her thunder. (To Monica) Which we are not!

Well, we’re still talking about it, aren’t we?

Monica-Monica-Monica-Monica, listen-listen, listen, listen, would-would it make you feel better if we all stop talking about Ross and Rachel.

Yes that would be lovely.

You got it. Okay. Now, I can pass for 19 right?!


Hey, Ross, I just wanted to apologize... (looks at laptop screen)..don't tell me you actually made those gay pictures of me?

uhu uhu, check this out. (Chandler sits down and looks at laptop screen)

Huh! So that's what I would look like if I worked out... and was being serviced by a policeman. You're not actually going to send these out are ya?

Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. (silence) Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!?


What about the time difference?


Well uh…I think I want to take Chandler.

You really want to take me?

Yeah! Yeah! I mean I’m sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but y’know Chandler always supported my career. He’s paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.

So you’re never actually going to pay me back?


I gave you one job! (Starts to examin the lasagne through the bottom of the glass pan.)

Oh, but look how straight those noodles are!


Well, we never actually got to dinner.

No, we kinda broke up instead.


We think Chandler might be having an affair.

Is it me, or have the greetings gone downhill around here?


Uh, Delaware. She's on her way though, so until she gets here, I'm gonna be your coach. But don't worry, she told me all about the la-Mazada stuff.

Yeah, that's when if you get the babies out by the end of the month, they give you 2% financing.

frank jr did not speak next (ground truth)


Oh! The yuk! Ross, he's doing it again! (Points to a lamp which is shaking behind the sofa)

Marcel, stop humping the lamp! Stop humping! Now Marcel, come back- (Marcel runs toward Rachel's room) come here, Marcel-

phoebe did not speak next (ground truth)


Oh, Chandler!! All right, this is it! (Grabs the key) You never see Joanna again!

I—never borrowed your Walkman.

Well, then I lost it. You buy me one!


I don’t have any issues with my Father.

Okay, so it’s probably just the Ross thing then.

So Rachel called. Wants to see me. Going over in a minute.


Well, I'm crazy about her now. I think this could be the real thing. Capital 'R'! Capital 'T'! (Joey stares at him) Don't worry, those are the right letters.

Look, what do you want me to say?

I want you to say that you like her!


Oh thanks, but listen, I was just at Monica’s and she and Chandler had a big fight and they’re not moving in.

Well, why don’t you tell her to stop being silly! (Monica mocks him and he joins in.)


Yeah, we got a lot to do! We gotta think about the flowers, the caterers, the music…

Oh wait Chandler, too many cooks…

chandler was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


No! Phoebe, it’s not Gunther.

phoebe was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


So it’s okay to date a student.

Well, not really. I mean technically it’s-it’s not against the rules or anything, but it is frowned upon. Especially by that professor we ran into last night, Judgey von Holierthanthou.

Well Ross, you be careful now. You don’t want to get a reputation as y’know Professor McNailshisstudents.

Yeah. What-what should I do?


Really? What do you do? You just sit in there stewing in your own filth.

How dirty do you think I am? I’m telling you, if you had some candles  and some bubbles and some music, you would love it! It would take all of your stress away.


I want you to like her! But if that's too damned difficult for you, then the least you can do is pretend.


Okay. Head Ross! Head Ross! Head Ross!

Right! Right! I just—I want you to know that I’m going to be there through this whole thing, okay? Okay? The doctor’s appointments, the uh, the Lamaze classes, uh baby-proofing the apartment—Although we could probably worry about that ‘til after we get married.

Well yeah, I think we should get married.

What, because that’s your answer to everything?

No, because that’s the right thing to do.

Yeah, maybe if you’re in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?

No but…but still you can’t possibly do this alone.


During this time…are you, are you still my best man?

Do I still call you Ross?

ross was addressed by chandler and spoke (ground truth)


That's right. You're husband's home. So, now the sex can stop.


What are you talking about?

As a masseuse and a human, I'm begging you, never do that to anyone!


No, it can mean anything. Like uh, all of the sudden you're jealous because I've become the apartment stud.

That kinda sounds like your dream dude.

Or, it could mean that-that you saw Chandler and me together and we y'know were being close and stuff and then you just want to have that with someone too.

monica addressed chandler, not joey (ground truth)


Oh my God, ice just got in my eye!

(standing in her doorway) People are trying to sleep in here!

Monica got ice in her eye, and it hurts.

monica was addressed by chandler and spoke (ground truth)


Oh that's not bad, Pheebs?

Oh, I got tired of naming states. So I decided to list the types of celery, and I have one regular celery.

Okay, so Rachel's got 48 and Phoebe has the lead in…vegetables, Joey?

joey was addressed by chandler and spoke (ground truth)


What?! The guys against the girls? See, that’s ridiculous Monica, because I’m only down by three touchdowns.

Oh, then bring it on! Oh, unless of course your afraid you might lose to a bunch of girls.


See? Now, that’s why only the little fake men are supposed to do all the kicking.

Hello? (Listens) Oh, hi Ross! (To Rachel) See? Other people call me!

Oh, I’m just over here with Ben. I thought we’d say hi.

chandler did not speak next (ground truth)


I, um, can't tell you.

Joey, what's going on?

joey was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


Look, it's a nice gesture, it is. But it just feels like--

We're just tryin' to do a nice thing here.

Ross, you have to understand that your nice thing makes us feel this big.

rachel addressed ross, not joey (ground truth)


Ross, how long have you been planning this wedding?

I don’t know. A month?

Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. That’s what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets thrown a box of Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.

I had no idea. And that-that pillowcase thing, I thought you guys were just doing the flying nun.

Sometimes we were.


Hey, you can cancel plans with friends if there is the possibility for sex!

Phoebe he’s right, that is the rule.

I don’t accept this rule. When me make plans, I expect you to show up. Okay, I can’t just be a way to kill time ‘til you meet someone better! Y’know boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but this (Motions that their friendship) is for life!


Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight with you Ross! Look, urrgh, maybe we should take a break.

Fine, you’re right. Let’s ah, let’s take a break, (goes to the door) let’s cool off, okay, let’s get some frozen yoghurt, or something.. (opens the door)

No. A break from us.


I can't kiss anyone.


We were playing a game.

Ew, was Chandler naked? Sort of like a, like a ring toss kind of situation?

(incredulous) I don’t know what that’s like?! Up until I was 25 I thought the only response to, "I love you," was, "Oh crap!"

monica did not speak next (ground truth)


So, did he get on one knee, did he have a speech prepared,    or (in a tender way) did he cry? (the guys look at him) Yeah, big surprise,    I like proposals!

sweet, and like the   most romantic thing ever.

Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe)    Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and...    (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!

joey addressed phoebe, not ross (ground truth)


What, it's ok when Chandler does it?

You have to pick your moments.

rachel did not speak next (ground truth)


Oh Joey, Melanie called, said she's gonna be late.


I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!


(stopping him) Hey, whoa-whoa! What's she like?

Uhh, well, she's…really good in bed.

Joey, I thought you were gonna try to be friends first!

(To Rachel) Well look, hey, it's all your fault!

Well because you didn't give me advice! No! You gave me a pickup line! As soon as I told her I wanted to y'know, build a foundation and be friends first. I suddenly, through no fault of my own, became irresistible to her! (Pause) And her roommate!


(trying to change subjects, excitedly) So! Dinner in the kitchen around four! I’ll see you then. (Pats Chandler on the shoulder and goes into the living room.)

Why wouldn’t they be happy?

Well, um, because mainly, um, they don’t like you. I’m sorry.

Maybe because you used to be aloof, or that you’re really sarcastic, or that, y’know, you joke around all the time. Or that you take off your clothes and throw them on the couch.


Oh yeah. If you ah, move your hamper, you see what color the tile used to be. (Monica gasps) Yeah.

I can’t live like this! What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?


Oh, when you get over this breakup we need to go shopping.


Because she is!

Joey, Chandler knows I borrowed the money.

Mmmm hmm! For your boob job!

OK so I'm out four thousand dollars and nobody's boobs are getting any   bigger?


(To Chandler) How could you tell her?!

I had too okay?! We’re getting married! Married couples can’t keep secrets from one another!


No, we haven't seen her since this morning.

So unbelievable. She was supposed to meet me half an hour ago with Emma. (he tries to take a cookie but Monica slaps his hand)

These are for Erica!


Hey Ross, is uh, is Staten Island really an island?

(he catches the ball and pauses, staring at Joey in disbelief) Also an island.

Hey, what time is it?


So what?! That doesn’t give you the right to ditch me!


(as Ursula) Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work.

Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?

(as Ursula) If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?

(Thinking carefully) no. No, I, I couldn't do that.

(as Ursula) Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me.


Not it! Damn it!

Rachel, this is yours.

monica addressed rachel, not chandler (ground truth)


Yes, I want to change. And why-why don’t you go down and get us a table?


Oh, major shampoo explosion!

Uh, look Ross, this really isn't easy.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You were saying?

Well, yeah... Okay, look it's about me and...


Yeah, I think I have some around here somewhere. Why?

Well, it’s just that maternity clothes are so expensive.

Hey, Rach! I made a pile of your stuff over on this side of the room. If you could just…(Rachel grunts and throws her purse at it)…throw your purses at it.

rachel was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


He took my essence!

Okay, now hold on. Joey, why, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now?

Because, I'm not wearing any underwear now.

Okay, then why do you have to wear underwear tonight?


Yeah, right Monica. I'm so sorry.


What? That's not? (Realizes) Oh my God.

Even Mary Tyler Moore would've been better.

I like it. I do, I think it's a Ten. (Chandler laughs.)

ross addressed chandler, not joey (ground truth)


Thanks, Rach. Look, you guys are just terrific. Y’know? Now, how about clearing out of here so I can get some new customers. It’s all about turnover.


Hey! You guys! You’re not gonna believe this! I just got off the phone with my agent…

Oh my God! (Joey looks at her.) I’m sorry, too soon. You go.

Thank you! Well, I guess now I know who I’m taking to the awards. (Points to Rachel.)


And the big one’s for me!

Wait, we can’t do this.

I don’t wanna know what Monica got me. Y’know? I mean, look, I’m sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.


Joey, this is sick, it's disgusting, it's, it's—not really true, is it?

Well, who's to say what's true? I mean...

Oh my god, what were you thinking?

All right, look, I'm not proud of this, ok? Well, maybe I am a little.


Why don't you just be straight with her? Tell her the truth.

You're right, you're right. I should just tell her the truth.


Huh. So now, the real question is, who put those fossils there, and why?

Hey, look at this. "My Big Book of Grievances."


(entering) What's going on?

Nothing! Oh God, we're just so excited that you want to get this apartment!


, and you didn't even kiss her.

I tell people secrets. It makes them like me.


Right, I mean, come on, I'm sure that if you had a funeral or a memorial service, tons of people would come.

Ross, what're you... what're you... what are you doing? (looks at laptop screen)You're having a memorial service for yourself!?

No! That would be stupid! You're having it for me!

Ross, don't press send, don't press se... !


Whoa-whoa, Treeger made you cry?

Yes! And he said really mean things that were only partly true.


OH MY GOD!!!

Phoebe!! Phoebe!! It's okay!! It's okay!!

NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!


We think he was trying to spell out 'MONKEY.'


And that would have made the official party line. (Joey nods) Monica   and I are having a little financial trouble.

Yeah, I know.

What? What do you mean you know?

Err... I just figured it out! You know, I mean you're not working and   the economy is bad.

(to himself) That's the fastest I have ever thought!

Anyway, err... I need to borrow some money.

Oh! Sure! How much? Two thousand dollars?

Yes! Two thousand dollars exactly! How do you know that! (Joey begins   writing a cheque)


Eldad, sit down. (To Rachel) Move over! Move over now!

There you go! There you are! (Rachel stares at Monica and Chandler)

Okay! Okay! We can take a hint! (They start to leave but run into Phoebe with her guy in tow.) (To Phoebe) What are you doing here?!

Hi. (To Phoebe) Okay, you’re too late okay? Because she’s already with our guy.


Ross! Y’know what, I just got—why? Why did you do this?!

Look, if you’d had two failed marriages, you’d understand!


Well, this is the last box of your clothes. I’m just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"


Whoa! Hey! Whoa-whoa-whoa, you saw her breast?!

(To Ross) I’ll tell you about it later. Be cool.


Ok. (She sits on the bed and Ross sits near her) Thank you for coming with me today.

Oh, of course...

Rachel Green is very happy you're in her room!


(entering) Sorry I'm late, I was stuck at work. There was this big dinosaur.. thing.. anyway.

Ross, you remember Susan.

How could I forget?

(they shake hands) Hello, Susan. (To Carol) Good shake. Good shake. So, uh, we're just waiting for...?


Okay, well, we’ll call the company that sent her!


Pheebs! Pheebs! Ross wants to kiss you at midnight!

ross was addressed by joey and spoke (ground truth)


Hello to the rest.

Monica what're you doin'? You can't go shopping with her? What about Rachel?

joey addressed monica, not ross (ground truth)


Y'know what, he’s right. There’s something like uh, ammonia in that, that like kills the pain.

If you want some privacy you can use my hole.


See that’s where I think that you’re wrong. We’ve been playing these babies man for man; we should really be playing a zone defense.

What do you mean?

I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And y’know Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around… (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)

chandler addressed phoebe, not monica (ground truth)


Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!

Oh well, you're timing couldn't be better. I am putting out fires all over the place.

to tell you something!

What-what is it, what is it?

Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.


No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is wearing)

Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed?


I’m not going to let you say anything.


I don’t know, let me think. I was walking down the street thinking, ‘I’m gonna tell the father today’ and then bam!

No, you! Phoebe you freaked me out. You kept saying how huge this all is!

Well-well but it is huge.

I know, but I was just thinking about how huge this is for me. I didn’t even go to how huge this was going to be for the father.

You’re thinking about this way too much. Just tell him and get it over with. It’s like, it’s like ripping off this Band-Aid. (On her arm) Quick and painless, watch. (Rips it off.) Oh mother of…See?


Listen, Joey, I know what he did was wrong but don’t you think you could at least hear the guy out?

joey was addressed by ross and spoke (ground truth)


Okay, you guys spend waaaay too much time together. (Goes back inside and shuts the door)


No way! It’s mine!!

All that stuff you just said? I want that!

But Joey you don’t have $20,000!

joey was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


Excellent! Let’s play Bamboozled! Chandler, you’ll go first. What is the capital of Columbia?

chandler was addressed by joey and spoke (ground truth)


Pass the cheese, please.

My God, you can’t even look at me! Can you?

(jumping up) Hey! Phoebe! We can talk to Phoebe!!


Uh, if I were omnipotent for a day, I'd..

See, there's always one guy. (Mocking)


There I am.

You’re gonna get pregnant.

(on tape) I screwed up so bad, I told Monica that I would stuff and send all these wedding invitations like weeks ago and I-I…

rachel addressed monica, not phoebe (ground truth)


Oh my God! I bet that’s him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! It’s Rach… (Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachel’s hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!

(on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yes, I’m the one who found your phone.

(To Rachel) Shhh! I’m on a call! (On phone) Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 830? At-at my apartment. It’s umm, it’s umm 5 Morton Street, Apartment 14, umm and then maybe y’know after we can grab a bite to eat or whatever. (Listens) Okay, well okay I’ll see you then. (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up.)

You do know that I will be here when he comes over.

Oh? And how will you know what time to come over?


Thanks. (Joey’s still patting the burn spot) I think you got it!


All right. Did everyone get out okay?


Oh really?! Then how come all your stuff is in this box?! (Monica starts chasing Rachel around the table.)


Yeah, Monica's settin' me up.

But uh, uh, what about uh, Ross and uh. . .?

joey addressed ross, not rachel (ground truth)


Well maybe he was just nervous, y’know you can be very intimidating. And besides I’ve met your pastry chef and she can stand to be taken down a peg or two.

Well, now she has no eyebrows, mission accomplished.

But Monica, he loves his job so much! Can you just give him another chance? Please?

(thinks about it) All right, but if-if he lights someone else on fire he is out of there!

That’s fair! Thank you so much. Thanks. Oops, it looks like when he got the pastry chef he got you a little bit too.

I paid to have this done.

phoebe did not speak next (ground truth)


What a bad idea!

chandler did not speak next (ground truth)


Yes, it does bother me! And I think it would bother a lot of people. Rachel, when you were going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women?

Uhh, no, no, it bothered me when he slept with other women.


I don't know! You'll tell us on Monday!


Okay, the reason why I asked you guys out to brunch today is because I have been doing some thinking about who should be my maid of honor.

Oh my God! This is it! (She and Phoebe hold hands.) (To Phoebe) I really hope it’s you!

rachel addressed phoebe, not monica (ground truth)


of me playing rugby with him was like hilarious. So I’m gonna show her how tough I really am!

(starts laughing, Ross stares at her) I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You’re right, you are a tough guy. You’re the toughest palaeontologist I know.

Look, don’t worry about me. Okay? I’ll just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. I’ll uh, I’ll be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)


There are snow cones! (Monica glares at him.) Snow cones! Yuck!

monica was addressed by chandler and spoke (ground truth)


Guess who's back in show business.

No, no, Phoebs. You know why? Cause he's dead.

OK, I guess this is gonna seem kinda bittersweet now, but... Joey, that's who.

Yeah, my agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives!

Hey, yeah... we could all sleep together and then one of us could get amnesia.


Well y’know I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "What’s up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"

Umm uh, I’ll make some coffee and we can uh, chat.

I’d love that. I would loooove… (Carol goes to make the coffee and she sits down.) So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little...

I found him! (To Ben) Very funny, come here! (She sits down on the coffee table and Ben walks up.) That is exactly why I’ve come here to talk to you okay?

(from the kitchen) Rach, do you want some sugar in your coffee?


This is so cool!

, you must be very proud!

Chandler, she doesn't understand a word of English.

I'm sorry, I thought you were Joey's other grandmother. (She just stares at him.) I've done it again.


I'm sorry, it's the pigs. they're reluctant to get in the blankets!


It's worse. The only thing that's getting me through is knowing that I'm gonna be seeing you soon. I think I may even try to get out of here early.


Oh my God. He threw up?

No, he visited a little town south of throw up. (Monica laughs hysterically.) So what was Phoebe’s secret?

Oh, Nancy Thompson from Phoebe’s old massage place is getting fired.


Oh well, I guess Italian isn’t one of the four languages you speak.


(stopping him) Hey, whoa-whoa! What's she like?


Oh really? She said she wants to go away with you?


You just don't know how hard it is, Phoebe. There's just so   many of them. You know, two I can handle. Two's great. You just hold   one in each hand, but what do I do when the third one runs at me with   his bike helmet on. I've got no more hands to protect my area! There's   three of them, Phoebe, three!

Yeah, I know, Frank. I counted them when they were coming out   of my area.

Sometimes I think that.. Oh, no, no, no, I can't say it,   it's too horrible. No.

Oh my god, Frank, are you thinking of leaving? Because I   didn't have those triplets so you could just run out on them!

Oh, no! I would never do that. No. I just was thinking   that, you know, maybe you could take one.


I don't have travel insurance.

monica did not speak next (ground truth)


Ok, wait wait wait wait a minute wait a minute, I mean Rach, I mean if if... . If Hugsy means that much to Emma then...  well she can have him.

Oooh... you're sweet, I knew uncle Joey would step up. (Turns to face Emma in the the playpen) Look Emma, look who's baaack!

Look forget it forget it...  I can't do it.

Are you gonna...  you're going to take Hugsy away from a little child?


And I like to think I had a little something to do with it.

Well, before, with the wishbone... I didn't wish we would win the lottery, I wished you'd get the job.

(smiling, surprised) Oh yeah? (looks towards the kitchen, worried) Listen, don't tell Monica, she'll rip your heart right out.

chandler addressed monica, not joey (ground truth)


So Chandler, have you heard about Monica's secret boyfriend?

chandler was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


Do you think I'm someone else?

Ok, I may not have treated your friends well in the past, but I have grown up a lot, really. Honest, Rach?


Okay, but let's do it now though, because Chopper 5 just lost it's feed! (He grabs their bags and sprints out.)

rachel did not speak next (ground truth)


Please. Half the guys out there have makeup on.

All right, half the people. I mean, just try it and see.


No, I have a great idea for a present for her.

Oh, that’s it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea!

Chandler, that’s not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you’ve just gotten her one great present? I mean that’s just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?


Other wall, people! Other wall!


I know, I know. I went a little crazy.


Please ... if I win the lottery, you guys are not gonna leave me. Someone gave me a basket of mini-muffins last week and I couldn't get rid of you for 3 days!

Chandler, would you just tell her what she did was wrong?

(to Mon) She's right, you shouldn't have bought tickets just for us ...

Let me finish ... (to everyone else) however, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get this job so I can't afford to have principles, so screw you, the tickets are ours!! (takes tickets from Rachel)


(turning all the way around, and still not facing Chandler) Yeah, you are! (Starts dancing.) I scared you!


Yes, I want to change. And why-why don’t you go down and get us a table?

Yeah, we’ll be down in like five minutes.


Come on Ross, you’re a paleontologist, dig a little deeper.

ross was addressed by phoebe and spoke (ground truth)


Joey, Emma's right here! You promised not to bring girls home in the middle of the day anymore.

No, no, it's not a girl, it's...  a brand new Hugsy!

Oh that's so great, now Emma has two Hugsy's.

No, no, Emma has one Hugsy, the new Hugsy, huh? The other Hugsy, I don't know, I guess I'll just take it back.

Oh you know what? When I was a little girl I had a little pink pony named Cotton. Oh I loved her so much, I took her everywhere, I would braid her tail...

Make the transfer! (She does so)

Should I be concerned that a button fell off the old Hugsy and I can't find it?

Oh, no don't worry about that, I swallowed that years ago.


...can't, can't a guy send a barbershop quartet to his girlfriend's office anymorrrrre!!

Oh, please, Ross it was so obvious! It was like you were marking your territory. I mean you might have well have just come in and peed all around my desk!

ross was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


Phoebe, you said it was urgent!

Oh yeah it is! I’m going to the movies and it starts in like five minutes.

Do you realize I have a classroom full of students?

(to the students) Oh, I’m sorry. I’m so rude. Does anyone want to come to the movies?


Why aren't you guys at the movie?

Well, we were! But Ross was talking so loud on his phone they threw us out!


I can't believe this!

(terrified) Right, because it's fast. Because, it's so fast. It's fast!

Relax! It's Phoebe! Not you!

fast. Isn't it?


So you can like, bite, and pull people’s hair and stuff?


Chandler, I said I was sorry.

this stupid day! And everything about it! I'll see you later.

Oh wait, Chandler, come here is there anything I can do? Anything?

Yeah, just leave me alone for a while. (He goes into his apartment.)


Okay, but let's do it now though, because Chopper 5 just lost it's feed! (He grabs their bags and sprints out.)

Hey, so uh, y'know how there's something I wanted to talk to you about?


What are you up too?


Oh, oh Ross, oh my God, are you okay?


I think it's a great idea. Yeah, we could have a dinner party and just invite her close friends.


Ooh! No, no, no, no, he's not like a kook, no. He's just like this, this very passionate, incredibly romantic guy, that got like a tinsy bit carried away, you know. And we just get along really well, and he's so cute.


(entering, excitedly) Oh! Hi you guys, oh my God! You’ll never gonna believe happened to me today! I am sitting in my office and…


Why? The only person my playing is bothering is you!


(coming back from the bathroom) What's up? (she sees the gift    certificate in Rachel's hands) Hey, Rachel!!

Phoebe, come on, I don't wanna waste it! It would be like throwing    away a hundred bucks!

, ok? It's about... it's    about corporate greed destroying our hearts and leaving us... the hollow shells.


Okay. Thanks you guys. Pheebs are you wearing fur?

Okay, let's get some perspective people; it's not like I'm wearing a seeing-eye dog coat!

Hey, y'know Ross, I think I kinda understand why I kinda lost it today.

You do, huh?

Yeah you see umm, well, I'm an actor. Right? So I gotta keep my emotions right at the surface y'know? See what I'm saying? I gotta lot of balls in the air. (Makes like he's juggling.) Y'know what I mean? It's tough! Guys like me, y'know, you wander around, you're alone…


No. No, I gotta go home sometime.

You be okay?

Hey Mon, look what I just found on the floor. (Monica smiles.) What?

monica was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


Joey, you can’t keep this to yourself, if you know about this, you have to tell him.


Laugh all you want but uh, she actually left me a message saying she’d like to go out again.

Yeah in fact, I’m gonna go call her right now. And I’ll make sure to tell her my friend Chandler says… (He mimics the shy reaction Chandler did.)

chandler was addressed by ross and spoke (ground truth)


Okay! (To Rachel) Oh my God, thank you!!

Hurry! Monica’s gonna make you pack! She’s got jobs for everyone! Now, it’s too late for me, but save your selves! (The guys scramble for the door.)


Oh.... my God.


I—never borrowed your Walkman.

Well, then I lost it. You buy me one!

You got it! Here we go! Come on! This is great! (Rachel goes over and unlocks the handcuffs) Ahhh! (He starts rubbing his wrist)

Does it hurt?

No, I just always see guys doing this when they get handcuffs taken off them. (He runs over to where his pants are hanging) Hello sweet pants!


Sophisticated like a hooker?

I’m checking out the restaurant with Pete.


Any chance you think the couch looks good there?

…so this guy was all (Mumbles.) And I'm all, Buffay, Homicide. (Flashes the badge.) It was just so cool!


A date?! No, no Pheebs you-you must be mistaken, because I know you wouldn’t schedule a date on the same night you have plans with a friend!

Come on Joey, don’t make me feel badly about this.

No, I’m gonna!! That’s right! Yeah, you made me feel really guilty about goin’ out with that girl! Like-like-like I did something terrible to you! And now Pheebs, you’re doing the same thing!

different! This is with David! Remember David, the scientist guy? Okay, he’s very special to me.

Okay, well my girl from the other night was special. She was a scientist too!


Ah no, the other Phoebe, the one you went to go see.

Ohh, I think she knows where my Dad is.


Okay Ross, can I uh, can I ask you something?


Fine, we'll call the next one Ella.

(a little confused) Okay, um... I don't want her watching our baby.

Ross, I am trying to help her become a better person. This is a huge    breakthrough for her! She just offered to do something for another human being!!

I... I don't know..

Ross, I'm telling you, she's giving up getting her eyebrows (points    at her own to emphasize the word) shaped to do this alright? Do you understand    how important that is in our world?


Oh, I would love some. But y'know what? Y'know what? Let's not drink it here. I'm feeling kinda crazy. You wanna go to Newark?

Uh, okay, yeah, we could do that, but before we head off to the murder capital of the North-East, I was, uh, kinda wanting to run something by you. Y'know how we were, uh, y'know, talking before about, uh, relationships and stuff? (Uncorks the wine) Well-


Is that why you wanted to tie my tie?


Yeah that dog left!

(walks to Phoebe's door) Phoebe! Phoebe, open up!

phoebe was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


I don’t know, but I ah, I have the feeling that my being there will do it. I’ll go over and I will borrow something. Juice!! I need juice!!


Hey! How come the door's locked?

Just a second.


Oh wait! That can't be the one Rachel's talking about. She didn't even know that happened. So which one was it?

Umm, I-I really don't want to tell this story.


The only superpower you have is a slightly heightened sense of smell. (Hands him the jacket and walks away.)

(entering) Hey! Uh, Monica? Chandler? Can I talk to you guys for a second?

All right that’s it, I give up! Whatever you want you can have it! You wanna sing a song? You wanna do a dance? You want your mom stand at the Alter and scream racial slurs? I don’t care!

No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. They’re so happy they get to be a part of your special day.


I can't believe it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day your eatin' turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leapin' and you geese are a-layin'.


In the hospital.

No I left the diapers at the hospital! There’s some in the bag but I’ll run out and get some more.

Alright thanks, oh Ross could you stop by the coffee house and get me a muffin?

Sure what kind?

Umm let me think...What do I want, what d-o I w-a-n-t...

Please take your time, it’s an important decision. Not like, say, I know! deciding to marry someone, this is about a muffin.

Blueberry it is.

God how long do you think that’s gonna last?


But I want to.

But I insist!


Ross, it's too hard.

No, no, no... why, because it might get weird for everyone else? Who cares about them. This is about us. Look, I-I've been in love with you since, like, the ninth grade.


Rachel, I have not missed one question the whole game. I own this game! Look at my hand. (Holds up her hand.)

All right, let’s do it.


That’s not true! I wanted to wear my bathrobe and eat peanut clusters all day. I wanted to start drinking in the morning. Don’t say that I don’t have goals!

Chandler, you have to start getting over her. All right, if you play, you get some fresh air, maybe it’ll take your mind off Janice, and if you don’t play, everyone will be mad at you ‘cause the teams won’t be even. Come on.

No, no, no, you say that proudly.


Yes. Yes I do.

All right Ross you’re in the lead, would you like to take another question or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?

The wheel has not been my friend tonight Joey. Uh, I’ll take another question.


No, 10 is the highest.

Because it’s the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel you’re up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1 You’re with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)

rachel was addressed by ross and spoke (ground truth)


Oh my God, I’m so sorry.

What’s the big deal?


be a baby!

Okay! (Runs that way and hears another whistle blast.) Hey! (Heads the other way and hears another blast.) What do I do?!! (She runs in the second direction and finds that the whistling is coming from inside a rack. She moves the dresses out of the way to find Rachel curled up in a fetal position frantically blowing on the whistle.) What are you doing? (Rachel doesn’t stop.) Did you find the dress? (Rachel won’t stop so Phoebe pinches her nose shut which causes her to spit the whistle out.)

phoebe addressed rachel, not monica (ground truth)


What did I marry into?

Would you guys want to come down tomorrow and watch me tape the show?


Oh, what are you going to do, follow me down there?

Well, I’m not going to go now anyway (he goes to sit down).

(handing Joey the bill) Here you go.

Ah, Gunther, I can’t pay for this right now because I’m not working, so I’ve had to cut down on some luxuries like uh, payin’ for stuff.


Well not clients, lovers. But let’s just y’know, try it again. Come back and-and we’ll work through it.

Great! Okay, if you’ll just excuse me. (To the guy) So, did you hear something you liked?

Hey Ross! Check it out! I learned a new trick!

Hey uh, I brought you some lunch.

Ohh! That’s so sweet of you! Oh yum! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich and starts to get sick.) Did you put pickles on this?


Where is the waitress?! I’m starving!

It’s a buffet man.


What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) Emil—Whoa!! (She falls in Chandler’s room.) Okay! So that’s me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunther’s the only one that claps.)

Okay, time to take off the bra. (She glares at him.)

All right, come on, let’s go get your coat.


Oh wait, Ross, would you just stay and help me get dressed?


It wouldn't have mattered anyway, Phoebe, you and I are, are gonna live together, we're roommates; that's the deal.

phoebe was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


But I didn't get to shape my belly like a bowl full of jelly.

I'm sorry, Chandler but this, this is really important to me.

Fine, I'll give the suit back.

Did your Dad ever dress up like Santa?

Then it's okay! (They kiss.)


I don’t know, I don’t know. Urrrgh! Look, maybe we should take a break.

Okay, okay, fine, you’re right. Let’s ah, let’s take a break, (goes to the door) let’s cool off, okay, let’s get some frozen yogart, or something.. (opens the door)

No. (Ross is standing in the doorway.) A break from us.

Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (He’s frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!


Okay, I’m next. (Phoebe starts another game.) Don’t!  Don’t start another game! I said I’m next! Phoebe!


What was that bam?

Hey Joey, what would you do if someone that you slept with told you that she was pregnant?

(warily) Who called here? Did she sound blond? Huh? Did-did-did she have an accent? I gotta make a call! (Starts to leave) I shoulda never walked into that Sunglass Hut!


So you stole that tape from Richard's apartment?

Whoho ho... Listen to the judgement from the porn    star!


I know her! I bought homemade soap from her at a Dead show!

Okay, how about, for a guy, Thatcher?

Ross, why do you hate our child?

Fine, you go.


Well y’know I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "What’s up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"

Umm uh, I’ll make some coffee and we can uh, chat.

I’d love that. I would loooove… (Carol goes to make the coffee and she sits down.) So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little...

I found him! (To Ben) Very funny, come here! (She sits down on the coffee table and Ben walks up.) That is exactly why I’ve come here to talk to you okay?

(from the kitchen) Rach, do you want some sugar in your coffee?

Yes oh—(To Ben)—Do I want sugar in my coffee? (Ben nods no.) No, just some milk would be good Carol. Thanks. (To Ben) Okay, do you remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?

Seriously, your dad doesn’t like pranks.

No! Don’t say that! Don’t say that!


(in a serious, businesslike tone) Rachel, could I see you for a moment?

you would break up with her!

I did break up with her! She just took it really, really well!


(sighs) Honey, I wish you would get over her. I hate seeing you like this. Is there anything I can do for you? Do you want to look down my top?

Thanks. But maybe later.

Oh, Gunther, can I get a scone?

(to Joey) You want anything?


But you can't stay with Phoebe, Ross! We're-we're roomies!

Look, you guys don't need me here taking up your space.


(sounds desperate, knowing what Rachel is trying to    do) I haven't really settled on a spot yet!

thing that you see when you walk in the door!

(offended) I like that poster!


(not smiling) That's not good.


(to Chandler) Wait-wait, so, you get to be my best man twice and I never get to be yours at all?


[pulls Rachel aside] I just, I wanted to thank you for our uh, our little talk before.


Well you’re gonna be a wonderful grandma. (They hug.)

Hello?! I still don’t know what the hell I’m doing!

Oh, come on, every first time mother feels that way. You’ll—you’re gonna pick it up. (Rachel doesn’t believe that.) Hey! You will! Uh look, y’know when you first came to the city? You were this spoiled helpless little girl who-who still used daddy’s credit card. Do you remember?

I hope you’re going somewhere with this.

Look at you! What—You’re-you’re this big executive! You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for. I-I have no doubt you’re gonna be an incredible mother.


(to Joey) Are you gonna be embarrassed going up there having nothing    prepared?

Hey, I do it every week with three cameras pointed at me and a whole    crew waiting!


We're not—we're not saying anything.

Uhhhh... Joey cried last night.

There was chocolate on the three. It looked like an eight, alright?


I know Monica's worst Thanksgiving.

Oh, let's not tell this story.


Oh no, no. I can't choose between you two! I love you both so much!


(running from the guy's apartment with Joey in tow) Hey, what's-what's going on?!

(panicking) Dude! He's right there!


Here you go.


See that’s where I think that you’re wrong. We’ve been playing these babies man for man; we should really be playing a zone defense.

What do you mean?

I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And y’know Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around… (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)

phoebe was addressed by chandler and spoke (ground truth)


Yep! You got the tickets?

Oh! Got ‘em right here, (Pats his coat pocket) check!

It’s all London, baby! Here we go. (He takes a picture of a less than enthused Chandler and starts towards the girls’ apartment.)

joey addressed chandler, not monica (ground truth)


So what? I drove down, sold T-shirts, had a blast. And y’know who knows how to party? Drunk college chicks.

Okay, she can’t go.

Ross, you can’t tell her not to go. You just started dating.

phoebe addressed ross, not joey (ground truth)


Monica, Monica, look at this lamp. Is this tacky or what? We have to have this.

Rache, I think we have enough regular lamps.


This is not, what Im wearing. Im ovulating and Chandlers  gonna be home any minute, so I thought we would try before dinner.

Believe me, Chandler and I have not seen each other in over a  week. Well probably be the first ones there.

chandler was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


Not that, this, US. Oh my God, Ross, you-re, you're, it's jus-, you-, ever sin- you been here.

ross was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


You must be Hilda.


Where's Monica?! Where is she? I need to talk to her! It's urgent! Is she here?

Wait what-wh-wh-what are you doing?!

chandler did not speak next (ground truth)


Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebe’s. Why were you even watching it?

I thought…maybe…you got me porn for Valentine’s Day.

Chandler, if you thought I was going to get you porn for Valentine’s Day… (pulls a video out of a basket) you were right! Apparently, it’s about a young girl who moves to the big city, you know, in search of stardom, but ends up having sex with a lot of guys! Yeah, it got four starts! (looks closer) Oh, wait a minute. Those aren’t stars. Anyway, you want to take a look?

Well, I’m not really in a sexy mood right now.

monica did not speak next (ground truth)


(taking Ross aside) Have umm, have you thought anymore about you and Rachel?

Oh well yeah, actually I was going to talk to her when you guys all came in the room.

Yay! It’s so exciting! Wow, you could’ve done that with us there.

Oh sure okay, you can touch yourself in front of us but you can’t talk to Rachel.


I've never given her a cookie. Have you?


I can't believe we are at a real college party! (Rachel laughs excitedly) I have to pee so bad!

rachel was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


I just said that so you wouldn't let Ben do it! Look Ross, if anyone should step aside it should be Ben!

Why should Ben step aside? It was his audition in the first place! You-you just tagged along! You're like the uh, tag-a-long dad.

At least I care about his feelings!


Yeah, well, I only have twenty minutes until Ethan, so, y'know.. (He starts to raid the fridge.)

Ooh, do I sense a little bit of resentment?

No, no resentment, believe me, it's worth it. 'Kay? Y'know in a relationship you have these key moments that you know you'll remember for the rest of your life? Well, every- single- second is like that with Aurora.. and I've just wasted about thirty-five of them talking to you people, so, uh.. Monica, can you help me with the door? (He has armloads of stuff.)

chandler addressed monica, not rachel (ground truth)


Uhh, no, no, it bothered me when he slept with other women.

And thank you, for that.

But y'know, I never really had anything to worry about. Ross was never very good at the flirting thing.

What? (Mumbles) What-what, what are talking about? It-it worked with you.

nine years later you had me!

All right, all right. You-you-you know what I'm going to do? I am going to order another pizza and when Caitlin gets here, you-you--I will show how well I flirt. Yeah! I will, I will get her phone number! (To Chandler) And not the one on the menu!

rachel did not speak next (ground truth)


Oh Joey, Melanie called, said she's gonna be late.

I don't know, she's, uh.... she's pretty great.

Yeah? What does she think of your little science project?

What, you think I'm gonna tell a girl I like that I'm also seeing a cup?

Man's got a point.

wants to have sex with me.

Yeah, well, I still got a week left to go in the program, and according to the rules, if I want to get the money I'm not allowed to conduct any... ersonal experiments, if you know what I mean.


She had a point. (Shows her the receipt.)

Oh my God! (Notices the boots) Oh Monica! Those boots are amazing!

rachel addressed monica, not chandler (ground truth)


Wow! That is a bad audition.

How-how did you lose your job here?

gunther did not speak next (ground truth)


(to Joey) So? What do you think? (Shows himself - Joey observes him with a strange look on his face.)

joey was addressed by ross and spoke (ground truth)


Yeah, I think I have some around here somewhere. Why?


Well, then, you'll just have to eat the other lamps.

Uh-oh. It's Scary Scientist Man.

Ok, Phoebe, this is it. In this briefcase I carry actual scientific facts. Abriefcase of facts, if you will. Some of these fossils are over 200 million years old.

phoebe was addressed by ross and spoke (ground truth)


Hey now you have two. [Chandler looks annoyed] Oh, now you have two.

What am I gonna do, huh? [Joey walks in behind him]

Well this one's for you.

No, I can't. No no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, [puts bracelet on Joey] it's about you and me and the fact that we're [reading bracelet] best buds.

phoebe did not speak next (ground truth)


Monica, what should I do?

Just uh, do the right thing. (Uses some breath spray)

Toe the line. Thread the needle. Think outside the box! (Tries to leave, but is stopped by Rachel.)


Have you guys picked a date yet?

Oh no, not yet.

cannot believe you’re engaged! (Ross looks at her) Just ‘cause its happening so fast; not ‘cause you’re such a loser.

phoebe addressed ross, not monica (ground truth)


Yeah, just some 9-year-old Filipino kids who worked their fingers bloody for 12 cents an hour. (Phoebe stares at him wide-eyed. Chandler sees her reaction.) That didn't happen, I made that up!

Oh, Ross? Ross! You can't put up flyers in here.

How come? Everybody else does.


Hey, so did everything go all right with the annulment?

Oh, yeah, no problems. It’s all taken care of.


(sarcastically) Oh, I left them on my bulldozer... I don't have tools!

I do, but Rachel borrowed them.

monica addressed rachel, not chandler (ground truth)


So ah, Phoebe, how was your date?

Ick, you were eavesdropping.


What are you talking about?

As a masseuse and a human, I'm begging you, never do that to anyone!

(indignant) I give good massages! (Ross laughs.) I used to give them to Rachel all the time before she got allergic! And-and-and Chandler loves them! Watch! (She starts giving Chandler a massage.)

monica addressed chandler, not phoebe (ground truth)


We're not—we're not saying anything.


Oh yeah! But you know what? If you need Hugsy, don't worry. Emma will totally understand. I won't... but whatever (She leaves the room).

Ok, wait wait wait wait a minute wait a minute, I mean Rach, I mean if if... . If Hugsy means that much to Emma then...  well she can have him.

Oooh... you're sweet, I knew uncle Joey would step up. (Turns to face Emma in the the playpen) Look Emma, look who's baaack!

Look forget it forget it...  I can't do it.

Are you gonna...  you're going to take Hugsy away from a little child?

How do you think I got him in the first place?


I swear, I never wanted any part of your night!

Oh, is that why you did it the secret hallway where nobody ever goes?!


I don’t care! I wanna meet this guy who's the best sex she ever had!


And on your anniversary, for shame!

What's going on?

Chandler was hitting on the hot delivery girl!

I was not and oh God, shh!

Well I'm sorry but you were! Okay? And besides if anyone should be hitting on her it's the guy who's single, the guy that who-who-who can do something about it.


But I thought you wanted to live by yourself.

I did. I thought it'd be great. I figured I'd have like, time alone with my thoughts but, ya know, it turns out I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think.


What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you? No,what's that all about? I think, I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.

Is there blood coming out of my ears?

He's even kind of cute.


Well, then talk!


Oh my God!


Yeah in fact, I’m gonna go call her right now. And I’ll make sure to tell her my friend Chandler says… (He mimics the shy reaction Chandler did.)

Uh Joe, when it’s one o’clock in the morning and you don’t come by? That’s okay!


I don't know you guys.

All right fine, don't do anything, just sit here and talk to us, meanwhile she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts thinking 'Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.'


And you're gonna make them all disappear.

Yeah, like you could find something as sophisticated as this.


No, you're right. Well, we'll find something. Let's just get you out of that. Come on.


See there you go. Woo! We're out of the woods. Okay, I'll get dressed now.

I'll get it, okay. (answers phone) Hi, Monica and Rachel's. (listens) Yeah, just a second, can I ask who's calling. (to Monica) Oh, ew, it's Michelle! Ew! She, she must have that Caller Id thing. You should get that.

(on phone) Uh, Michelle. Yeah, that was me, I-I dialed your number by mistake. (listens) Oh, you're so sweet. Yeah, we were a great couple. I know I really miss him. Well, you know how it is, it's that....

(on phone) Michelle, I only beeped in so I could hear my message. I mean that's allowed. Yeah-huh! I mean look, yeah, you know what I would really appreciate it if you didn't tell your Dad about. What do you mean, you're not comfortable with this? Come on we're friends!! (Michelle hangs up) That bitch always hated me. I'm calling her back.


The young hot ball and chain.


You’re actually going through with this?

Hey, look, this name has been holding me back my entire life. Okay, it’s probably why kids picked on me in school, and why I never do well with women… So, as of 4 o’clock tomorrow, I’m either gonna be Mark Johnson or John Markson.

You got problems because of you! Not your name! All right, this has got to stop! Chandler is a great name! In fact—yes, (To Joey) I’m, I’m sorry. I know you really wanted me to name the baby Joey, but eh, so, I’m-I’m, I’m gonna, I’m gonna name the baby Chandler.

You wanna hug it out?

Yay—oh—yay! Okay, I gotta go tell Frank and Alice! Right now!


Huh. So now, the real question is, who put those fossils there, and why?

Hey, look at this. "My Big Book of Grievances."


So you can like, bite, and pull people’s hair and stuff?

Yeah, anything goes, except ah, eye gouging and fish hooking.

Huh, what’s fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Ross’s mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?

ross addressed joey, not monica (ground truth)


Why would you even want to come Ross? You’re a horrible skier.

ross was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


Well to tell you the truth, they uh, (Pause) they had a problem with the bag!


(very serious) It's 2101 and I am not amused. (pause). Ok, the bride and groom have a few words they'd like to say. (Everyone sits and Phoebe gets up)

Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...


(To Joey) So, you busy Thursday?

Oh, very funny. I don’t know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesn’t say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Let’s hug it up! (They hug.)

Okay. Okay. (Joey puts him down.) What are you gonna do to me if you get the part?


Where is the waitress?! I’m starving!

It’s a buffet man.

Oh, here’s where I win all my money back! (Gets up and heads for the buffet table with Chandler in tow.)

Listen, I gotta talk to you.


Okay. Head Ross! Head Ross! Head Ross!


Okay, even this is turning me on!

Oh hey! Hey Ross! Hey how’s it, how’s it going with you and  Mona? Are you guys still together?

Oh yeah, yeah we’re moving forward. You’ll be getting our card!

Yeah, we’re not just doing a card! Y’know, she-she also wants to  have the conversation about where the relationship is going.

I know! I know! Why do you guys need to have this conversation?! Huh? I  mean no self-respecting man would ask a woman, "So, where is this going?"


(in voice, on phone) 'Okay, go ahead.' (in normal voice on phone) Um, hi Annie. (listens) Fantastic! (to Joey) You got it. (on phone) Oh, okay, um, 'Will he work for scale?' you ask me. Well, I don't know about that, (Joey clears his throat to signify yes) except that I do and he will. Great, oh you are such a sweetheart. I would love to have lunch with you, how about we have lunch next....(hangs up phone) Op, went through a tunnel.

Thank you so much.

It was really fun, I mean I've never talked on a car phone before.

You were amazing, could you just do me this huge favor, you see there's this one other audition that I really, really want, and Estelle couldn't get me in.

Oh, I don't know. I mean it was fun one time.


All right, I guess we should go.

Oh yeah right! (She grabs the money and shoves into her pocket.)


Just admit it Chandler, you have no backhand.

Excuse me little one, I have a very solid backhand.

Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl... is not a backhand.

I was shrieking... like a Marine.

All right here. Watch me execute the three ‘P’s of championship play. Power. (swings the racquet) Precision. (swings the racquet.) and penache. (does a backswing and hits Sarah who’s started up the stairs, knocking her down, they both watch in horror.)


I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.

Listen you guys, I don't mean to be a pain about this but, um, I've noticed that some of you are just placing them on. You wanna push the caps until you hear them click. [she demonstrates, Gunther starts to walk to the door] Gunther, where're you going?

gunther was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


to be the remains of a Paleozoic Amphibian in its jaws! How did it get there?!

Maybe this should be more of a quiet game.

Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night. (Goes to the counter) It was right here, where is it?

joey was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


No, sweetie, I-I trust you.

So, if-if I mess this up, there’s nothing else for dessert?

Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butter’s done?

Well, it’s done about two minutes before it looks like that.


He just said, "No strippers."

Oh, I chose not to hear that.

Look what I got! Look what I got! Look what I got! (She shows Rachel what she bought. She bought a little leather jacket and a little cowboy outfit for the babies.) Can you believe they make these for little people?

Little village people.

Okay, look at this one. This is my favourite. (It’s a little pink and white dress for the girl baby.)

chandler did not speak next (ground truth)


(shocked) Joey, what-wh-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-what are you doing here?

Waiting for my Grandma to finish my laundry. What about you?

I’m here to see Mary-Angela.

You are so the man! (motions him to come in, and he does) Now look, listen, listen, you got to be cool, ‘cause my Grandma doesn’t know about you two yet, and you do not want to tick her off. She was like the sixth person to spit on Mussolini's hanging body. Yeah.


Because she exchanges every gift she ever gets, it’s like impossible to get her something she likes. Come on, let’s trade!

Oh that’s not true! That’s not true! I got her that backpack and she loved it! I remember how much she was crying the day when that big dog ran off with it… (notices the look on Monica and Phoebe’s faces.) Oh, there was no big dog. All right this sucks! I already got her this briefcase, and I had R.G. put on it… (Phoebe looks confused.) Her initials…

monica was addressed by chandler and spoke (ground truth)


For the ride.

Yeah, like in a cab...

Monica, come on now. Let's go, baby coming.

monica was addressed by ross and spoke (ground truth)


Oh my God Chandler! I can’t believe it!

Why do they put so much steam in there?!

Why? Okay? Why? Wh-wh-why did that have to happen?

monica did not speak next (ground truth)


Well, this is the last box of your clothes. I’m just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"


I'd wanna rip his tiny little head off. Fortunately, I'm past it.

Phoebe, you do seem a little tense. Here, let me help you.

phoebe was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


He's not backing down. He went to get lotion.

(entering the hall) Oh man! Aren't you guys done yet?!


Honestly? Me too.

Yeah. Y’know I keep thinking that something stupid is gonna come up and I’ll go all…Chandler. But nothing has.

Ohh, I’m so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean it’s really, it’s made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!

Okay. I’ll be right there.

(voice on answering machine) Hi! If you’re calling before Saturday, you’ve reached Monica and Chandler. But if you’re calling after Saturday, you’ve reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Please leave a message for the Bings!


It used to be. Now she doesn’t really have a face. Smokin’ body though.

Good call. Yeah. But, the face Ross, the face isn’t Rachel.

No but ahh! How much easier would it be if it were?

I know, but I don’t think that’s what she wants.

No, it’s not what I want either. I mean I-I can’t force myself to fall in love with her again now.


(looks at the ground and at Ross) I don’t know Ross! I-I tell you what, let’s flip to see who does it, okay? You-you call it in the air, all right?

Oh, all right. (Joey flips the coin.) Tails! (The coin bounces off of the landing above them and falls to the ground.) Can you-can you see what it is?

Okay. Well, you be careful.


Huh. So now, the real question is, who put those fossils there, and why?

Hey, look at this. "My Big Book of Grievances."

Hey, there's me! April 17th. Excessive noise. Italian guy comes homes with adate. Hey Chandler, look, you're in here too.

chandler was addressed by joey and spoke (ground truth)


Phoebe, oh my God! Wh-wh-what are you doing here?

I need to talk to you, it’s pretty urgent. It’s about Monica and Chandler.


Well, if you think about it, I am kind of like a Reverend. I mean, as a chef, I serve God, by feeing the hungry and poor. (looks very convinced about what she just said)

Your Veal Chop is $34,95!

C'mon Chandler, I think we have been given an opportunity. I mean, the mistake has already been made. They are writing up the paper right now.

But we are not the one she chose! How can you feel okay about this?

(very emotional) Because... We may not be who she thinks we are but no-one will ever love that baby more than us.

I mean, who knows how long it's gonna take for someone else to give us a baby? What if, what if no one ever picks us?

(Almost crying) Please.. please, we are so close.


It’s not just that she’s cute, okay. It’s just that...she’s really really cute.


Yes, every single one of them.

Phoebe, you're gonna be with your grandma?

monica addressed phoebe, not chandler (ground truth)


Yeah, well, Hurricane Gloria didn’t break the porch swing, Monica did!

Ross hasn’t worked at the museum for a year!

Monica and Chandler are living together!


Phoebe, you get the bear, uhm, Joey, you get the robot, and Chandler    and I get the dog. Ok, and the race is going to go (Takes two cups and marks    the start and finish lines with them) from here to here. Now the one who comes    in last, stays!

chandler was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


Joey, listen. I can't do this, it doesn't make any sense. Yesterday I was a nurse, and today I'm a waitress at a cafe?

joey was addressed by phoebe and spoke (ground truth)


Ross, it's too hard.


Oh no, no. I can't choose between you two! I love you both so much!

Just not enough to put us in the original wedding party.

Oh, I don't wanna choose! It's (Rachel is walking by). Oh okay, wait. Rach! Listen I have a very special bridesmaid task for you today.

rachel was addressed by phoebe and spoke (ground truth)


Yes. Yes I do.

All right Ross you’re in the lead, would you like to take another question or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?

The wheel has not been my friend tonight Joey. Uh, I’ll take another question.

Okay, this is gonna be tough. Hold your breath.

No dude, you gotta hold your breath until you’re ready to answer the question.

rachel did not speak next (ground truth)


Who? Two divorces and Joey?!


Hi! I just wanna-(sees Monica)-Ahhh!!! Oh my God! (She runs out in horror.) Oh my God!

(pulling on a robe) Okay, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I-I-I was um, I was taking a nap.

position. Oh God Monica, tell me you were waiting for a guy! Please tell me you were waiting for a guy!

Yes. Yes, I was. A guy. From work. (Thinks) I'm seeing a guy from work! Ha!

(Gasps) That cute waiter guy from your restaurant, the one that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta?

Y'know what, just give me a second and I'll be out of your hair. I'm just gonna grab a jacket. When I get back, I want every little detail. (There's a knock on the door.) Maybe that's him. (Goes to answer the door.)


Ross I—We tried all the spicy food. It’s not working.

Okay here, have one of these peppers. Oh ha… Oh God! So…so hot! (Rubs his eyes.) Oh my—(Laughs.) By the way, you don’t want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye.

I am feeling nothing. Speaking of hot, watching you do that really makes me want to have sex with you.

Oh come on Ross, why are we wasting our time with this other stuff?! We know what’s gonna work! It’s doctor recommended!


And it’s a magnet!

Look at that!


No, a car backfired, but (Rachel suddenly calms down) I thought somebody was taking a shot at me. And Rach, I…I survived! And I was filled with this-this great respect for life. Y'know? I-I want to experience every moment. I want to seize every opportunity. I-I am seeing everything so-so clearly now.

Well, I-I-I don't know how this fits into your whole "seizing" thing but um, Emily called you today.

You talked to her?

No, she left a message. (He starts for the machine.) (Stopping him.) But it-it kinda got erased. There's just (Pause) something wrong with your machine.

Well, okay, what-what did she say?

Well, uh something about having second thoughts about the wedding and did you guys make a mistake breaking up and uh, she wants you to call her.


No! Phoebe, it’s not Gunther.

Thank God, ‘cause that hair on a baby…


Hey, save us some pizza. [they go off to Rachel's room]

Get out of the corner. Pass it, pass it.


He's a brilliant diagnostician!

Diagnostician or boo-boo fixer?


I can't believe it. Paolo kissed my mom?


[in phone] So, Spock actually hugs his father?

Hey, do you guys have...[sees Ross, pauses]...hi.

rachel addressed ross, not chandler (ground truth)


Monica, betting the apartment, I don’t know about this.

Rachel, I have not missed one question the whole game. I own this game! Look at my hand. (Holds up her hand.)

No! Steady as a rock! Now, are you with me.

All right, let’s do it.


Hey you guys, I need some fashion advice.


Hey, Chandler, can we please stay focused on my problem here?! Y'know?

I’m talking about you. You big, big freak.

Oh. (realises) Ohh. Ohh, you’re out of your mind.


What makes it pilgrim?


How late are we?

Forty-five minutes.

phoebe did not speak next (ground truth)


[sitting at table talking to a girl] It's hard to tell because I'm sweating, but I use exactly what the gel bottle says, an amount about the size of a pea. How, how can that be too much?

[carrying an ice cube tray] Ice, ice, ice squares anyone? Take a napkin. Alright.

Monica, Monica, your guest are turning into jerky, OK.

Really? I'm perfectly comfortable. [one of the guest opens the refrigerator] Hey, hey, hey, get in line buddy, I was next. [she opens the refrigerator and leans into it]


(Holding a shirt in front of Ross.) Okay, maybe this will make your teeth look less white. (Ross has a big smile.) Nope. Okay, colors that don’t work are blue, yellow, green, red, black, white, orange, and purple.

I don’t know what I’m going to do. That date starts in like an hour.

Hey Ross, maybe if your skin was lighter. Your teeth wouldn’t look so bright.


Okay. Do you guys want me to play for you?

Hey Pheebs, what’s up?

You ask an intriguing question Chandler Bing.

let Phoebe in.

I can’t believe this! How long as this been going on?


Okay, cancel backup! Cancel backup!

Ross, didn't you say that there was an elevator in here?

Uhh, yes I did but there isn't. Okay, here we go.

Okay, go left. Left! Left! (The bottom of the couch is hitting the railing.)

Okay, y'know what? There is no more left, left!

Oh okay, lift it straight up over your head! Straight up over your head! You can do it! You can do it! (She gets it lifted up and they make the first turn.) Okay. You got it?

Yeah, you got it right? You got it right? You got it?


Maybe you don't need him to propose to you, maybe you can propose to    him!

Oh, I don't know, I don't know, isn't that a little desperate?


What did I marry into?


Are you serious?! I mean like eloping?! No more stupid wedding stuff?! No more these flowers or these flowers or these flowers—Think of the money we’ll save!! (Monica just looks at him.) We’re not eloping. I love the flowers. Can our wedding be bigger please?

We’re going to Las Vegas to see your dad. It’s time you two talked, and I want to get to know my father-in-law.


(terrified) Right, because it's fast. Because, it's so fast. It's fast!


(laughs) All I could think of was y’know, "Is he gonna kiss me? Is he gonna kiss me?"

I’m a lady Monica, I don’t kiss and tell. But this hickey speaks for itself. (She starts to open up her blouse.)

Okay-okay, I got it. I got it.

I just like him so much that I just feel like I’ve had 10 drinks today and I’ve only had six.


Hey Monica it’s Joey. Listen uh, Phoebe and I smell gas comin’ from your apartment.

What? Are you serious?! (To Chandler) Joey smells gas!

Yeah and we’d go check it out, but you took away our keys.

Well do something! Get in there!


Ohh! No way Phoebe! I want to be Monica’s!

But why does it even matter?!

Why does it matter so much to you?!

of our best friends! Who knows what you’re gonna marry!


Yeah, two hours, a lifetime that’s the same.

(entering) Check it out! Check it out! When the babies wake up, they can meet Krog! (He holds up this Xena-like warrior action figure.)

Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someone’s eye out!

He can do more than that! He can destroy the universe!

They’re not gonna swallow anything, you guys are being way over protective. When I was a kid, my mom used to just throw me into a pile of broken glass!


No, come on Ross! (He grabs his bag so he can’t leave) Look, Ross, we have to get past this.

Give me the bag.

No, look, I don’t know what else to do. I said I’m sorry!

You should scream at me, or-or-or curse me, or hit me.

I’m not gonna hit you.

Why not?  You’ll feel better!  I’ll feel better, and you know you want to. I can see it in your eyes.

A little bit.

Give me the bag.


God. I feel violated.

Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?


So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you?

I'm sorry, okay. It's just that Chandler has somebody, and Phoebe has somebody- I thought I'd ask Fun Bobby.


Forget it! Okay, I’m not giving up my bachelor pad for some basketball seats!

Have you even had a girl up here?


Phoebe, you're gonna be with your grandma?

Yes, and her boyfriend. But we're celebrating Thanksgiving in December 'cause he is lunar.

So you're free Thursday, then.

Yeah. Oh, can I come?


Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

[peeks back out] Ok, now that your coat is safely in the bedr-, [sees that the coast is clear] oh, ok we can come back out in the living room.

So uh, Joey and Chanlder, I, I think it's time that you take Dr. Greene over to your place.

Right this is staging.


Pass the cheese, please.

My God, you can’t even look at me! Can you?

(jumping up) Hey! Phoebe! We can talk to Phoebe!!

phoebe was addressed by chandler and spoke (ground truth)


What a beautiful night to be running around the street, looking for tickets. And the wind sure made it fun.

Phoebe, we lost half of them.

So, what? Monica, we have the winning ticket! My psychic said I  was gonna win, remember?


Skidmark’s still got a way with the ladies.

Hi! I just want to apologize. I’m really sorry I was a baby.


Yeah. No. And you know what? Nobody even saw!

Honey I swear it we just kissed.


Here she comes. Hold on, I’m gonna make your life much easier.

All right, well the place was closed. I’ll just copy it later.


I-I am serious, I mean, we're, we're all over each other all the time.


I've never given her a cookie. Have you?


Wow. Joey, (sarcastically) how do you do it?


(to a customer) Are you all finished here?

Okay, here are the tips for this morning. Jen gets 50, 50 for me, and Joey owes eight dollars.

Well if it’s free food, how come you’re charging me for it?

gunther did not speak next (ground truth)


Oh.... my God.

(pats Chandler on the leg) That's good, just keep rubbing your head. That'll turn back time.

No it's not. It's small. It's tiny. It's petite. It's wee.


So Chandler, have you heard about Monica's secret boyfriend?

Really?! That's what you heard? (To Monica) You said that?


You'd better get back in that kitchen Monica, the garlic is not gonna overuse itself.

Ok, you have to stop playing now.


Yeah, I think it was better when you guys were sad. Hey, uh, remember the roller blades?

You know what else I’m not gonna miss? "I’m Monica. I wash the toilet 17 times a day. Even if people are on it!"


No, honey, in a wonderful way. You know what you want now. Most guys don't evenhave a clue. You are ready to take risks, you are ready to be vulnerable, and intimatewith someone.


I don't have travel insurance.

Well, this is what happens when people live on the edge!

Why don't you take Ross?

Uh, don't you think that would be a little weird? I mean, two guys in a romantic inn...


Phoebe, it’s been two days.

Yeah, I know. Oh, good thing it’s one of those 801 numbers. Right?

No, no, no, oh no-no-no, it’s has to be 800. (picks up the instruction manual to check the phone number) ‘Cause all those big companies have 800 numbers, every one. (Finds the number) Yeah, every big Utah-based company has one.


Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?

I'll help you. Yeah, I'll make up a schedule and make sure you stick to it. And plus, it'll give me something to do.

Really? You'd-you'd do that for me?!


All right, ready?

Okay, I don't think we can turn anymore!


first! Now let’s take a look at… (Phoebe rushes in.)

I need to talk to you, it’s pretty urgent. It’s about Monica and Chandler.

Oh my God! Of course, of course. (To the class.) Umm, would you please excuse me for a moment? Umm, do you know each other’s hometowns? Why don’t you… (Motions that they should learn everyone’s hometown.) (To Phoebe) Wh-what’s going on?


No, you can't go there! You know how I feel about these "big    massage places"! They're putting people like me out of business!

And she wants to go hunting, too!!

Phoebe, come on, I don't wanna waste it! It would be like throwing    away a hundred bucks!

, ok? It's about... it's    about corporate greed destroying our hearts and leaving us... the hollow shells.

I don't care about any of that!!

Well, do you care about friendship?

I feel really strongly about this, Rachel. Please, don't use    this gift certificate. I'm asking you as a friend.


Ok, I didn't see it, because I was putting on my jacket, but I uh want tobelieve you.

Hey Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp.

rachel addressed monica, not phoebe (ground truth)


No, actually I thought about it when, when we were going out. It’s how I imagined I uh, I would ask you to marry me.


Are you asking me to move out? Do you not want me here?

Oh no-no, no-no I love living with you. It just seems that…if you’re gonna have a roommate, y’know it might as well be the father.

But Joey, I don’t think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean—(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)—Or he does.

No I-I-I would love to be around for you and the baby. And we-we can just try it like on a temporary basis.

But Ross, its you and me!


Well, then so you just invite me...!

(speaking aloud) Please, I was trying to be nice, you're the worst one!


Oh, what are you going to do, follow me down there?

Well, I’m not going to go now anyway (he goes to sit down).

(handing Joey the bill) Here you go.

Ah, Gunther, I can’t pay for this right now because I’m not working, so I’ve had to cut down on some luxuries like uh, payin’ for stuff.


Yeah! And she's comforted by him because she loves her uncle Joey so much.

Really? She... she loves me?

Oh yeah! But you know what? If you need Hugsy, don't worry. Emma will totally understand. I won't... but whatever (She leaves the room).


No! She had the ring on, she seemed so excited, and then she took her breast out.

Joey, you have to tell her what’s going on! And what did it look like?!

I didn’t look at it. Stupid baby’s head was blocking most of it.


How? I guess I could break down your door.

Yeah! Do that!

And-and you won’t blame us for any damage? (Gives Phoebe a thumbs up.)

phoebe was addressed by joey and spoke (ground truth)


Oh hey Joey! What's up?

I can't decide which route to take to Vegas. Hey, you've traveled a lot right?


(stopping him) Hey, whoa-whoa! What's she like?


What have I not told you?

Oh, I don't know. Umm, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace.

chandler did not speak next (ground truth)


Okay, look, I’m gonna have to ask you all to leave.

Look, forget it. We tried, but Phase Three is a lost cause, Okay? Those strippers were insanely hot, and I couldn’t picture myself with any of them. (Sits back in disgust.)


Not for the next few minutes.


Where's Monica?! Where is she? I need to talk to her! It's urgent! Is she here?

Wait what-wh-wh-what are you doing?!

No-no, don't-don't-don't do it!


Oh, and Monica gets to keep her?   In her house? I am so jealous!

You know, I would give her up, for you.

No, I couldn't let you do that.


Oh yeah, and what would my opening line be? 'Excuse me. Blarrglarrghh.'

Oh, c'mon. She's a person, you can do it!


I don't know, probably just invest it.

Seriously, that's your fantasy? To invest it?

Oh, I'm sorry, did I say "invest it"? I meant "be cool and piss it all away" (Joey and Chandler pleased)

Ooh, ooh, I know! We should pool all own money and buy the Knicks!


That's it! Thanks Pheebs!


No! No! No Ross! I’m not hot! Are you hot?

It’s been six months! I’m always hot!

Well you’re not selling the story! It’s like; it’s like you don’t believe it! Look, I gotta go. I got a date, but try this. Do what I do when I’m preparing for an audition. Okay? I’ll set you up with my video camera and you can record yourself and-and see what you’re doing wrong.

All right now… All right, you’re all set up. You’re good to go. Just hit record. All right?


What? A brain transplant?!

Well, I think it’s ridiculous that you haven’t had sex in three and a half months.

(to Monica and Rachel) It’s winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)


What, it's ok when Chandler does it?

chandler was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


You know where Joey is?

I don't believe this... Have you guys been...

And then she told me that she and Joey had broken up,   and that part of the reason was that she had feelings for me.


You got it.

Joey, what are you doing?

Just being friendly. (He gives Monica a ‘what’s wrong with you?’ look and proceeds to walk behind the counter.)


Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life I’m doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life I’m doing something that I’m actually good at. I mean. if you don’t get that...

No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And I’m happy for ya, but I’m tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I don’t know what to do anymore.

Well neither do I!

Is this about Mark?

(shocked) Oh my God.

Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight over and over again, Ross, no, you’re, you’re, you’re making this too hard.


Phoebe, come on that's silly.

All right, so let's switch.

No, I have all of the good words. OK, fine, fine, we can switch.

Please...wait, how did you do that?

Oh, you're no ordinary roommate are you?

Phoebe, come on can we finish this later? Cause I wanna go running before it gets dark. Oh! Why don't you come with me?!

Yeah, it'll be fun. We'll run in the park. It'll be like our first y’know roommate bonding thing.


O-okay. (steps closer to Monica and speaks softly) So, is she gonna take the test?

monica was addressed by chandler and spoke (ground truth)


On three, 1…2…3! (Rachel turns her head on three to avoid the drops.) Now my pillow's all wet! (She was trying to fool Rachel and squeezed the eyedropper.)

Well, well, you said it was practice!

Then why did you move?!


I love that movie. (Joey is using it as a pillow)

There it is. Joey, what are you doing?

I'm sorry, it just felt nice.

monica did not speak next (ground truth)


Oh, please tell me it’s not because I’m going with Mark.

Oh my God!!! Ross!!

ross was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


are stealing her thunder. (To Monica) Which we are not!

Well, we’re still talking about it, aren’t we?


Oh my God, I’m so sorry.

What’s the big deal?


Well, now she has no eyebrows, mission accomplished.

But Monica, he loves his job so much! Can you just give him another chance? Please?

monica was addressed by phoebe and spoke (ground truth)


(to Joey) You owe me 20 bucks.

Thank you. Thank you so much!

(hands Chandler a bag) Chandler, here you go, got your traditional Thanksgiving feast, you got your tomato soup, your grilled cheese fixin's, and your family size bag of Funyuns.

All right, I'm nine years old.

We just finished this magnificent Thanksgiving dinner. I have--and I remember this part vividly--a mouthful of pumpkin pie, and this is the moment my parents choose to tell me they're getting divorced.


(pulling Chandler away from the Maitre d') You need to give him money.

Give him money? It was a joke!

No, to get a table! Places like are always shakin’ you down. Everybody wants to be paid off.


Well, how could it not be breezy, no, 'cause, you're, you're in such a breezy place.


Nothing. Ok, everything. I think we're calling off the wedding.

You're still gonna pay me, right? Or something a little less selfish.

Carol, what's the matter? What happened?

My parents called this afternoon to say they weren't coming.

Oh my god.

I mean, I knew they were having trouble with this whole thing, but they're myparents. They're supposed to give me away and everything.


What? They will be!

All right, that’s it, I’m getting out of here.


Come on up. I'm gonna get the rest of his stuff together. [walks in his room]

Ok, we can do this now, can't we Ben? Yes we can, yes we can. [finishes the diaper] There. I did it. I did it. Look at that, oh, stays on and everything. Hi.

I'm sorry, what did you just say? Did you just say hi? Oh my God, Ross, Ross, Ben just said 'Hi'.


I need to get some Richard.

Monica, you broke up with him for a reason.

I know, I know. I'm just so tired of-of missing him. I'm tired of wondering why hasn't he called. Why hasn't he called!


Just let her serve the beef-custard thing?

Yeah, it’ll be like a funny Thanksgiving story!

Joey, God, your apartment is like a hundred degrees!

Did-did it make you wanna walk around in your underwear?


Oh, let me see! (grabs picture) Oh, God, is he just the sweetest thing? You must just want to kiss him all over!

(quietly) That would be nice.

Nothing, just a little extra air in my mouth. Pffft. Pffffffft. (walks over to where Joey is seated)

chandler addressed joey, not rachel (ground truth)


Come on little Chandler, it's time to be born. Come on little Chandler! Come on!

Oh God, kindergarten flashback.

They musta read the sonogram wrong. 'Cause they, 'cause they thought it was a boy, but Chandler's a girl! Chandler's a girl!


Monica! I couldn’t find him for two hours! He was having sex with Amy Welch!

Come on, that was back in high school! How could that still bother you?

I mean why, of all people would you want to go out with Chip?!

Look, you and I went to different high schools...

Okay, that doesn’t help me, because we went to the same high school.

You went to one where you were popular, and you got to ride off Chip’s motorcycle, and wear his letterman jacket. I went to one where I wore a band uniform they had to have specially made.


Joey, no means no!

joey was addressed by chandler and spoke (ground truth)


Well, you tell a lot of jokes!

Look, Chandler, it’s my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they don’t print the name, so it doesn’t really matter who gets credit, right?

Yeah, I guess.

printed my joke.

No, it’s my joke, it’s mine. You can call them, they’ll tell you.


(nearly weeping) I was not ready for this today!

Oh, Phoebe, I’m sorry! Phoebe has prepared something as well.

That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to    hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts    singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma!    Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy    birthday Emma!


No, it’s not. I mean you-you made me your best man and I totally let you down!


Oh, give her the deposit! Give her the ring! I don’t care!


When she sees that you’re gone, she’s gonna know that I let you out, and that I was in here, and I’m gonna get fired!


Oh God, here we go!


Hey, y'know while we’re on that, when are you gonna tell my sister that you don’t live here anymore.

I think on some levels she already knows.

Phoebe, she doesn’t know that you sneak out every night, she doesn’t know that you sneak back every morning, and she doesn’t know that you’ve been living with your Grandmother’s for a week now.

Okay, well maybe not on those levels.


I’m just saying it’s been a really long time for you. I mean, women have needs. Do it, get yours!


Let's see, 1939... yeah, 24, 25?


You got it.

Okay, see ya later.

See ya. (Ross exits, and Chandler moves over next to Joey, laughing.) Have fun planning your mellow bachelor party.

Well, there’s gonna be strippers there. He didn’t say anything about no strippers.


All right, but you can’t use that again for a whole year. I’m in.


let me nap! Ugh, I’m gonna get cranky!

Joey, there is a perfectly good couch across the hall!

one of the places the duck got sick!

Now Joey, what did the duck do?!

eat your face cream!


Nice shoes, huh? (He wiggles his foot and the bells tinkle)

Ross! He's playing with my spatulas again!

Okay, look, he's not gonna hurt them, right?

Do you always have to bring him here?

I didn't wanna leave him alone. Alright? We- we had our first fight this morning. I think it has to do with my working late. I said some things that I didn't mean, and he- he threw some faeces...


Well, we're not here to meet guys. You have a boyfriend, I have a    b. . . baby and a Ross.

Yeah, but, ah, ah, nothing has to happen. We're just having fun.    You know, not everything had to go as far as "eye-contact."

Chandler, you have to tell Joey that you're not in Tulsa.

Don't you think it's better for him to think that you're cheating    on me, than for him to think that I'm cheating on him? (Monica tips her head    slightly as if asking "Did you hear yourself?") I heard it.


Y'know I don’t, I don’t understand guys, I mean I-I would never congratulate Monica on a great stew by y'know, grabbin’ her boob.

Okay, can we please go eat?


bar after every  game.

Okay. Phoebe that’s it. Come on, get out—out of the chair. Get  out! (She goes to move Phoebe, but Phoebe goes limp and Monica can’t move her.) Oh  come…Phoebe!


So do you think uh, Joey’s more charming than me?

Yeah! That’s why I’m sleeping with him on the side.

Phoebe, stop writing about us!

I’m not writing about you! I’m writing about other people.


Wow! I can’t believe you lied to me.

Okay, I can fix this! Okay Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. (Rachel glares at her.)


Phoebe, you had a date three days ago.

That wasn’t a date! That was, that was just friends getting together…(quietly) having sex.

Okay. Okay, see? I get the phone.

broke with Tag a week ago.

Yeah! (Breaking up) And until now, I didn’t think I’d love again.


He shot a bird!

Oh that is over!

Phoebe, are you okay?

Yeah. Yeah, I'll be alright.


of me playing rugby with him was like hilarious. So I’m gonna show her how tough I really am!

(starts laughing, Ross stares at her) I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You’re right, you are a tough guy. You’re the toughest palaeontologist I know.

Look, don’t worry about me. Okay? I’ll just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. I’ll uh, I’ll be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)

Oh, well maybe there was a dog lookin’ at him.


Yeah! (to Sandy) Excuse me... (She walks to the kitchen    with Ross and sighs)

Do you realise that man has cried in our apartment three    times...? Huh? I haven't cried that many times since I moved in.

(picks up a cookie) Okay, okay, see... that... that    is the problem. He is too sensitive. (takes a bite from the cookie)


You're a dork.

I can't believe this.

Chandler, I said I was sorry.

monica addressed chandler, not joey (ground truth)


This is so cool!


(to Joey) You owe me 20 bucks.


military leader. I mean I know I would make General way before any of you guys.


Okay, well, we’ll call the company that sent her!

I did that too! They wouldn’t give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again they’d call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them I’m missing a ring!"


(to Rachel) Uh, how long until they announce the numbers, Mommy?

(looks around) I'll take this one too (to Ross) Uh ... Mommy?