I was hugging her as a friend. It’s not my fault her-her hair got in my face, she’s got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh…coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesn’t mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!

(taking his coffee) Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachel’s not in the same place you are.

am not in that place!

Okay, I didn’t understand that, but y’know, maybe that’s ‘cause you were speaking the secret language of love!


You're right, I'm sorry. Will you marry me?

Aw, and I was gonna ask you to marry me because I forgot to say hello to you last week.

Oh no wait Pheebs, I think for something like that you just ask them to move in with you. But I'm not sure, Chandler?

rachel addressed chandler, not phoebe (ground truth)


We're not—we're not saying anything.

Uhhhh... Joey cried last night.

There was chocolate on the three. It looked like an eight, alright?


Oh, I’m Ross. I’m Ross. I’m too good for the Hut; I’m too good for the Hut.

Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay?

joey was addressed by ross and spoke (ground truth)


Okay Ross that’s fine, but can you please stand near my head?

ross was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


Okay great, hold on a sec! (She runs to her room and returns carrying a huge bag of laundry.) Oh, here you go! You don't mind do ya? That would really help me out a lot! Thanks!

I mean I-I don't I think I have enough quarters.

Hey Ross! Any word on the apartment yet?

rachel addressed ross, not monica (ground truth)


They live on the upper east side on Park Avenue!


That's, that's nice twice!

rachel did not speak next (ground truth)


Phoebe, if this guy’s going through a divorce, is it such a good idea to start going out with him?

phoebe was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


Well, I'm very impressed.

Some can sing, some can dance. I apparently can turn phallic cakes into    woodland creatures.


Ross, where did you get this?!

Of course not, it smells like wine, which you spilled! And thanks for wrecking my sheet by the way.


(running after her) Rach, it’s gonna be okay! (To Ross and Joey) You guys are the best!

Why-why would I care about that?

phoebe did not speak next (ground truth)


Wow! Wow! And it’s definitely all gone? There’s nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?

I don’t know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell ‘em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.

Joey! This is not like learning to ride a horse! This is like learning to…grow a turtleneck!

I kn-I know! I know! Okay? And apparently tomorrow when I go in to meet the director I have to take off my clothes so that they can see what my body looks like.


: He just left.

) Joey! You never gonna believe it: she called.

: I don't know, but it sounds great.


Rachel! Come on out! Monica made breakfast!

Well, can I keep the presents and still be 29?


Well, I mean it’s not all bad. I’m learning to appreciate the uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky.


Wow! Hey, why are you all dressed up?


Okay, get ready to see some beggin’!


What are you talking about?!


Huh? Are, uh, any of these cultures, per chance, in the tri-state area?

You know, you are so amazing, is there anything you, you don't know?

[to Monica at the counter] Ooh, Julie's so smart, Julie's so special.

Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now and you're just gonna have to get over it.


Oh, come on. What was with that whole Black Bart speech? (mimicking) "When I play poker, I'm not a nice guy!"

No, I don't think so, see Ross, because I think you love her.

Um.... no. See, I might've had feelings for her at one time—not any more. I just—I...

chandler did not speak next (ground truth)


(sits down at the table) Oh, eh, just thinking about Emily getting married tomorrow. (Joey panics.)

Ooh, Ross, look! Look! (Points behind Ross.)

Right over there! Right there! Look-look-look!


Dr. Burke? I don't think so. I mean, like, he's a grown up.


But Phoebe, wait! Wait! Phoebe. Phoebe! (catches her in the hallway)

Oh, Joey! Oh, okay, see I didn't recognize you wearing, in those....pants.


He probably wants you back because you're right for the job.

Maybe. I-I don't know—Oh God, how could I be so stupid?!

monica did not speak next (ground truth)


Just get your nails done?

Yes Phoebe, but this is all I have. Okay? (She pours out the rest of her change purse into the bucket.)

phoebe was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?

Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.

So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight?

Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so nothing!


What if they get mixed up?

Boy I would just uh, I would freak out.


I said I’ll do it!


Joey, look, are you attracted to Monica? Right here, right now, are you attracted to her?

Well sure! I'm just wearing sweats! (Looking at Chandler and slowly realizing what his point is.) But that's good that you're not in love with me, because you just want a girlfriend!

before we started dating. So maybe-maybe that's it?


Nothing, I just thought I'd stop by.. y'know, after the uh... that I.. y'know, so what are you doing here?


Hey, honey! What’s the matter? (Monica shows her, her hat.) Fine, I was just trying to be nice! Whoa!

I mean I have not been picked on this much since kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me. (Joey laughs and Monica glares at him.)

I mean they’re trying to do everything they can to make me quit, and if there were any other job, I would. But this is something I’ve been waiting for my whole life.

Well, wait a minute, you’re the boss! Why don’t you just yell at them? Or, fire them?

I would love too, but I can’t! I mean I just can’t, you know that I’m not good at confrontation.


I think they're very nice.

I like them a lot.

That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. (Motions to Ross's buttock.) Maybe there's something in that area.

Oh see, I-I needed a new thing for today and there's this leather store that always smells so good and I thought to myself, "Wow, (To Chandler) I never really owned a good smelling pair of pants before."


What about your massage client?


Phoebe, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kill you!

You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.


Chandler, this is not our problem. We've got each    other. That's all that matters.

Yeah, oh, but I just keep picturing you rolling    around with him with your cowboy boots in the air...

Cowboy boots? I've never worn cowboy boots in my whole    life! (she turns on the video again)

Oh, good, good. Play more, 'cause I wanna see how    it ends.

THAT'S NOT ME!

What...? That's not you! Life is good again! Ride    'em cowgirl!

That bastard taped over me! (Chandler's expression    changes)

Is that a problem?


He called the Long Island Expressway a concrete miracle.

(imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry…(He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)

ross addressed phoebe, not monica (ground truth)


He just said, "No strippers."


Sure. By the way, there's a difference between being obsessive and. . .

Ross, the heat!

Fine, OK! Heat, heat, heat, and I'm the obsessive one. [goes to the radiator and starts turning the knob] OK, this way is on, so this is. . . [breaks off the knob] off.

No, no, I was turnin' the knob and, and. . . here it is.


Oh, I'm glad. Listen, I want to apologize about Chandler, though. I just did not see this coming.

(enters the room wearing an "I love New York" t-shirt, a "Statue of Liberty" hat and carrying bags) New York is awesome!

What is with you?

Yeah, I've been to these places before, but I've never really seen them, you know.

Oh! It was our pleasure. We are so much enjoying getting to know you.


What?! He got to do it at your first wedding!

Joey, I figured you’d understand. I mean, I-I’ve known him a lot longer.

Come on Ross! Look, I-I don’t have any brothers; I’ll never get to be a best man!


When you were reading the dirty magazines without taking off the plastic!


This is Patrick. (Points to him.)

Hi. (To Phoebe) Okay, you’re too late okay? Because she’s already with our guy.

(looks) Oh my God, you’re right! I am too late; they’re sitting on the couch and talking! (To Patrick) Come on! (They go over to the couch.) Rachel?

I’m just sort of in the middle of something.

Oh! Okay! Yeah, that’s okay. (To Patrick) Have a seat. (Sits Patrick down next to Rachel.)


Well, then, you'll just have to eat the other lamps.

Uh-oh. It's Scary Scientist Man.

Ok, Phoebe, this is it. In this briefcase I carry actual scientific facts. Abriefcase of facts, if you will. Some of these fossils are over 200 million years old.

Ok, look, before you even start, I'm not denying evolution, ok, I'm just sayingthat it's one of the possibilities.


See? Ben doesn't think you're a loser, he thinks you're a cowboy! Now that's something.


Nice shoes, huh? (He wiggles his foot and the bells tinkle)

Ross! He's playing with my spatulas again!

Okay, look, he's not gonna hurt them, right?


Look Joey, come on she’s so perfect for you! I mean she’s sweet, she-she likes baseball, and she-she had two beers at lunch.

My beers?! Look you guys, she’s a very nice girl. Okay? We had a good time, but I just—I don’t see it going anywhere.


Yes, and I know that you’d say no if he asked you, but I’m sorry; how great would you look walking down the aisle in this Donna Carin. (shows her the picture.)

(gasps) Oh, you so would! Oh, you should get that anyway. (They both look at her.) Like for clubbing.

It is so weird, I know what I said, but uh, this morning, I was lying in bed I was, I was imagining what it would be like to say yes. (Rachel slams the magazine shut in amazement.) I know it’s a little sudden, and it’s a little rushed, and it’s totally not like me to do something like this, but that doesn’t mean I can’t. Right? I mean I’m-I’m crazy about Pete, and I know that we want the same things, and when I thought about saying yes, it made me really happy.

rachel was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


No, really. Really, Pheebs, you’re not gonna be the one worrying about saving for college, or yelling at them when they’re bad, y’know, or deciding to put them on Ritalin when they just won’t calm down. Y’know?


Don't you realise what you're-you're doing to yourself?

Hey, y'know, I have had it with you guys and your cancer and your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it.


Guys, do you think we should ask Ross to come along?

ross was addressed by joey and spoke (ground truth)


Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in college and he blamed it on me!

ross was addressed by chandler and spoke (ground truth)


Wow! Why do you want to get rid of her so badly?

Because she exchanges every gift she ever gets, it’s like impossible to get her something she likes. Come on, let’s trade!

Oh that’s not true! That’s not true! I got her that backpack and she loved it! I remember how much she was crying the day when that big dog ran off with it… (notices the look on Monica and Phoebe’s faces.) Oh, there was no big dog. All right this sucks! I already got her this briefcase, and I had R.G. put on it… (Phoebe looks confused.) Her initials…

chandler addressed monica, not phoebe (ground truth)


You told me you hate massages!

let Phoebe in.

I can’t believe this! How long as this been going on?


Yeah, I’m not gonna pay for those acting classes anymore.

Rachel, there you are! Come on, let’s serve that dessert already!

Joey, you’re gonna have to stop rushing me, you know what? You don’t get any dessert.


That's so funny, 'cause I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani, man slash woman.

You know those posters for the city free clinic?


Nothing, just a little extra air in my mouth. Pffft. Pffffffft. (walks over to where Joey is seated)

Hey, Chan, can you help me out here? I promise I'll pay you back.

Oh, yeah, right, OK... inlcuding the waffles last week, you now owe me... 17 jillion dollars.

I will, really. I'll pay you back this time.

(sigh)... And where's this money coming from? (gives money to Joey)


Why’d you say no?

Remember what happened the last time I did an interview for them? I said I write a lot of my own lines, and then the writers got mad and made my character fall down the elevator shaft. So who knows what I might say this time.

there was something in your head to control the things you say. (Joey nods his agreement.)

Fine! All right, I’ll do it. But hey! You guys have to be at the next table so you can stop me if I y’know, start to say something stupid.


Wha-, oh, quit it.

Oh my God.

Well, Monica keeps changin' the channel.

Oh that's great, why don't you tell mommy on me.


You guys, Joey just saw Janice kissing her ex-husband.

Well, I was thinking about that and I, I think the best way would be, to not.


(covering his eyes) Dude! That's my sister! (She shows the rest of the gang.)


She went on one of those spray-on tan places.

Eh, you got a spray-on tan?


They went in together. So sorry.


You don’t need to fill these silences.

Chandler, that’s like your fourth cup of coffee!

chandler was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


I think so.

Well, then, maybe it's time we all moved on.

Yeah, but, Ross, I mean, you're not okay with it.

No, but I wanna be. Hey, I will be. Besides, I'm with Charlie,   right? Oh my god, I'm still with Charlie, aren't I? I mean, she didn't   see the dance, did she?

No, no, no, no, that was - that was just for me. Are you sure   about this?

Yeah, I'm sure.


I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?

Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.

So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight?

ross addressed rachel, not chandler (ground truth)


Like only if the queen comes?

Maybe not even then. (Joey walks in)

Hey! I did it. I called my producer. I told him I had   a family emergency, he totally bought it. Thanks for teaching me how to lie   Pheebs.


(he takes a baby blue beret out of a shopping box and puts it on) How does this look?

Well, it's a little low... pick up a little... (Ross picks it up) a little bit more... (he picks it up again) a little bit more... (he takes it off) There you go! (pause) Now throw it away!


(sarcastic) Oh please, can’t I come to your special, magical cabin?

Why would you even want to come Ross? You’re a horrible skier.

Oh-oh, hitting me where it hurts, my ski skills.

Oh, I’m sorry, were you speaking to me or sleeping with someone else?

We were on a break!

on your answering machine!


Yeah, it is the best.

I mean what if this keeps happening? Y'know, they'll-they'll be outside smoking, making all the decisions and I'll just be up in my office breathing my stupid clean air, y'know? And then when the day comes when Kim wants to promote one of us, who do you think she's gonna pick? Me or Smokey Smokerson?


Hey, look, you’re in trouble either way! Okay? If she comes back and sees me locked to this instead of the chair, she’s gonna know you were in here. So you might as well just let me go.

What if I clean your bathroom for a month?

It still wouldn’t be clean. (Rachel makes an ‘Eww, disgusting!’ face) All I want is my freedom.

Foot rubs for a month!

I’ll take all of your photos and put them into photo albums!

Freedom! I want my freedom! Why won’t you here me?! (Opens the door) Sophie, help me! Help me!! (Sophie stands up)


Do you know what I was thinkin’?

Nothing, I just like to go like this. (Does it again.)


She’s just doing her job!

(sitting at the kitchen table with his back to the TV) You sick bastards!

Oh, it’s a tattoo! That’s weird, Phoebe doesn’t… Wait that’s Ursula! That’s not Phoebe that is Ursula!

rachel addressed phoebe, not chandler (ground truth)


I’m a lady Monica, I don’t kiss and tell. But this hickey speaks for itself. (She starts to open up her blouse.)

Okay-okay, I got it. I got it.

I just like him so much that I just feel like I’ve had 10 drinks today and I’ve only had six.

Oh, I haven’t had that feeling since I first started going out with Chandler. Wow, I’m never gonna have that feeling again am I?

You sound like a guy.


He probably wants you back because you're right for the job.

Maybe. I-I don't know—Oh God, how could I be so stupid?!


Joey! Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?

No. no... eh... she went shopping with Rachel. Why? What's up?


I just—I can’t believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you.


Ohh, whoa God! Storage rooms give me the creeps! Monica, come on please hurry up honey! Please?

Rachel, if you want the little round waffles, you gotta have to wait until I find the little waffle iron.

All right. (Looking through a box.) Op, here it is! Right underneath the can of-of bug bomb. I wonder if the best place to put something that cooks food is underneath the can of poison?


Monica, I want to become (pause) the Ultimate Fighting Champion.

You wanna what?!

I want to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion! It’s the most intense physical competition in the world, it’s banned in 49 states!

What are you talking about?

Okay, my trainer, Ho Chi, is teaching me a combination of Gee Koon Doe and Brazilian street fighting, I’ve even had my own octagon training ring designed.


Joey, do you have peanut butter on the back of your head?

(Touches the back of his head and licks his fingers) Oh man! I thought I got it all!

I was making a peanut butter smoothy, right?

And I couldn't find this little plastic thing (holds up plastic thing) that goes on top of the blender...and I thought...well... how important can that be, right...? Turns out very!

What...how is it going with Drake?

Oh...I don't think it's going very well...

What...that scene I saw was so good!

Well, I'm feeling really insecure about the one we are shooting tomorrow...


I'm sorry, I'll give it back to you.

No-no! No! I mean it's gonna be all smelling like Monica!

monica was addressed by joey and spoke (ground truth)


Okay, what do you have a fear of if you suffer from this phobia, Tris…Holy cow, that’s a big word. Trisc… Seriously look at this thing. Chandler, how do you say that?

Let me see that.


Yeah! I wrote Emma a song.


Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out!

Oh, please, you wanted to get caught. (Waves the receipt)

That is not true!

Oh, so you just sort of happened to leave it in here?

Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?


Not yet, no. (Drops his hand and moves back.)


I don't know you guys.

All right fine, don't do anything, just sit here and talk to us, meanwhile she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts thinking 'Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.'

And before you know it, she's with him. And you'll be all, 'Ohh, man!' And he'll be all, 'Yes!' And us, we'll be like, 'Wh-whoa, dude.' And pretty soon you'll be like, (sadly) 'Hhiii,' and, and, and, 'I can't go, Rachel and Mark might be there.' And we'll be like, 'Man get over it, it's been four years!!'

joey addressed mark, not chandler (ground truth)


Monica! This is the Men's room! (Pause) Isn't it?

Yes it is. You see I've always found the men's bathroom very sexual. Haven't you?

No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out. Monica, this is getting ridiculous!


(slides the juice across the counter which Joey catches) What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.

I know, but, I was the best, you know? I liked being the best. (He downs the glass of juice in one swig.) I don't know. Maybe I should just get outta the game. They need guys up in housewares to serve cheese.

(pours more and slides the refill to Joey) All right, say you do that. You know sooner or later somebody's gonna come along that slices a better cheddar. And then where're you gonna run?

Yeah I guess you're right.

You're damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie.


And so I had a lot of work to do so Ross, nice guy that he is, offered to help me out. And then we had a little wine, we got to talking, and the next thing you know out of nowhere Ross comes on to me.

(laughs) Umm that’s…that’s a little misleading.


Yeah, maybe if you’re in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?

ross was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


Okay, you guys spend waaaay too much time together. (Goes back inside and shuts the door)

Okay, I'm scum, I'm scum.

Ross, how could you let this happen?

I don't know, God, I... well, it's not like she's a regular mom, y'know? She's, she's sexy, she's...

You don't think my mom's sexy?

Well... not in the same way...

I'll have you know that Gloria Tribbiani was a handsome woman in her day, alright? You think it's easy giving birth to seven children?


Or maybe it's because this guy's doing so good they wanna put more people on it. (Chandler pours some juice in a glass.) You should see this guy, Chandler, he goes through two bottles a day.


I need something sweet.

Does anyone wanna watch TV?

Monica your remote doesn't work.

monica was addressed by phoebe and spoke (ground truth)


Of course you did Ross, you would date a gorilla if it called you Indiana Jones!

Did you get like a fresh batch of pregnancy hormones today?!

No! It’s just that, Kate bothered me.

Why? What was wrong with her?


Well you sure used a large font.


Yeah, ohh! Why, damnit, why did I open my mouth? (In a girlish voice) I have a crush on you; I am attracted to you. (Back to normal again) Gee, I-I know that I freaked him out


Ask them if it would be faster if we cut the baby’s face off the    penis, so we can put it on the bunny. (pause). That is a weird sentence!


Why is it sick?


If I'd known you guys were coming over, I would    have brought more pizza. (they all burst out in a thundering laugh)

Okay, okay... Chandler you... you stop it! (Monica    wipes away tears)


Because I'm in love with Monica!!

I love you too Chandler. (They kiss.)


Was that story over?

The guy left this.

(gasps) Oh my God! I know who the father is… (She walks into Monica and Chandler’s.)


Yeah. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around) Don't do the dance.


What the hell happened?!

I am so-so-so sorry. I was gonna do it! Really! But I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking, "Wow! It’s been a long time since I had… (tries to do the math in his head, but can’t) 327 + 238 dollars!"

Joey, we had a deal. That-that’s why you’re here! I’ve got to fire you!

And I gotta pay rent! Look, how-how about this? You don’t fire me, instead I stay here, I gain their trust, and they’ll start listening to all the nice things I’ve been saying about you.


Oh, I’m sorry, Ross. I’ll get it for you right now. And since I made you wait, I’ll toss in a free muffin.

Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second.

So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. But you know what we decided you are?

Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky.

So, what, you’re just, you’re just okay with being flaky?

Well, then, I’m okay with being high maintenance.

Yeah, and I am okay with being a pushover.


We're not—we're not saying anything.


Oh, I’ve been there. Yeah, I am gonna go drive my Porsche. (Starts to leave.)

Joey, you know you don’t actually have one.

Come on! What are you doing?! I’m in character! Would you talk to her! (Storms out.)


Oh wait, Ross, would you just stay and help me get dressed?

Rachel, I’ve seen you naked a million times. I ate hot fudge off you naked. Remember, I-I sucked that mini-marshmallow out of your belly button?

Yeah, but that was different. Y’know? I mean, we were, we were going out then, now I think it’s weird.

Rach, y'know I can see you naked any time I want.

rachel did not speak next (ground truth)


(answering the phone) Hello? (Listens) Hey Joey!

Hey Pheebs! Listen, uh can you do me a favor? I forgot the pin number to my ATM card can, can you get it for me?

Sure! Where is it?

Uh, I scratched it on the ATM machine down on the corner.


I just—I thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love!


, and you didn't even kiss her.

I tell people secrets. It makes them like me.

Phoebe! You're sick, you shouldn't play. You should just go home, get in bed, and stay there.

monica addressed phoebe, not chandler (ground truth)


No, no, you can get one yourself. It’ll be on the house! Y'know what are big sisters for?

No, no, no, I wouldn’t do you myself, I mean that would be weird. Yeah, no, I’ll get one of the other girls to do it. Oh, this will be so much fun! Hey! Are you excited?


Ross hasn’t worked at the museum for a year!

Monica and Chandler are living together!


Nice shoes, huh? (He wiggles his foot and the bells tinkle)


Then, I don't get it.


Yeah, see.. you took mine. Chandler, what

chandler was addressed by ross and spoke (ground truth)


Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, (Starts to whine like a baby and Joey just glares at him.)

That's great. Listen, wouldn't it be great though if I got to play Ben's dad?

Joey, you look nothing like Ben.

I look more like him than you do! (He winks at Carol.)


Okay, listen I am not a pervert!

That’s like the pervert motto! Yeah! Yeah! They have you raise your right hand, put your left hand down your pants, and repeat that!


Yeah. Candy’s the mother, Cookie’s the daughter. The father’s also Cookie. Why am I friends with these people?

(entering with something behind her back) Phoebe, c’mere. I want to show you something in the bathroom.

Oh, Monica, grow up!

Nothing. Just something I want to get Phoebe’s opinion on for Valentine’s Day.

phoebe did not speak next (ground truth)


Yes, it was horrible. She cried. I cried. She threw things, they hit me. Anyway,I did the right thing.


Oh really? Like what Monica?

Y’know she has 147,000 pairs of boots…

Oh yeah, good start Mon.

She lets you borrow them.

Yeah and you stretch ‘em out with your big old clown feet.

monica did not speak next (ground truth)


Ross! You gotta stop! Okay?! You can’t just stare through the peep hole for three hours! You’re gonna get peep eye!

I knew it! I knew it! I always knew she liked him! Y'know, she’d say no, but here we are! Right? We just broke up, first thing she does!

Hey, it’s been like three weeks!

You slept with somebody three hours after you thought you broke up. I mean bullets have left guns slower!

Here they come, here they come. Oh-ho, if she kisses him goodnight, I’m gonna kill myself, I swear. I can’t, I can’t watch this. (turns away, then quickly turns to look again) Come on, date over! Date over! Uh-oh, here we go, she’s going in.

She’s going in. Wait! He’s going in! He’s going in!! The door’s closed! I, I can’t see anything but the door closed!!

And the inventor of the door rests happily in his grave.

Okay, I have to do something. I mean, I have, I have to stop it!

chandler did not speak next (ground truth)


I—never borrowed your Walkman.

Well, then I lost it. You buy me one!


of me playing rugby with him was like hilarious. So I’m gonna show her how tough I really am!

(starts laughing, Ross stares at her) I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You’re right, you are a tough guy. You’re the toughest palaeontologist I know.


Uh, listen I gotta double check for tickets tonight. Who-who got what?

I need two. I’m bringing Pete. My boyfriend. I have a boyfriend now!

Two it is. Ross, how about you?

Uh, yeah, I ah, I also need two.


...Ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven. See,

You got waaaay too much free time.


(sarcastically shocked) Really?! Joe? What would you do if you were in Ross’s situation?


Oh, come on! Last night I was finishing off a pizza and she said (aping    Amy badly) "Uoh oh oh, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips!"    I don’t need that kind of talk in my house!

Well Joey, uhm look, I know that she’s difficult, but I think    it’s really good that she’s here.

Yeah, Monica made us!

Well, uhm... whatever, I have really appreciated it, 'cause I don’t    think I would be the person that I am today if it wasn’t for you guys.    See, I wanna help Amy the way you guys helped me. And I know it’s gonna    take patience, but that’s ok.


I’d love that. I would loooove… (Carol goes to make the coffee and she sits down.) So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little...

(from the kitchen) Rach, do you want some sugar in your coffee?

Yes oh—(To Ben)—Do I want sugar in my coffee? (Ben nods no.) No, just some milk would be good Carol. Thanks. (To Ben) Okay, do you remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?


All right. Uhh, international.

Oh that's mine too! (Grabs it and Ross looks at him.) I'm Italian!

Well, I guess I can check out those apartment listings, even though there's never anything in here.


Great. It was great. She’s ah, she’s great, great looking, great personality, she’s greatness.


) I was about to do some serious damage!

: Well, this must've brought back some really bad memories for you, Ross.

: Well, Ross was mugged as a kid.

: Yeah, it was pretty traumatic. I was outside St. Marc's Comics… you know, I-I-I was just there minding my own business, you know, seeing what kinda trouble spiderman got into that week-


I’m sorry, but we have to have some boundaries! My God, I’m dying.

Oh come on Ross, we’ve done it before we’ll do it again, it’ll be a nice way to bookend the pregnancy.


No, really. Really, Pheebs, you’re not gonna be the one worrying about saving for college, or yelling at them when they’re bad, y’know, or deciding to put them on Ritalin when they just won’t calm down. Y’know?

I mean, you’re the one they’re gonna come to when they wanna run away from home, and the one they talk to about sex.


I don’t know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell ‘em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.

Joey! This is not like learning to ride a horse! This is like learning to…grow a turtleneck!

I kn-I know! I know! Okay? And apparently tomorrow when I go in to meet the director I have to take off my clothes so that they can see what my body looks like.

Oh my God, what are you gonna do?!

I just have to call my agent and tell her I can’t do the part. (Gets up for the phone.)

Well, this may sound crazy, but there maybe something we could fashion.


Joey, you shouldn't lie on your résumé.

joey was addressed by ross and spoke (ground truth)


Look, they must be stopped!

I am your friend, and I am not gonna let you do this!! (Ross is now dragging Chandler and the foosball table to the door) You are surprisingly strong!


I don’t want you to see me naked!

Rachel, I’ve seen you naked a million times. I ate hot fudge off you naked. Remember, I-I sucked that mini-marshmallow out of your belly button?

rachel was addressed by ross and spoke (ground truth)


From a bullet!


Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no, that's OK, I don't need them. I'm going for fours.


Oh my God, this is great! This is so great! (to Chandler, who looks bewildered). Did you hear that?


We're not gonna have this conversation again...    Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this    huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about    losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey    looks around)

You know what it is? It's a nice place but I gotta see    I don't know if I see myself living here. Oh, oh, oh, let me see... (Joey sits    down on the couch, mimes opening a can and puts his hand down his pants) Yeah,    I could see it.

(Chandler looks around the place and his eye gets    caught by Richard's video collection) Look at these videos. You know, I mean,    who does he think he is? Magnum Force, Dirty Harry, Cool Hand Luke... Oh my    God!

There's a tape here with Monica's name on it.


Well, I brought the next best thing.


Oh! Phoebe, all babies are beautiful!

phoebe was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


You don’t need to fill these silences.

Chandler, that’s like your fourth cup of coffee!

monica addressed chandler, not gunther (ground truth)


Oh, you're not gonna tell the whole story about how your parents got divorced again are you?


Chandler, come on, you're gonna find somebody.

How do you know that? How?

I don't know, I'm just tryin' to help you out.


I don’t know. A month?


Chandler, why would you do that?

Well y’know, they only give you three letters, so after A-S-S it  is a bit of a challenge.


What, Phoebe, did you whip the potatoes? Ross needs lumps!

Oh, I'm sorry, oh, I just, I thought we could have them whipped and then add some peas and onions.

Why would we do that?

Well, 'cause then they'd be like my mom used to make them, you know, before she died.

Ok, three kinds of potatoes coming up.


Uh-huh, let's go. (they move in to kiss) Oh, wait I have gum. Okay. (they kiss rather passionately) Good, very good, firm but tender. I'd recommend you to a friend.

Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem?

Joey, you know, maybe your just not used to kissing men, maybe you just tensed up a little, maybe that's what you need to work on.

monica addressed joey, not phoebe (ground truth)


Hey, why don’t you guys go, get portraits done by a professional photographer.

That’s a good idea! I bet they have one of those wind machines! Y’know… (Does the whole hair blowing in the wind model type poses.)


Oh, hey, you guys are finally gonna get to meet Kate!

(to Chandler) And I ah, borrowed some of your cologne. I hope she likes it.

Joey, what are you doing?! It’s never gonna happen, she’s seeing somebody.

The green bottle next to the shaving cream.


Oh, would you let it go already?! You’re fine!


Oh, I'm sorry, did my back hurt your knife?

Rachel, (they go back inside) say that I'm friends with her, we spend some time together. Is that so terrible?

rachel was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


Oh hey! Hey Ross! Hey how’s it, how’s it going with you and  Mona? Are you guys still together?

Oh yeah, yeah we’re moving forward. You’ll be getting our card!

Yeah, we’re not just doing a card! Y’know, she-she also wants to  have the conversation about where the relationship is going.

I know! I know! Why do you guys need to have this conversation?! Huh? I  mean no self-respecting man would ask a woman, "So, where is this going?"


Joey told you about the leg, huh?

(to Chandler) Heard about the leg burnin’ huh?


What if they get mixed up?

Boy I would just uh, I would freak out.

Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.

What're you talking about, everybody loves Joseph.

I don't, I hate Joseph, ok. I think he's a brown-nosing suck up.

Oh yeah. Well you can't fire Joseph. You know why, 'cause he's not in your department.


Oh-oh, yeah, and did he also say that ah, some of the dialogue was corny and that he actually found it was funny and not sexy?


[in phone] So, Spock actually hugs his father?


Yeah, right Monica. I'm so sorry.

(suddenly starts issuing him out) Ah, it's an honest mistake. It could    happen to anyone. All right, see ya.

(spots the suitcase just inside the door where Chandler left it) Whoa,    whoa. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. If you just got back from Tulsa, how    did your suitcase beat you here?

chandler was addressed by joey and spoke (ground truth)


Wow, hello! You look great!

Thank you! I know, though.

You see this, this is a person who is ready to go. Phoebe you, oh, you are my star.

phoebe was addressed by ross and spoke (ground truth)


For the ride.

Yeah, like in a cab...

Monica, come on now. Let's go, baby coming.

I can't belive it, I'm gonna be an aunt. I'm gonna have like a nephew.


Thanks. (Joey’s still patting the burn spot) I think you got it!

(entering) Chandler!! You have the best taste in men!

Well, like father, like son.

Patrick and I had such a great time last night! I mean I think this could maybe turn into something serious.


No, Beth doesn’t die, she doesn’t die. Does she Rachel?

No. She doesn’t die.


All right now, so? What do you think?


Oh, come on. What was with that whole Black Bart speech? (mimicking) "When I play poker, I'm not a nice guy!"

No, I don't think so, see Ross, because I think you love her.

Um.... no. See, I might've had feelings for her at one time—not any more. I just—I...

Marcel! Where are you going with that disc?

You are not putting that on again! Marcel, OK—if you press that button, you are in very, very big trouble.


Yeah, maybe if you’re in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?

No but…but still you can’t possibly do this alone.


What's it sound like? It's a guy with my identical hands! It was incredible! Chandler, the dealer's hands were exactly like me! It-it was like looking at my hands in a mirror!

Are you sure you weren't (pause) looking at your hands in a mirror?

Don’t you see what this means?! I can forget about that stupid movie. I'm gonna be a millionaire!


That he doesn't exist.

So Chandler, have you heard about Monica's secret boyfriend?

Really?! That's what you heard? (To Monica) You said that?


Would you get that please? People have been calling to congratulate me all day.

(On the phone) Hello? No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his wife. Yeah, well, it came as quite a shock to me too. I guess I should have known. Yeah, I mean, he just kept making me watch Moulin Rouge.


A tattoo? Why, why would you want to do that? [to Rachel] Hi.

Hi. Well hey, you don't - you don't think they're kind of cool?


Yeah, I didn't throw any of that out..

I thought I heard voices! Hi Charlie! (Kisses her.) Hi Joey.   (Hugs him.) And.. Oh! You're gonna have to introduce me to your new   girlfriend. (Laughs.) I'm just kidding, I know Rachel, I know. (He   squeezes her hand.) Come, please come in. Come in.

ross addressed rachel, not joey (ground truth)


How? I guess I could break down your door.

Yeah! Do that!

And-and you won’t blame us for any damage? (Gives Phoebe a thumbs up.)

Oh hey hi, he’s doing it. He’s breaking down the door. (The chair breaks in half.) Okay, we’re in. (She hangs up the phone.)


It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert...Look talk to Monica, she's on the food committee.

monica was addressed by chandler and spoke (ground truth)


(to the new Hugsy) You're not the same!

You know, it's a lot less surprising to do that after I've buzzed you into the building.


Two it is. Ross, how about you?

Uh, yeah, I ah, I also need two.


See? Ben doesn't think you're a loser, he thinks you're a cowboy! Now that's something.

That really is something; that's really cool.


I did that too! They wouldn’t give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again they’d call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them I’m missing a ring!"

So what, Joey? Wh-wh-what? What are you telling me? That there’s nothing we can do? Well, how could this happen?!

Look Ross, I am so-so sorry. I-I-I…


Wow! (Tearing up) Well, uh… Hey! I’m really happy for you guys! Congratulations! (Kisses Monica on the cheek) See you later. (Starts for the door on the verge of tears as Monica stops him.)

Wait! Joey! Joey! Are you okay?!

Yeah, I gotta go! I got an acting job. (Turns towards the door, pauses, and turns back.) Like you’d believe that. This sucks!


Ten years I've been waiting for a break like this Chandler, ten years! I mean, Daysof Our Lives. That's actually on television.


Whose little ball of paper is this?!

Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, and then I realised I didn't need it, so I balled it up and... (sees that Monica is glaring at him) ...now I wish I was dead.


...and these come in the shapes of your favourite Christmas characters, Santa, Rudolph, and Baby Jesus.

All right, I’ll take a box of the cream filled Jesus’s.


And on your anniversary, for shame!

What's going on?

Chandler was hitting on the hot delivery girl!

I was not and oh God, shh!

Well I'm sorry but you were! Okay? And besides if anyone should be hitting on her it's the guy who's single, the guy that who-who-who can do something about it.


Oh my God Chandler! I can’t believe it!

Why do they put so much steam in there?!

Why? Okay? Why? Wh-wh-why did that have to happen?


He shot a bird!

Oh that is over!


Just admit it Chandler, you have no backhand.

Excuse me little one, I have a very solid backhand.


Oh Ross, honey you gotta stop torturing yourself!

Look I've already looked at like a thousand apartments this month and none of them even compares to that one!

Y'know what you should do?

You should find out what his hobbies are and then use that to bond with him. Yeah! Like if I would strike up a conversation about say umm, sandwiches. Or uh, or my underwear.


(to the new Hugsy) You're not the same!


Uh-huh, doing it. Doing it. Phone doing it.

Oh! Oh, I can't believe it! I mean I think it's great! For him. She might be able to do better.


Well, I am drinking lots of cups of coffee because I’m exhausted! Because Joey started snoring!

(proudly) Oh, you should here me.

It’s not something to be proud of, okay? You have to go to a sleep clinic!

Look, I told ya, I’m not going to any clinic! I don’t have a problem, you’re the one with the problem! You should go to a "Quit being a baby and leave me alone" clinic!


And on your anniversary, for shame!

What's going on?


Nice, nice. Hey I got somethin' for you. [hands Chandler an envelope.


Give it to me!

I'll go in there.

Phoebe come here

Damn you Monica Geller hyphen Bing!


Chandler, I can't be playing games, Ross is gonna be home soon. And I have to write five whole pages if I'm gonna stick to his schedule.

Well, so, play for the next 30 minutes and then write until he gets home.


No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is wearing)

Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed?

Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out.

Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket.


A bunch of stuff. And the worst one... he wants me    to get rid of Gladys.

Who's Gladys? (Phoebe shows her a horrific painting    with a half-a-body girl dummy coming out of the frame. Monica's frightened and    she gasps.) Oh! What a tragic loss!

to give her up. Oh,   I know!! Oh, you should take her!

(faking happiness) Well, I-I-I-I... I don't know...


Of course you did Ross, you would date a gorilla if it called you Indiana Jones!

Did you get like a fresh batch of pregnancy hormones today?!

No! It’s just that, Kate bothered me.

Why? What was wrong with her?

There was nothing wrong with her! All right? She was perfectly lovely!


Great! Thanks! You’re gonna love her so much. And—Oh, she’s the smartest of all the Tribbiani children. Hey, y’know the S.A.T’s?

Hey Ross! Doesn’t Ben go to the Smithfield Day School?

Fine! No more dinosaur stuff! Can I talk about fossils? (Joey is about to sit down and hears this so instead he groans and exits.)


Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!


Well uh…I think I want to take Chandler.

You really want to take me?

Yeah! Yeah! I mean I’m sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but y’know Chandler always supported my career. He’s paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.

So you’re never actually going to pay me back?


Rachel Karen Green, where's the other earring?!

Tell her to wear her own earrings.


Hey, you have got to try this cheesecake.

Oh, y’know I'm not that much of a sweet tooth. I—(Chandler puts a forkful of the cheesecake in her mouth.)—Wow. My God, so creamy. Oh my God, this is the best cheesecake I have ever had. Where did you get this? (She reaches over to look at the label on the box.)

(nervously) It was at the front door. When I got home. Somebody sent it to us.

Chandler, this is not addressed to you. This is addressed to Mrs. Braverman downstairs. (Gasping) Thief.

I—no! I didn't read the box before I opened it. And you can't return a box after you've opened the box.

Because it's too delicious.

Chandler, you stole this cheesecake. That is wrong.


So uh listen, I think I’m gonna take off now. (Starts to get up.)


And you're gonna make them all disappear.


Phoebe, it’s okay. I like living with Joey.

Are you sure?


Yeah. You’re just gonna knock on his door and change his life forever. You’re like Ed McMahon except without the big check, or the raw sexual magnetism.


I cannot believe that you didn’t tell me that we are still married!!


(entering) Look, I really need some help, okay? Why? Why did I have to speak in a British accent?! What do I do?


Who? Two divorces and Joey?!

She's right y'know.

Y'know what? Y'know when I said that I want you to deal with this relationship stuff all on your own? Well, you're not ready for that.


Oh! So you're driving up to Connecticut?


Oh, let me see! (grabs picture) Oh, God, is he just the sweetest thing? You must just want to kiss him all over!

(quietly) That would be nice.

Nothing, just a little extra air in my mouth. Pffft. Pffffffft. (walks over to where Joey is seated)

Hey, Chan, can you help me out here? I promise I'll pay you back.

Oh, yeah, right, OK... inlcuding the waffles last week, you now owe me... 17 jillion dollars.

I will, really. I'll pay you back this time.

(sigh)... And where's this money coming from? (gives money to Joey)


Thunder being stolen!!

time thing. It doesn’t even matter!


Monica, betting the apartment, I don’t know about this.

monica was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


Then you’re not invited. (Starts for the door again.)

All right fine! You’re not invited to the party we’re gonna have either.

The baby shower for Phoebe!

I can’t believe I’m gonna have a party! This is so great! (Really excited) A party! (Really, really excited) Yay!! (Suddenly, she starts crying and Rachel moves to comfort her.) I don’t know why.


Yeah! (to Sandy) Excuse me... (She walks to the kitchen    with Ross and sighs)

Do you realise that man has cried in our apartment three    times...? Huh? I haven't cried that many times since I moved in.

(picks up a cookie) Okay, okay, see... that... that    is the problem. He is too sensitive. (takes a bite from the cookie)

What...? Too sensitive to take care of our baby?

(speaking with his mouth full) Yeah, I mean, all things    that guy... (looks at the cookie) These are amazing!

rachel did not speak next (ground truth)


Hey Ross, is uh, is Staten Island really an island?

(he catches the ball and pauses, staring at Joey in disbelief) Also an island.

Hey, what time is it?

Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour?

Are you serious?!

Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it.

Wow! We are pretty good at this! Hey! We totally forgot about lunch!


Wow! Wow! And it’s definitely all gone? There’s nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?

I don’t know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell ‘em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.

Joey! This is not like learning to ride a horse! This is like learning to…grow a turtleneck!

I kn-I know! I know! Okay? And apparently tomorrow when I go in to meet the director I have to take off my clothes so that they can see what my body looks like.

Oh my God, what are you gonna do?!

I just have to call my agent and tell her I can’t do the part. (Gets up for the phone.)

Well, this may sound crazy, but there maybe something we could fashion.

Well I’m not sure yet, but umm of the top of my head I’m thinking double sided tape and some sort of luncheon meat.


Yeah, y'know what? I'm-I'm gonna meet you upstairs in a minute.

No! Rachel, you didn't find anyone so you can't tell him.


(reading the ad) Stunning entertainment center. Fine, (pause) fine Italian craftsmanship. (Joey is very proud of himself)

Hey, the ad alone cost 300 bucks!

All right look, I’m changing it to 50 bucks, or your best offer.


She is so hot!


What's wrong? What's wrong? You're married that's what's wrong.


Yeah. What are we getting?

(to Chandler) Anything but stew.

All right so, Chandler, from now on, don’t give your boss a chance to get you. Y'know just ah, don’t turn your back to him.

ross addressed chandler, not joey (ground truth)


This is so cool!

, you must be very proud!

Chandler, she doesn't understand a word of English.

joey addressed chandler, not phoebe (ground truth)


Mail call, Rachel Green, bunk seven.

Thank you. (Examines it) Oh, cool! Free sample of coffee!

Oh good! 'Cause where else would we get any?

What is it?

Country club newsletter. My mother sends me the engagement notices for 'inspiration.' Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Barry and Mindy!


We’ll try to keep it down.


Well, I mean it’s not all bad. I’m learning to appreciate the uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky.

The sky’s blue Ross and I had sex yesterday!

Please, help me! I have a date tonight. It has to go well okay—I’m scared for my health!

Okay. Okay. Umm…Ooh! Oh-oh, I got something. It’s this story I came up with, very romantic. I swear any woman that hears it; they’re like putty.


Yeah, he’s really excited about it too, he even recorded show times on his answering machine.

Rach, it’s, it’s ah, it’s not that we don’t want to, really. (quietly) Are we talking models in their underwear?

(He turns around to Chandler looking for approval to go with Rachel, Chandler mouths ‘Come on!’) (turning back to Rachel) Ross, did ask us first, and we set that night aside.

rachel was addressed by joey and spoke (ground truth)


No! No, no-no-no Joey he doesn’t want to buy my baby! I made that up!

And you couldn’t think of anything else?!


Okay, look, we have nineteen minutes. Okay, Chandler, I want you to go and change! Okay. And then, when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. Okay. Okay.

All right! Fine! I'm going. But when I get back it's chair sitting, and I'm the guy who's....sitting in a chair! (leaves)

No, no, no, no, no, no, not out of that, not out of clothes.


: I'm sorry I have friends outside the six of us.

) Because Phoebe used to mug people.

: Well, I'm not proud of it, but, you know… sometimes when I was living on the street and I needed money for food and stuff I…

: Well, ok, I wasn't rich like you guys, ok, I didn't eat gold and have a flying pony… I had a hard life, my mother was killed by a drug dealer…


I can't believe you're dressing up for him. I mean, you're just, you're setting yourself up all over again.

OK, no. For your information I'm going to see him so I can put all those feeling behind me. OK, and the reason I'm dressed like this is because I think it's nice to look nice for your gay husband.


Oh, you're not gonna tell the whole story about how your parents got divorced again are you?

Oh God, no.

Oh, come on! I wanna hear it! It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without Chandler bumming us out!

It's a tradition, like the parade. If the parade decided it was gay, moved out, and abandoned its entire family.


No, we only went out once.


(reading the ad) Stunning entertainment center. Fine, (pause) fine Italian craftsmanship. (Joey is very proud of himself)

joey was addressed by chandler and spoke (ground truth)


Nothing. Ok, everything. I think we're calling off the wedding.

You're still gonna pay me, right? Or something a little less selfish.


Okay fine, I did. But I didn’t see anything, I swear.

Shame on you! Ugly baby judges you!

Okay, but Ross just listen to me…

No, no, no, no! Don’t tell me! I don’t want to know!

But I couldn’t even if I wanted to, because I don’t know! I  swear; I didn’t see anything, and I don’t want to know! It was just a momentary  lapse.

Momentary lapse. Don’t-don’t you have any self-control?

(holding stomach) Okay, a couple months late on the lecture, Ross.


uhu uhu, check this out. (Chandler sits down and looks at laptop screen)

chandler was addressed by ross and spoke (ground truth)


Is it me, or have the greetings gone downhill around here?

(goes to Chandler) Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair.

phoebe was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


(doing a little dance) Hey Ross, look what I've got going here.

ross was addressed by chandler and spoke (ground truth)


Yeah, we know, but there's a baby suckin' on it.

This is my son having lunch, ok? It's gonna happen a lot, so you'd better get used to it. Now if you have any problem with it, if you're uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carol's fine with it, now come on.


) Joey! You never gonna believe it: she called.

: I don't know, but it sounds great.

: Your agent called. You got that audition.


Yeah, well you promised Barry, you'd marry him. (Rachel glares at her, and she retreats to safety between Richard's legs)


Oh-oh, yeah, and did he also say that ah, some of the dialogue was corny and that he actually found it was funny and not sexy?


No, actually I thought about it when, when we were going out. It’s how I imagined I uh, I would ask you to marry me.

Well, that would’ve been very hard to say no too.

It’s a good thing I didn’t do it, because it sounds like it would’ve been a very expensive wedding. (Rachel laughs) Okay, good night

I will think about it.


No! Phoebe, it’s not Gunther.

Thank God, ‘cause that hair on a baby…

Phoebe the father is not here okay? I haven’t told him yet and I don’t think I can tell him at all now!

phoebe did not speak next (ground truth)


(in a serious, businesslike tone) Rachel, could I see you for a moment?

you would break up with her!

I did break up with her! She just took it really, really well!

And the fact that you were jeopardising my career never entered your mind?!

It did enter my mind! But then something happened that made it, shoot right out.


Thanks for the help, problem solved. (Wipes his hands.)


And you're thinking of taking it? (Pause) So before   you said being me with me was more important than any job, but I guess now   it's old job, (Raises his hand) me, (Raises his hand) new job.

I'm gonna miss this hand! Okay I know it's a lot   to ask, but oh my God Chandler, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

What happened to 'you can't live without me four   days a week'?

Well, if you really think about it, I mean four days   is not that long. I mean, I see you Monday before you go to work, and I see   you Thursday when you get back, and I always work late on Tuesdays, so really   if you think about it, it's really just one day. And well, if we can't make   it one day, we've got real problems my friend.

I think you should take the job.

monica did not speak next (ground truth)


Chandler! He’s your father; he should be at the wedding.

I don’t even know the man. Okay? We’re not the close. I haven’t seen him in years.

Well what are you gonna do when he finds out he wasn’t even asked?!

Well he doesn’t have to know! It’s not like we run in the same circles. I hang out with you guys, and he stars in a drag show in Vegas.


(forcing the door open) Come on, Rachel, come on! Talk to me! Please!!

I can’t talk to you. I can’t even look at you right now!


Hey! Oh Joey, honey listen, thank you for talking to my yesterday about that thing with my boss. That really meant a lot.

Not a problem. Oh, and just so you know, that guy’s not going to be bothering you about that baby thing anymore.

Let’s just say I took care of it.

Don’t worry! Don’t worry. I just told him, very nicely, "You don’t go buying people’s babies, so back off!!"


Phoebe, it's not about quantity.

Well...it's not about quality.

Oh really, you want to talk about quality? Have you heard of a key? It's what some people sing in.

Well at least all my songs don't taste like garlic. Yeah, there are other ingredients Monica.

Ok, so that's what we're doing. You know, when I'm in the coffee house bopping along to one of your songs, I'm wearing ear plugs.

Ear plugs, or cloves of garlic?

You know what? I take back what I said before. You keep playing at the restaurant, because with your music driving people inside, my bar sales are going up like crazy.

What are people having, the garlic Martini?


(grunting) Oh my… How much do you weigh Ross?!

I prefer not to answer that right now, I’m still carrying a little holiday weight.

Y’know, when we talked about face to face, I don’t think we thought it all the way through.


Okay, look, I’m gonna have to ask you all to leave.

Look, forget it. We tried, but Phase Three is a lost cause, Okay? Those strippers were insanely hot, and I couldn’t picture myself with any of them. (Sits back in disgust.)

They really were pretty, weren’t they? (Rachel and Phoebe both agree)

See, I don’t know, for me it would have to Chantal.

chandler did not speak next (ground truth)


If you wanna call that a reason.

[singing to the tune of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood] Who's thebitterest man in the living room, the bitterest man in the living room? Hi, neighbor.

Ross, I thought you were over this.

Look, that has nothing to do with this, ok? She's my ex-wife. If she weremarrying a guy, none of you'd expect me to be there.


Not that, this, US. Oh my God, Ross, you-re, you're, it's jus-, you-, ever sin- you been here.

Ow, ow, OK. Alright, alright, Mon, Mon, you've gone ultrasonic again, alright.

I just can't stand you being here all the time.

Why, why, why can't you stand me being here? I don't, I, we're just, ya know, we're just havin' fun.


Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, let’s talk about it!! How was she?

ross was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


Well, what’d you do?

I did it anyway.

Phoebe! Come on! Let’s go! (Knocks on her door.) Come on! (Phoebe enters with guitar and not ready to go.) Why aren’t you dressed yet?!

monica addressed phoebe, not chandler (ground truth)


So ah, Phoebe, how was your date?


Chandler? Can you give me a hand? (Grabs her jacket)

Sure, and Joey; do not let Ross look at any of the maps or the globe in your apartment.


Uh, four, a boy, twin girls and another boy.

What else did you think about?

Well, stuff like where’d we live, y’know? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Y’know, we could have a cat that had a bell on it’s collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, we’d have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.


Yeah, I had a date with this guy, and I swear to God, he is her other half.


It's a…tarantula! (Joey almost falls down from his drum-stool jumping up) Oh! God! Rachel, look, I'm sorry. What was I thinking giving Joey this big, gross, scary spider in such a poorly constructed cage?

What are you talking about? I love them! (Looks into the cage) Yeah, I had a tarantula when I was a kid. But it-it died, because my cat ate it. And then, then my cat died. But Joey, isn't this cool?


Yeah, you like that baby? (Monica bursts in followed by Chandler.) May we help you?

I just wanted to say that I hope you do have sex tonight and I hope that you guys get back together, but I must warn you, the night that you announce your engagement I’m going to announce that I’m pregnant!

All right Monica, do you want to know why I was with Ross tonight?!


I’m sick of Japanese. We’re not going there.

All right, wherever you wanna go is cool.

(showing the Playboy magazine to Gunther) Oh, hey, Gunther, check this out.

ross addressed gunther, not monica (ground truth)


Look guys, when I’m with her it’s-it’s-it’s like she brings this-this-this great side out of me. I mean I-I-I love her, y’know?


Phoebe, I did not have sex.

This pregnancy is throwing me all off.

Oh right, maybe I’ll just go home.


(With Big Eyes.) All right, you’re right. I’ll talk to her.


So, uh, why did you have to turn it down?

Because I don't have the money or the equipment to handle something that big on such short notice. I mean there's no way.


So, did he get on one knee, did he have a speech prepared,    or (in a tender way) did he cry? (the guys look at him) Yeah, big surprise,    I like proposals!


All right. Well listen, if you see Joey will you just tell him uh…tell him I miss him. (Exits and Joey enters.)

Yeah, a naked bagel game? (Picks up his dropped bagel.) (To Chandler) Dude, I don’t know. That’s a pretty small hole.


Joey, speed it up!

joey was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


You're gonna put on sweats and clean, aren't you?

It's gonna be so hot! (She kisses him.)

Thanks. (Joey and Chandler exit to the hall. Joey pulls out the tickets    and hands one to Chandler.) Here's your ticket.

chandler was addressed by joey and spoke (ground truth)


there was something in your head to control the things you say. (Joey nods his agreement.)

Fine! All right, I’ll do it. But hey! You guys have to be at the next table so you can stop me if I y’know, start to say something stupid.


What if I smack my head on the concrete?

Well, I’m gonna lie to you Joey, it’s a possibility.

(looks at the ground and at Ross) I don’t know Ross! I-I tell you what, let’s flip to see who does it, okay? You-you call it in the air, all right?

Oh, all right. (Joey flips the coin.) Tails! (The coin bounces off of the landing above them and falls to the ground.) Can you-can you see what it is?


uhu uhu, check this out. (Chandler sits down and looks at laptop screen)

Huh! So that's what I would look like if I worked out... and was being serviced by a policeman. You're not actually going to send these out are ya?

Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. (silence) Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!?

No, come on, you know that's not true.

What are you talking about? You get sixty responses just for coming out of the closet! I didn't get one response! And I'm dead!

Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dead community.


What the hell is this?! What, did you actually thought it would make me feel better to give me stuff that I can’t use for another two months?! This sucks! All right, what’s my next present?!


Hey, y’know what and if you’re looking for a place? I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.


Ross, you got that for free from the museum gift shop.

No!! Y'know-y'know don’t do me any favours. In fact, where, where’s the rest of my stuff?! Huh? Like-like my umm, (picks up a book) Hey, this book is mine!! And-and-and, and that T-shirt you sleep in? I’d like that back too. Yes, I do.

You know how much I love that T-shirt! You never even where that T-shirt!

Oh, you are a petty man. You are a petty, petty....

You are so just doing this out of spite.

I’m-I’m gonna wear this all the time! I love this shirt!! (he kisses the shirt)

You have not worn that T-shirt since you were 15!! It doesn’t even fit you anymore!


All right now, so? What do you think?

I don’t know. Is it crazy?


(Flipping through bunch of folders as Chandler enters from bathroom) Okay, I have looked through a bunch of career guides,  photocopied and highlighted key passages and put them into alphabetical folders so you can make an informed decision.

How long was I in there?

Okay. Let us start with the A's. Advertising.

Wait. Advertising! That's a great idea!

Don't you want to look through the rest?


Hey, save us some pizza. [they go off to Rachel's room]


Phoebe, come on, I don't wanna waste it! It would be like throwing    away a hundred bucks!

, ok? It's about... it's    about corporate greed destroying our hearts and leaving us... the hollow shells.


Ross good, I'm uh glad you're here. I wanna talk to you about something.

Wow, uh, Joey that's-that's great. Thanks man.

That's it? You're-you're gonna let me do this?! This-this is my career we're talking about here!

I just said that so you wouldn't let Ben do it! Look Ross, if anyone should step aside it should be Ben!


You know what, you guys? It's their first time, why don't we just forget about the money, alright?

Hell no, we'll pay!

OK, Monica? I had another answer all ready.

phoebe addressed monica, not joey (ground truth)


Uh, no, I got to see Donald Trump waiting for an elevator.

Hey, you're back too!

Yeah. Umm, Chandler can I talk to you outside for a second?

Well, maybe it was the kind of food that tasted good at first but then made everybody vomit and have diarrhea.


Skidmark’s still got a way with the ladies.


(smiling from ear to ear) Well, Gladys say hello to    your new home! (she holds out the 'painting')


I’ve said it! Okay?! But it’s over Joey!

I want to do it again.

do it again.

Fine! Do you want something to drink?

Sure, what do you got?


Ross! Stop that!

Ahh, sorry, nothing you can do about it. It’s one of my ah, rights as the ex-boyfriend. (closes his eyes again) Oop, oh yeah!

Stop it! Cut it out! Cut it out!

Okay, okay, I’m sorry, it will never happen... (closes eyes) Uh-oh! Wait a minute! Wait-wait, now there are a hundred of you and I’m the king.

Come on, would you grow up? It’s no big deal.

All right. (She starts to take off her robe) Fine.

O-kay!! See what you did, I’m gonna be doing it by myself now. Okay?


What is it doing here?

Well, I'm watching it for some friends who went out of town. Wait. (She bends down, picks up the dog, and waves with one of its paws) Hello, my name is Clunkers. May I please stay with you nice people?


I know, and with the baby coming?


Oh Ross, honey you gotta stop torturing yourself!


Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in college and he blamed it on me!


(goes to Chandler) Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair.

Are you serious?


I know her! I bought homemade soap from her at a Dead show!

rachel did not speak next (ground truth)


No, no, no... why, because it might get weird for everyone else? Who cares about them. This is about us. Look, I-I've been in love with you since, like, the ninth grade.

Ross, you're like my best friend.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What makes you think we're gonna break up?


I don't want to.

Joey, honey, they don't know what they're talking about.

rachel addressed joey, not ross (ground truth)


I know, I know. I went a little crazy.

A little? Your place looks like page 72 of the catalogue. Oh look at that! The ornamental bird cage! Large!

(sees Ross) Oh Ross no. Be careful, that is very old! Okay? Early Colonial bird merchants used to bring their birds to market in that.

ross was addressed by phoebe and spoke (ground truth)


Have you guys picked a date yet?

Oh no, not yet.


Joey! Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?

No. no... eh... she went shopping with Rachel. Why? What's up?

I'm meeting with professor Sherman about my being the keynote speaker...


What's wrong? What's wrong? You're married that's what's wrong.

She wants to meet you in person.

Hey, look, Phoebe I wanted to meet her in person too, okay, but she's married, she has a husband.

What if the husband person is the wrong guy, and you are the right guy. I mean you don't get chances like this all the time, if you don't meet her now, you're gonna be kicking yourself when your 80, which is hard to do, and that's how you break a hip.


You have no idea what a nightmare this has been. This is so hard.

Oh yeah, really? Is it Ross? Yeah? Okay, well let me make this a just a little bit easier for you.

What are you doing?


Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'.

Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?

Let's see, 1939... yeah, 24, 25?

Hey, you guys!

Well, we were just talkin’ about you guys gettin’ married and how great it is.


(smiling from ear to ear) Well, Gladys say hello to    your new home! (she holds out the 'painting')

(surprised by how ugly it is) Wow! (sarcastic) Oh,    she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh    so proudly? (looks around for a spot)

rachel addressed monica, not phoebe (ground truth)


Well, Emily's willing to work on the relationship.

She wants me to move to London.


See now-now you’re taking them away from their home.


'Cause, I'm a stupid, stupid man.

Hey, Ross, want some cider?

ross was addressed by joey and spoke (ground truth)


What? (to Sophie) Sophie, does she have ten minutes?

Hey, Ross!!! I told you I don’t!


Uh-huh, let's go. (they move in to kiss) Oh, wait I have gum. Okay. (they kiss rather passionately) Good, very good, firm but tender. I'd recommend you to a friend.

Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem?

Joey, you know, maybe your just not used to kissing men, maybe you just tensed up a little, maybe that's what you need to work on.

monica addressed joey, not phoebe (ground truth)


(announcer voice) All right! Let’s play Bamboozled!

Yeah, isn’t that a cool name?

All right. Uhh, okay. Our first contestant is Ross Geller. Why don’t you tell us a little something about you Ross?

Well uh, I-I’m a paleontologist. Umm, I-I live in New York. I have a son Ben. Uh, hi Ben! (Waves.) And uh…


No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is wearing)

Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed?

Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out.

Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket.


Or... just get a card that has a poem already in it.

But Mon, you have to get our money!


Is this about Mark?


Oh no-no-no, no more offers. You can’t offer anything to us!

Let us keep the apartment and…


Oh my God! Ross, are you in England? Was Emily surprised?

No, because she hasn’t come home yet. And she hasn’t been home all night! She’s obviously staying with that other guy, and I’m the stupid moron who spent the whole night outside her apartment!


Okay. Okay. Okay. Uh, what do I, what do I do with him?


You know what, you guys? It's their first time, why don't we just forget about the money, alright?

Hell no, we'll pay!

OK, Monica? I had another answer all ready.

monica was addressed by phoebe and spoke (ground truth)


Good! Me neither! So it’s not a problem. We’re just two friends who happen to be roommates.

Okay, but Ross, eventually you and I are gonna be dating.

Really?! We are?

Yeah! I’m gonna have a boyfriend, you’re gonna have a girlfriend…

But y’know what, if you think it’s gonna be okay we’ll just work out a system. Y’know, it’ll be like college, I’ll hang a hanger on the door and put a sign, "Come back later, I’m gettin’ lucky." (Laughs.)


I've never given her a cookie. Have you?


I would say, "Woman, please!"


Well, I brought the next best thing.


Because you’ve only known her for six weeks! Okay, I’ve got a carton of milk in my fridge I’ve had a longer relationship with!

Look guys, when I’m with her it’s-it’s-it’s like she brings this-this-this great side out of me. I mean I-I-I love her, y’know?


My friend Bethel rescued him from some lab.


And this from the cry-for-help department. Are you wearing makeup?

Yes, I am. As of today, I am officially Joey Tribbiani, actor slash model.

That's so funny, 'cause I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani, man slash woman.

You know those posters for the city free clinic?


Why? ‘Cause otherwise you’d go for it?

What you don’t think I’d go up to her?

Ross, it took you ten years to finally admit you liked me.

rachel addressed ross, not monica (ground truth)


Not like this!

Umm, Joey, I know.

What am I going to do? You know, and I keep, I keep trying to get rid of  these feelings, y’know? I stayed up all last night and made a list of everything I  don’t like about her. You want to hear it?

She made me switch to light Mayo. That’s it! That’s all I got! And,  you know what? It tastes the same and my pants fit better!


Hey Maureen! (They hug.) Gosh! Hey uh, Chandler? This is my cousin Maureen.

Mr. and Mrs. Bing! (Walks away.)


Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you.

Forget it. Not after your cousin who could belch the alphabet.

Come on. This guy's great. His name's Bob. He's Angela's... brother. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. Me, I go on three auditions a month and call myself an actor, but Bob is...

(looking out window) Oh, god help us.


(To Chandler) How could you tell her?!


Yeah, I think that fifth shower actually got the interview off me.


What did I marry into?

Would you guys want to come down tomorrow and watch me tape the show?


See Chandler? I’m getting a lot of use out of them already! They’re very practical. See, you can wear them with dresses, with skirts, with pants…

You can wear them with shorts on a street corner and earn the money to pay for them. (Goes and gets some coffee at the counter.)


Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We can’t do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! There’s just too much to do! It’s impossible! We can’t do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it!

(grabs and shakes Rachel) Just calm down woman!

Phoebe, I already, I already did.

Oh okay. All right, then I need to calm down a little.

Okay. Okay. (They sit down.) I think we can do this if we just get organized. All right? We have two days to plan this party. We just need to make fast decisions! Okay? All right, where are we gonna have it?

Uh, here. What time?

Finger sandwiches and tea.


Look, it's one thing not to cast me, but to lie to me?

I'm not lying to you, I watched it!


It’s coming from the living room.


Well y’know I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "What’s up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"

Umm uh, I’ll make some coffee and we can uh, chat.

I’d love that. I would loooove… (Carol goes to make the coffee and she sits down.) So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little...


Ross I—We tried all the spicy food. It’s not working.

Okay here, have one of these peppers. Oh ha… Oh God! So…so hot! (Rubs his eyes.) Oh my—(Laughs.) By the way, you don’t want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye.

I am feeling nothing. Speaking of hot, watching you do that really makes me want to have sex with you.

Oh come on Ross, why are we wasting our time with this other stuff?! We know what’s gonna work! It’s doctor recommended!

I’m sorry, but we have to have some boundaries! My God, I’m dying.

Oh come on Ross, we’ve done it before we’ll do it again, it’ll be a nice way to bookend the pregnancy.

This is insane, I’m not gonna make love to you just so that you’ll go into labor.


You said it was okay!

You said she was bald!!

Phoebe, we can’t, we just can’t just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!

Okay, first of all, breathe. Second of all, I don’t get it. Aren’t you the one that decided that you didn’t want to be with Ross?


Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?

(as Ursula) If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?

(Thinking carefully) no. No, I, I couldn't do that.


(To Phoebe) Is that Joey?! (She nods yes) Let me talk to him!

joey was addressed by chandler and spoke (ground truth)


(to Phoebe) So what’s Phoebe like?

I’m kind, caring, and sweet. What’s Monica like?

Ah no, the other Phoebe, the one you went to go see.


Pheebs, how’s it going?

(rapidly) I’m doing okay. I think it’s going well. Do you think they’re having fun? Am I talking to fast?

Nope, sound like me. Pheebs, it’s going great. Look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler.

monica addressed chandler, not phoebe (ground truth)


Are you trying to do a British accent?


(to Paulo) Ok, you're gonna have to not touch my ass.


Oh! Phoebe, all babies are beautiful!

Okay, oh, and Emma needs a cowgirl outfit for the competition.

Where am I gonna get a cowgirl outfit on Thanksgiving?

Well, I was thinking...

Oh, take the clothes of Joey's Cabbage Patch Kid.

phoebe did not speak next (ground truth)


You gonna tell her?


Joey what-what were you thinking?!

Well, I was thinking that it’d probably be okay because Ross hasn’t gone out with Rachel in five years!


You’re kidding! And he plays rugby?! That’s so funny. (Realises) Ohh! I see how you did that. All right.


Yes, and I know that you’d say no if he asked you, but I’m sorry; how great would you look walking down the aisle in this Donna Carin. (shows her the picture.)

(gasps) Oh, you so would! Oh, you should get that anyway. (They both look at her.) Like for clubbing.

It is so weird, I know what I said, but uh, this morning, I was lying in bed I was, I was imagining what it would be like to say yes. (Rachel slams the magazine shut in amazement.) I know it’s a little sudden, and it’s a little rushed, and it’s totally not like me to do something like this, but that doesn’t mean I can’t. Right? I mean I’m-I’m crazy about Pete, and I know that we want the same things, and when I thought about saying yes, it made me really happy.

monica addressed rachel, not phoebe (ground truth)


Yeah, just some 9-year-old Filipino kids who worked their fingers bloody for 12 cents an hour. (Phoebe stares at him wide-eyed. Chandler sees her reaction.) That didn't happen, I made that up!


) Yah, because Phoebe knew the mugger!

phoebe was addressed by ross and spoke (ground truth)


Ohh, hey! Why don’t you book a date for both of you at one of those romantic spas?


Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?

Wow. Joey, (sarcastically) how do you do it?

I can’t tell you that, no.

monica did not speak next (ground truth)


I can’t tell you that, no.


Yes, it does bother me! And I think it would bother a lot of people. Rachel, when you were going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women?

Uhh, no, no, it bothered me when he slept with other women.

chandler did not speak next (ground truth)


Sophisticated like a hooker?

I’m checking out the restaurant with Pete.

Ohh, Monica, I am so excited for you.

phoebe addressed monica, not rachel (ground truth)


Yeah, I think she wants the old one back.


Mmm, looking good. Ok, cider's mulling, turkey's turking, yams are yamming. (notices Ross is depressed) What?

I don't know. It's just not the same without Mom in the kitchen.

All right, that's it. You know what? Just get out of my way and stop moping.


I’d say, come again. No-no, wait I-I-I know this one, I know this one, uh…

Okay, you just go on and make your little jokey-jokes, but if you do not know what you are doing out at sea you will die at sea. Am I getting through to you sailor?! (She punctuates each word by slapping him on the forehead.)

Don’t just say yes! This isn’t a game, Joey you can really get hurt out here. Okay, so do you want to pay attention or do you want to die?!

I want to make a ship to shore call to Chandler.


Joey, what are you doing?

Just what needs to be done! Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this woman…


You know what, you guys? It's their first time, why don't we just forget about the money, alright?


Yeah, Monica's settin' me up.

But uh, uh, what about uh, Ross and uh. . .?


I’m so we weren’t in the car! Did he ever let up?


I did it anyway.


What are you guys gonna do?


All right. Uhh, international.

Oh that's mine too! (Grabs it and Ross looks at him.) I'm Italian!


I just wish there was something we could do. (Bends down and talks to him) Hello. Hello, Coma Guy. GET UP, YOU GIRL SCOUT! UP! UP! UP!

Phoebe, what are you doing?

Maybe nobody's tried this.

I wish we at least knew his name... Look at that face. I mean, even sleeping, he looks smart. I bet he's a lawyer.

Yeah, but did you see the dents in his knuckles? That means he's artistic.

Okay, he's a lawyer, who teaches sculpting on the side. And- he can dance!


No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; that’s not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why don’t we, why don’t we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.

Ohh, I lost my mom to suicide.

Okay no way, you cannot use that to get the cute guy and the last blueberry muffin.

Did I use that already today? I’m sorry.


Oh, did you beat him at a board game? He turns into such a baby when he starts to lose.


Well, I was thinking that it’d probably be okay because Ross hasn’t gone out with Rachel in five years!

Joey, I’m not worried about her! I’m worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this (makes the quote-marks sign) actor taking them?


Too many jokes... must mock Joey!


That's Great. You know we don't need to talk about this now. Really, I mean this is, is so way, way, way, in the future, I'm talkin' hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet.

Come on, Chandler, I want this part soo much. (Chandler ignores him) Just one kiss, I won't tell anyone.

chandler was addressed by joey and spoke (ground truth)


This is ridiculous, he’s not gonna hold his breath… (Ross cuts him off by taking a deep breath and holding it.)

It’s possible, they have really sharp edges.


Do you want me to be afraid of you?

Of course not. I mean gosh, Chandler what you did, it's, it's a wonderful thing and I really appreciate it. I know I have this weird thing where I want everything to be in the perfect place, but I'd never expect you to worry about that.

chandler was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


(grabbing the picture) Give me that!


God, it’s great to catch up! I can’t believe how long it’s been!

(on phone) Oh that’s great! Good for you.

Okay! So yeah, maybe we can get together umm… (Joey mimes throwing something in the air, catching it, rolling it out, putting it in an oven and cutting it.) Can you hold for one second please? (To Joey) What?!


OH MY GOD!!!

Phoebe!! Phoebe!! It's okay!! It's okay!!

NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!

rachel did not speak next (ground truth)


Chandler, we still haven’t gotten an RSVP from your dad.

Oh! Right. Umm, maybe that’s because I didn’t send him an invitation.

Chandler! He’s your father; he should be at the wedding.


(to Monica) I mean is that woman capable of talking about anything else but sex?

Yeah, sure. Well y'know, earlier she was talking about geography.

Joey, she was listing the countries she’s done it in.

monica addressed joey, not rachel (ground truth)


No way! It’s mine!!

All that stuff you just said? I want that!

But Joey you don’t have $20,000!

joey was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


Joseph Francis Tribbiani are you home yet?!!

Umm, I think he’s still out. What’s wrong?

Well, I’ll tell you Rachel Karen Green, I had plans with Joey tonight and he left me this note. (Hands it to Rachel.)

(reading the note) "Pheebs, can’t make it, got a date. Talk to you later. Big Daddy." (Laughs) Big Daddy?


Okay, um, I...(Phoebe walks into her room.) All right Phoebe look, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. OK? I handled the situation horribly and I should not have lied to you.

phoebe was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


Ross, that is gorgeous!

ross was addressed by monica and spoke (ground truth)


They know you know.

Ugh, I knew it! Oh I cannot believe those two!

God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!

I couldn't even if I wanted too.

He's not backing down. He went to get lotion.

(entering the hall) Oh man! Aren't you guys done yet?!


Hey, Joe, I gotta ask. The girl from the Xerox place buck naked (holds up one hand), or, or a big tub of jam. (holds up the other hand)

Put your hands together.

Joey, take your time with that. That's my last batch.

monica addressed joey, not chandler (ground truth)


Well uh, I-I’m a paleontologist. Umm, I-I live in New York. I have a son Ben. Uh, hi Ben! (Waves.) And uh…

I said a little bit Ross. Now, how about you Chandler?

Well Joey, I’m a headhunter. I hook up out of work Soviet scientists with rogue third-world nations. Hi Rasputin! (Waves.)


Oh. Well then way to go you big movie star!


Monica! I couldn’t find him for two hours! He was having sex with Amy Welch!

Come on, that was back in high school! How could that still bother you?

I mean why, of all people would you want to go out with Chip?!

Look, you and I went to different high schools...

Okay, that doesn’t help me, because we went to the same high school.

You went to one where you were popular, and you got to ride off Chip’s motorcycle, and wear his letterman jacket. I went to one where I wore a band uniform they had to have specially made.

It was a project for one of the Home Ec classes.

(stunned) Oh my God, they told us that was for the mascot!


Oh no, no, I’ll be there too.

Okay so, we’ll just come up with some kind of signal if it’s going well you can take off.

No Phoebe! I just need you there for support. I haven’t told him I’m pregnant yet.

Oh. Why not?

‘Cause I know he’s gonna flip out and I hate it when he’s angry.


I need something sweet.


was a human lady. This is the spirit of my Mom Lily, the one who killed herself.

Are you sure she’s in the cat, or have you been taking your grandma’s glycoma medicine again?


Hi Amanda! Actually now... it’s...   is not a good time. Dinner tomorrow night? (Phoebe mouths 'no') Ok, Phoebe   and I will see you then!

Why, why, why didn’t you just say no!

Well, I said 'no' to her coming   over now! I couldn’t say 'no' twice! I get this uncontrollable need to   please people!

(leaving) Fine, fine! You would not hold up well   under torture!

And you would?


Do you think I'm someone else?

Ok, I may not have treated your friends well in the past, but I have grown up a lot, really. Honest, Rach?

Well, believe it or not, it's true. When Joey and I were together, he was wonderful. He was thoughtful and mature. And for the one week that we went out, he didn't sleep with anybody else!

Ok, thank you. And I promise you I will not forget this one. (he starts writing on his hand) Mandy.


Oh please, you just want more blue pins.

Well this is just sad!


Why? The only person my playing is bothering is you!

Oh yeah? Ok, let's settle this, come on!

(while Monica drags her in the restaurant) Get your garlic-peelers off me!

(to the restuarant customers) Excuse me, excuse me, hi, I'm Monica Geller..I'm the head chef here.. (pauses as if waiting for something).. Ok, I was actually expecting a little applause there, but whatever! Ok, quick question by a show of hands, how many of you were bothered by this woman's singing outside? (a few people raise their hands)


Oh, no, no, no, it’s-it’s not the lecture ah, I mind, umm....

Oh, please tell me it’s not because I’m going with Mark.

Oh my God!!! Ross!!

Well, I’m sorry, but ah, look if you’re not working with him anymore, why do you have to still do stuff with him?

Because, he’s my friend.

Okay, but do you really need another friend? I mean...


Hi, I’m Chandler. Your live-in boy

Chandler, please, come on. Look at him. (Pointing to a picture of Ralph on a magazine,.)

Oh, I am no women, but that is one tasty dish. (Phoebe walks in.)


Hey, maybe I can fix that, you know. Try to turn it into something else.    (he opens the box)


Okay, Monica picks ten, I call nine! Anyone else?

Ok, how about this We got wind up toys for Emma for her birthday.    We can make them race, and whoever comes in last, stays!


Eh, you got a spray-on tan?


Wh, Ross what do you want from me? You want me, you want me to quit my job so you can feel like you have a girlfriend?

No, but it’d be nice if you realised, it’s just a job!

Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life I’m doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life I’m doing something that I’m actually good at. I mean. if you don’t get that...

No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And I’m happy for ya, but I’m tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I don’t know what to do anymore.

Well neither do I!


You’re actually going through with this?

Hey, look, this name has been holding me back my entire life. Okay, it’s probably why kids picked on me in school, and why I never do well with women… So, as of 4 o’clock tomorrow, I’m either gonna be Mark Johnson or John Markson.


A couple of days.

Y’know, I knew something like this was going to happen. (He starts to take off his pants, revealing that he is still wearing his sweat pants.)

What are you doing?! Chandler! You can’t just go back a phase!

Yes you can. You’re thinking about time, you can’t go back in time.


Hey Ross, I'm aware of what I owe.

Ok, well then get some sense. I mean it took you what, 10 years to get that job, who knows how long it's gonna be till you get another.

Look, I don't wanna hear this right now.

Huh, I'm just saying...

Well don't just say.

Ya know, maybe, maybe I should just go.


He probably wants you back because you're right for the job.

Maybe. I-I don't know—Oh God, how could I be so stupid?!

Oh Rachel look, don't say that, I think you just need a hug from Joey. Come on. Come on. (She hugs him and Joey looks out the window.) She's back! Hot girl's back!

joey addressed rachel, not monica (ground truth)


Ross let me ask you a question. All jokes aside, where is this relationship going?

Wait a minute, does-does everyone feel this way?


: What's your news?


I’ve got a science question.

If the Homo Sapiens, were in fact ‘Homo-sapien’, is that why there extinct?

Joey, Homo Sapiens are people.

Hey-hey, I’m not judging.


What a bad idea!

Ohhhh, I cannot look at it! (She doesn't move.)


Why? ‘Cause otherwise you’d go for it?

What you don’t think I’d go up to her?

Ross, it took you ten years to finally admit you liked me.

ross was addressed by rachel and spoke (ground truth)


I think when someone steals your credit card, they've kind of already thrown caution to the wind.


We were playing a game.


Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?

I'll help you. Yeah, I'll make up a schedule and make sure you stick to it. And plus, it'll give me something to do.


(standing up) Ahh... Chandler's on the couch!!

I see him, you guys are just the worst hiders ever.


Wha-What did he say that was so funny?

I have absolutely no idea.

(to Monica and Phoebe) Oh my God, you guys, what am I doing? What am I doing? This is so un-me!

rachel addressed monica, not ross (ground truth)


He's planning your birthday party.

Oh my God! I love him!

(as Phoebe enters) You'd better act surprised.

phoebe was addressed by joey and spoke (ground truth)


Well what is wrong with me? Am I .. am I incomptent?   Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you!

Honey, you're taking this the wrong way. We think   you're going to be a wonderful parent. It's just.. you're more the fun parent.


Oh, so you’re already doing your part for the kids.

I’m sorry, it’s just one of my last nights together before she leaves for camp—to be a counselor!


Wait, Joey! Joey! That doesn’t mean that-that you're in love with me!

That kinda sounds like your dream dude.


Yes. Yes I do.

All right Ross you’re in the lead, would you like to take another question or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?

The wheel has not been my friend tonight Joey. Uh, I’ll take another question.


, and you didn't even kiss her.


Well, apparently not, and I can’t just stand by and watch two people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness!

Well, why don’t you tell her to stop being silly! (Monica mocks him and he joins in.)

chandler addressed monica, not ross (ground truth)


are in our apartment all the time! Okay? This is, this is just a drop in the bucket mister!


Oh umm, my big scene is coming up. Big scene coming up.

If you said, "Big lima bean, bubbling up." Would she understand the difference?


(She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro?

What the hell are doing?!!


Phoebe, he's a friend of my parents. He's like 20 years older than me.

OK, so what, you're just never gonna see him again?

Not never. I mean, I'm gonna see him tomorrow at my eye appointment.


Or... just get a card that has a poem already in it.

But Mon, you have to get our money!

Oh, Phoebe, she couldn't stop crying! With those thick glasses, her tears looked giant.

I know, it's tough. You know what the first thing I did after my mother's funeral was?

Pay the caterer! Look, I've had a lot of jobs, okay, and there are some people who just always try to get out of paying. It's either, you know, "that massage wasn't long enough, or, "I don't recognize any of those songs," or, you know, "these sombreros aren't big enough. Bad little white girl!"


Hey, hey, look. Look Ross, Ben drew a picture of you! (Shows him Ben's picture.) Huh? You're-you're a cowboy!

Oh, be-because of the leather pants.

See? Ben doesn't think you're a loser, he thinks you're a cowboy! Now that's something.


Don’t take this personally okay? It’s just that I just can’t have sex with a sick person.

I’m with you Chandler! I mean I can’t have sex with a sick person either, that’s disgusting! But I’m not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.

That’s the thing, see I would like to stay in the pribe of mwha-ah-libe.


Ross, I can’t believe you’d do that!

Okay, okay, I’ll tell ‘em it wasn’t Chandler who got high. Now who should I say it was?

You! It’s not like it’s a big deal! You-you don’t still do it or anything!

Alright, alright, now-now who should I say tricked me into doing it?

Dad, please don’t pick your teeth out here! Alright, and if you’re gonna put your feet up, why don’t you sit on the-


Ooh! So now why can't we tell Chandler?

I know. Can you believe it? One year ago today I was just your annoying friend Chandler.


(entering) Hey guys! I was at the library all morning and I already finished my five pages for today!

Great! Now, we can go to the Ranger game! (Pause) Last night!

No dude, Ross tore up the tickets!

I guess when you don't have so many distractions, it's easier for you to focus. Huh?

Yeah, well, that's fine, but the important thing is that I finished it. And uh, I think it's really good, but y'know it'd really help me is if I could hear it. So would you guys read it for me?


I’m checking out the restaurant with Pete.


I don't know! You'll tell us on Monday!

Joey! You're in charge, ok? You make sure nobody leaves! (leaves)

ross addressed joey, not chandler (ground truth)


Rach, come on, if you think about it, it’s actually kinda funny. (He laughs, and he laughs alone.) Okay, maybe it’s best not to think about it.

is inexcusable. I am shocked to my very core!

Phoebe, I told her you already knew.

Another lie. You have a sickness!


Hello to the rest.

monica did not speak next (ground truth)


Well, this is the last box of your clothes. I’m just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"

Funny, because I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler.


No! Not at all!

Good! Me neither! So it’s not a problem. We’re just two friends who happen to be roommates.

Okay, but Ross, eventually you and I are gonna be dating.

Really?! We are?

Yeah! I’m gonna have a boyfriend, you’re gonna have a girlfriend…


What's it sound like? It's a guy with my identical hands! It was incredible! Chandler, the dealer's hands were exactly like me! It-it was like looking at my hands in a mirror!

Are you sure you weren't (pause) looking at your hands in a mirror?

Don’t you see what this means?! I can forget about that stupid movie. I'm gonna be a millionaire!

Look, I don't have it all worked out yet, but it's gotta mean big money! Come on! Identical hands!

Again I must go back to, how?


Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebe’s. Why were you even watching it?

I thought…maybe…you got me porn for Valentine’s Day.

Chandler, if you thought I was going to get you porn for Valentine’s Day… (pulls a video out of a basket) you were right! Apparently, it’s about a young girl who moves to the big city, you know, in search of stardom, but ends up having sex with a lot of guys! Yeah, it got four starts! (looks closer) Oh, wait a minute. Those aren’t stars. Anyway, you want to take a look?

Well, I’m not really in a sexy mood right now.

How long it took to go back in the water?

Chandler, we can’t let this tape wreck Valentine’s Day!

Oh, beautiful? Really? Beautiful? You think this is beautiful? (picks up the remote and presses a button, and he immediately makes a face that just looks like he’s going to throw up!)

Oh! Oh, my God! No wonder my mother hates me!

chandler did not speak next (ground truth)


Oh. Well then way to go you big movie star!

I know! All right, I’ll see you guys over there! I’m off to fight the Nazis.

Oh, wait Joey! We fought the Nazis in World War II, not World War I.

rachel addressed joey, not monica (ground truth)