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I think if people are like, I want to accomplish this goal, the very next question is why? And then go, why, why, why, why, why? If your why is so strong, how it's going to be done, it doesn't matter. You'll figure out. You've got a book out called Level Up. Rob Dial from the Mindset Mentor podcast. Not everything that...
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Hey everyone, I've got some huge news to share with you. In the last 90 days, 79 .4 % of our audience came from viewers and listeners that are not subscribed to this channel. There's research that shows that if you want to create a habit, make it easy to access. By hitting the subscribe button, you're creating a habit ...
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This would also mean the absolute world to me and help us make better, bigger, brighter content for you and the world. Subscribe right now. The number one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. The one, the only Jay Shetty. Why is it that we all want something? We have goals. We have things that we believ...
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I think the first thing is that we hold ourselves back from is we have a lot of fears. And fears, when you really start to dive into them, like you mentioned in the beginning of this, like I started talking with you about like the East and you started, I remember you told me in 2017, like you should read the Bhagavad G...
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And I was like, it's just me speaking for almost every single one of them. And I was like, what do I teach? Like, what do, what do people want from me? And I was like, it's almost all like tips and tricks to understand yourself to take action. Because everybody who's listening to a podcast has the awareness of, I want ...
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And I had a conversation with one of my friends who went and lived in the tribe, with a tribe, a native Brazilian tribe in the middle of Brazil. And so he had to fly into a town. He had to hop on a boat and go for two days on a boat in the middle of nowhere. And he started talking to me about these things that he calle...
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Intellectual fear is like what we deal with all day long, which is, you know, the fear of rejection, the fear of failure, the fear of not being accepted, the fear of success. We have all these fears and all of these fears are made up in our minds. And so I was listening to, I'm pretty sure it was Sadhguru I was listeni...
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And one thing that he said that like really hit me more than anything else is, okay, I've identified my fears. And the next thing is, well, how do I overcome these fears? And if it's an intellectual fear, the fears that exist in our minds is you can't overcome something that doesn't exist. And so we create, we basicall...
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And instead of actually taking the action that we need to and focusing on what it is that we want, we take all of our focus and put it towards trying to overcome this fear. When in reality, the fear doesn't even exist in the first place. And so I think the biggest thing for most people is like the fear is keeping you f...
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Like I love the story and I put in the book of Jim Carrey when he decided to be in Man on the Moon. And the Man on the Moon was a movie where he ended up playing Andy Kaufman. And there was a whole documentary that was done on this and they curbed it for like 20 years because it was so off the rails of how crazy he wen...
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And the crazy part about Andy Kaufman is he also played other characters. So it was Jim Carrey playing Andy Kaufman who played like Tony Clifton and other characters. But the thing that happened with him was that he would never break character. So he was a method actor. So for four months, he played as this real life p...
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And even to the point where his driver that would pick him up in Hollywood and drive him to his house said that whoever he was playing at the time that they stopped recording, whether it was Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, he would play that person the entire day when he was driving him home that night. And he'd pick him u...
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And so what happens is they stopped recording four months later and he's like, I don't know who I am. And he lost who he was. And he's like, I don't know my beliefs. I don't know what makes me happy, what makes me sad, what pisses me off anymore. He's like, I've kind of just lost who Jim Carrey is. And that's kind of l...
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And he realized that Jim Carrey is just basically a character that he's playing all the time that is completely somebody else. And he could just wake up another morning and act like he's somebody else. And so I think that two of the things that really keep us from focusing on stuff is we get really afraid and fearful o...
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I want to go down both of those routes because I find them both fascinating for different reasons. And I want to go down that more spiritual, ethereal journey as well. Let's do it. But before we do that, I want to make sure that, so if we talk about the fears that people are experiencing, as you said, a lot of the time...
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Like when someone says like, oh, I'm really scared about what if I get rejected from the job or I'm really scared that my partner is going to leave me or I'm really scared that I don't feel good enough or smart enough to make it in whatever field it is. Those feel extremely real. Yeah. How do you process a feeling that...
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And I think it's, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it's actually in the Bhagavad Gita. It gives an example of a lion attacking you or a tiger attacking you at night. And, you know, one of the examples I give in the book is similar to that where it's like, if you think about it, if you, we've all had thi...
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And you wake up in the middle of the night and your body didn't move at all. But you're sweating. You're out of breath. Your heart rate is intensely going. And the amazing thing about being a human, you know, they usually say, in any cases, what your biggest strength is also can be your biggest fault. The thing about h...
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We have food, water, shelter, clothing, everything. But if I'm like, as a lot of people do, like if I'm starting a business, right, I can sit here and I can think, well, I really want to start this business. But then I start playing out all of the things that could go wrong, which is what we tend to do. Not what goes r...
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And so what happens is we tend to, as humans, as a protection mechanism, we tend to project ourselves into a future that is fearful, that is scary. And that fearful, scary feeling usually keeps us in the exact same place. And so what I always say is like, if I'm going to imagine the worst that could happen, why don't I...
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Well, then I might as well close my eyes and say like, what's the best that could happen? And what would it feel like to start this business and to be able to crack a million dollars in a business? And how proud of myself would I be to break a million dollars in sales and to be able to build this and travel with my fam...
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And so if we notice it's an intellectual fear, the first piece that I always say is there's three pieces. There's the awareness of it. Okay, I'm aware that I'm in a state of fear. I need a practice to get myself out of that. Okay, if I notice myself in a state of fear, what's my practice to get myself out of it? Well, ...
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And then the last piece is repetition. So it's awareness, it's practice, it's repetition. If I do it over and over and over again, eventually I start to rewire myself. So like one of the things that I found in myself years ago that I didn't like was that I judge people. And I'm like, man, I love people. I try to be of ...
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I become aware of what I want to change. And the first time I really did it, I was at a grocery store and this guy had this like Bluetooth, you know, like the long Bluetooth. It was like as if he was, you know, making cold calls at an office. But he was at the grocery store. And immediately the first thought in my head...
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I paused myself in the moment. I found myself in a pattern that I don't want to be in anymore. What are three things that I like about this guy? And I said it. And then I went on about my day. And I started doing this over and over and over and over again. And one thing that I noticed is that my first thought started c...
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Once you're aware of the things that you're trying, the pattern you're trying to change, what's the practice that you're going to take yourself down? And then noticing that you're just going to need to do it over and over and over again. But one of the biggest keys is to give yourself grace as you're doing it. Because ...
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I think so often we get scared even of having the thought of what could be possible because we're scared that it can't be possible. And we just find another thing to be fearful of. And I love this idea of what you're saying around transforming your thoughts. Because I've definitely, the more and more I've studied books...
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And one of my biggest questions to most people I meet now is, what is your most repeated thought? And most people don't know the answer because they're not aware, in your words. And a lot of people who do know will say it's something like, I'm not good enough. I don't like the way I look. I am ugly. Whatever else it ma...
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And I've started to recognize that most of the thoughts we have are not that different. They're the same thought that comes in a different voice, a different tone, a different vocabulary, a different language, but it's the same repetition. And so I've started to really think about what's my most repeated thought and ho...
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And it's like, don't identify with your thoughts. You know, like one of the things that, I don't remember where I heard it before, but the way I like to think about it, and I've heard you say before, even like a lot of people say like, oh, I struggle with meditating. And I've heard you say before, where it's not about ...
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And so thoughts usually come up and we become aware of those. Like one of the things that I've been doing a lot recently is like trying to be in as much silence as possible. Like I'm just trying to be as much silence as I possibly can. Cause I feel like that's where a lot of my awareness is and a lot of my answers come...
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And sitting on the edge of the mountain is like meditating or just sitting in silence and just, you know, looking at your thoughts. And you can watch the cars go by, the thoughts that go by and not have to be attached to them. You don't find yourself getting sucked into the red car that just went by. You just watch the...
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Is this thought helping me in trying to get to where I want to be in life? Or is this thought holding me back from trying to get to where I want to be in life? And if it's helping me, then I want to strengthen it. If it's not helping me, well then, hey, as that guy on the podcast said, I can't control my first thought,...
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But even if you can practice distance through meditation or mindfulness, the real win is being able to look at a thought and say, is it good for me? Or is it not helpful? Like you just said, like I think that is the wisdom of it, that can I evaluate everything that's repetitive in my mind and ask myself, is this useful...
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And then you go, oh, wait a minute, even though it's interesting, and even though I could get lost in it, I don't want to waste time. And therefore, I'll move in the other direction. You talk about procrastination in this book. And that again, going back to your earlier title, is a block against the psychology of actio...
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There's someone listening right now who wants to start an Instagram page, they put it off for six months. There's someone listening who's like, oh, I missed out on the clubhouse thing, and then I missed out on the TikTok thing, and now I'm missing out on whatever the next thing is. And we procrastinate, hoping that one...
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I've always, I always like to be like very extreme in examples because if we can go extreme, then it makes a lot of sense. But I always tell people, like, and I always say it like, hey, I've given this one. I used to give a lot of speeches. I would be in front of people and say, hey, what's the chance of you making a m...
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What's the percentage chance of you making a million dollars this year legally? And if you don't, everyone that you love dies. And everyone's like 100%, 100%, 1 ,000, 1 ,000%. I said, what changed? The goal didn't change. The timeframe didn't change. Why you're doing it changed. Would you wake up in the morning if ever...
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And so it doesn't need to be like a fear of losing everybody, but what's really behind that is like, why? Like why they're doing it. Like if I have a reflection of anyone who doesn't know Jay, like you're one of the hardest working people I've ever met, but you have a really strong why, right? And that's like one of th...
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And that's one of the most beautiful things about you is like, you are wanting to change the world and you have a really strong why to it. And I think that if most people could figure out like, oh yeah, well, I want to do this thing. Why do you want to do it? And my very first one -on -one coach used to say to me, he w...
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If you know why you want to do something, how it's going to be done, you'll figure out. It doesn't matter. Things are going to get in your way. There's going to be obstacles. There's always going to be obstacles. There's always going to be challenges. There's always going to be moments of like, I don't know if I can do...
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We're going to get, you know, read something and be motivated. And then something can happen to us and it's gone. It just disappears. What I want to be is I want to be driven. Like when you see a driven person, like you see it in their eyes, like, yeah, they're not stopping. And the difference between a motivated perso...
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And then go, why, why, why, why, why, and go deeper into it. An example I give in the book is I had a coaching client years ago, like eight, nine years ago. And he was like, Rob, I want to make $100 ,000 this year. I've never made it. And I was like, why? And I took him through what's called seven levels of why. Just k...
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Both of his young children lived in a bad part of town with his ex -wife. He wanted to regain custody because he was afraid that both of his children would be killed in a drive -by. And he was so terrified of it that that was his actual true why. And so it wasn't, the motivation, I didn't have to talk to him and say, h...
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And so I think that if we just ask ourselves, why do I truly want to accomplish this goal? It kind of reveals itself and it makes it a lot easier to take the action. Yeah, for sure. I mean, I, you know, and I appreciate all the kind words, but I can definitely say the only thing that's kept me going is my why. Because ...
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And when I look at it and someone asked me this, I was sitting with another creator end of last year and he was just like to me, Jay, why do you even do anything anymore? Like, what's the point? Like, it seems like you're good. Like, why do you need to do anything? And I was like, we've just got to the start of everyth...
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And now we can take them on the journey because people are listening, they're engaged, we have a community, we have a connection with people. But when I started out, we didn't have any of that. So I see it as we just got to the start of where I want to be because, and it was just interesting to me that so many people s...
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It was the same with me, my art teacher at, from age 11 to age 18, he was my art teacher at school. And every time I'd paint something or draw something or do a collage or a graphic design, and whatever I do, the first question he'd ask me is, why did you do it? And I'd be like, because my initial response was because ...
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And then he'd be like, why did you do it? And I'm like, because that's how I'm feeling right now. I'm trying to, and every year he would ask me, it would reveal more and more layers of my psyche in a similar way. And again, I've owed it to someone in my life who pushed me to ask the question, why? Same as you. And so I...
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And I think you're right. Like you said, we don't have a lot of primal fears. Like some people are listening right now will have fears of survival and that is driving them and they are working hard and they are pushing. And at the same time, we'll have people who are like driven, but they're like, I'm not driven enough...
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I think for me, it's like, my life was never terrible or, you know, like when I started the, yeah, when I started the podcast, The Mindset Mentor, like I was at a point in my life where I was making a whole bunch of money and I was 27 years old and I was making 250 grand a year and I was working from home and everythin...
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But I felt like I was slowly withering away and I could see what the future was going to be while I was there and I said, okay, if I do this for another five years and I'm 32 years old and I'm still doing this or I have my manager's job, is that going to fulfill me? And it actually gave me more anxiety to think about h...
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And I also, at the same time, was starting an Amazon business and trying to make money online and do that. And so I thought about it and I asked myself, okay, if I fast forward five years from today, do I want to be the person that's in sales management like I'm doing now and consulting? Do I want to be the guy that's ...
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And then immediately comes up is all kinds of fear because I don't know what I'm doing. Like back in the day, 2015, nobody made any money in podcasts. I didn't have any idea of how to grow a business, any of that type of stuff. But what was important to me was number one, when I fast forwarded into the future, the futu...
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It's still there. And I don't know if you ever get past it, but you just kind of get more used to it. But the fear of being in the exact same position, working the same job, maybe making a little bit more money doing this for every day until the day I die was terrifying for me. That was a fear. And I was like, well, th...
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There was a moment in 2015 where I started the podcast in August of 2015. November of 2015, I was feeling like a whole lot of fear. And I was like, I might have to go back and work for someone else again. And it was just, fear was so in my head. And I was like, I got to go back to making money. I got a new house. I got...
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My sister, I was at her house and she goes, hey, have you ever seen this box of dad's stuff? And I was like, no. And she brought it. My father was an alcoholic. He passed away when I was 15 from his alcoholism. And she brought out this box and it was like his glasses. It was a t -shirt of his. It was his watch. And the...
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And I was reading this, you know, 2015. So he would have wrote it to her in 1999. And the very last line was, I hope you live your life with courage, love, and laughter. And I read it and it was like the universe warped. And I was like, oh, he wrote this for me. Like there was a moment where I was like, he wrote this t...
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Live your life with courage, love, and laughter. And I was like, I got to commit. Like I, this has to be the thing. I've got to make a decision. And when you look at the root word of decision, it's decadaria, which means to cut off. I'm going to cut off all other options. You know, I'd heard like Will Smith say there's...
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And I was like, I don't know what to do. I was like, I'm going to get this tattooed in my arm. So I literally have, live your life with courage, love and laughter tattooed in my arm. My very first tattoo I ever got. But it was like, for me, people always think like, when you make a decision, the fear disappears. Like I...
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But my bigger fear is getting to the end of my life and having not done this, having not tried to help people, you know, like being in the room with my father after he passed away when I was 15 years old and realizing, because he was the first person I ever met that passed away, I'm going to be there one day. And I saw...
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I'm going to create what I want to create. And now I have all of the other fears that everyone else has, but my biggest fear is getting to the end of my life and not having tried or not having at least gone for it. Yeah, that's, I love hearing that. And you've reminded me of a great speech that Jim Carrey gave, funnily...
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And he said that when he was young, his dad got made redundant from his safe job. Jim Carrey said that in life, you are probably going to fail at something you don't love. So you might as well try something you do love. Like this idea that I'm choosing the safe option or I'm choosing something that my parents thought m...
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And so the uncertainty that you pursue actually is less fearful because you're on top of it. You're aware. And I think that's, that's one of the biggest habits that I think has changed my life is that I stopped believing and accepting that I would get to a place where I no longer had to use my brain. Right?
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Like I think we all believe subconsciously somewhere that there's a paycheck, there's a bank balance, there's a home, there's a fashion, there's a partner. That means from that point on, I don't have to think about anything. It's all good. Everything's perfect. Because it's all good. Right. And my, I'd say my best habi...
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And I'm okay that my life requires constant work ethic and effort and awareness and being astute and being conscious because that is what's actually being demanded by this world. A uncertain world forces you to be conscious. Yeah. But if you're unconscious in an uncertain world, that's leading to a really dangerous pla...
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But to your point, it's way harder work being unconscious. Oh yeah. Because the amount of unconscious issues that arise are numerous. I think there's like a lot of wisdom in what you said because a lot of people would rather just be like, well, let me get to this destination. Once I'm there, everything becomes better. ...
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The journey that I've had is, you know, I always wanted to make money because I thought money was going to give me what I needed. It would give me that safety and security that I never felt as a child. And then I got to a goal that I wanted to get to and I realized I feel exactly the same as I've always felt. I don't f...
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And what I realized was I thought that the achievement, the recognition from other people, the money in my bank account, the buying cool stuff would fill what I actually thought was and consciously now know is I thought that all of those things would fill a void that was inside of me. And what I realized is what I was ...
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And so the reason why I spend so much time in silence nowadays, I'll just go out of my porch and I'll just sit there for a couple hours is because I'm trying to fill the void that I have created through life and through patterns and through heartbreaks and through all of the things that happened in my childhood. And I'...
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And what I've realized is that none of the material things, anything externally will ever give me what I was ever searching for. Everything I've always searched for and the external was what I've been searching for for myself. And so I 100 % agree with you. I don't think there's any destination we ever get to. I think ...
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I think the beautiful thing part about it is I think that I was given this need for achievement to realize that it doesn't change anything because the path of wanting to achieve and doing it through business and doing it through growing and all that stuff has actually lit up inside of me a spiritual journey that wouldn...
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You reminded me of this story that's told about Benjamin Franklin. And Benjamin Franklin had 13 virtues. And these were all qualities that he aspired to develop in his life. simplicity, authenticity, patience, things like that. And when he was on his deathbed, they asked him which one he didn't accomplish. And he said ...
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And I love that because I think what you're saying is humility doesn't mean you're meek or weak. It means I'm able to accept there's always more to learn. I don't know everything. And it's okay. I'm going to give myself grace for it too. It isn't a feeling of I'm useless because I don't know. It's actually I'll become ...
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Walk us through how you fill that void almost practice -wise because I identify with that fully. And it's funny because we always talked about how our lives were kind of opposite. Because when I met you, I'd kind of gone down this deep spiritual path but I had no money. And you were in the other boat where you had sust...
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And let's talk about that too but I'm intrigued as to how does that couple of hours or whatever that time on your porch, like how do you do that for people? Because I think we like the sound of that but then we get distracted by the next thing. What I've come to find and I can speak within myself and just what I've see...
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My father was the way that he was and he became an alcoholic because he had things in his past that he hadn't worked through. And the thing that he hadn't worked through is when he was 12 years old, my father heard a gunshot. He walked into the room and his dad had just shot himself in the mouth with a shotgun. And so ...
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And so I always consciously knew that what was happening was that he had not healed his pain. And Gabor Mate says, don't ask why the trauma, ask why the pain. And when I first heard Gabor Mate, I was like, oh my God, someone's finally saying what I always thought with my father. And so, you know, we can look at him and...
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And so I didn't, you know, sometimes we could see someone and say, oh, they drink too much alcohol, they do too much drugs, they eat too much food. And we can say, oh yeah, that's their addiction. The problem in the hard thing in our society is that my addiction of workaholic is rewarded and people look up to it and th...
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And what I came to find is that my workaholism was just basically me trying to not feel my feelings and to not work through and process those things. You know, like scrolling on social media could be that way for somebody. It could be some people are addicted to working out. Some people are addicted to, you know, watch...
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And what I found is that the hardest thing for me was to stop and to just not have to, I was always trying to fill every single moment of my day, always try to be so busy. When I didn't have something to do, I'd find something to do in my business. Businesses, you can always work all day, every day.
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And so what I've tried to do and I've built in my business is a lot of systems and processes through, my VP of operations has really helped me with this a ton to be able to take a lot of stuff off my plate so that I have more time to just be. It's my personal belief that I think that God, the universe, life, whatever i...
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You should be doing something else. And then I just realized that what I was trying to do is achieve to fill a void. But I could sit here and there's been moments where I'll sit on my porch and I'll literally just start crying. And I'm like, sometimes it's gratitude. Oh my God, I can't believe I've been given this life...
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And I need to be okay with this releasing process. You know, there's a really interesting thing that people could look at. There's two videos that are really interesting on YouTube. One of them is called Polar Bear Trauma where they show a video of a polar there and they shoot it with a tranquilizer gun from a helicopt...
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And eventually after his seizures, what it's doing is it's releasing all of the cortisol, all of the adrenaline from its body so that there's no trauma that comes with it. And so then it goes after it's shaken for a while, takes a really deep breath and it just kind of calms down. Almost identical video of a impala tha...
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And we're taught in our lives at some point in time not to remove this and to work through these traumas and these feelings. I think children naturally do it through like temper tantrums. They move it. And sometimes as adults, we either need to have like an adult temper tantrum in safety where you just take a pillow an...
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And then sometimes it's also just like sitting there in silence and realizing that what is coming is going. It's like when you squeeze in orange, what's inside of it, orange juice because that's what's in it. Right? When you sit there and you put pressure on yourself or you give yourself space, what's coming out is act...
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And instead of running from it, I get curious. And I think if we could just get more curious, like I've been reading a whole lot of Krishnamurti recently, I love Krishnamurti. And one thing he says is don't know yourself because knowing is based in the past and past is based off of memories. Start learning yourself, wh...
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How can I be curious about this anxious feeling or these tears or whatever it is and just be in the space to just know yourself or get to know yourself a little bit better? Yeah, it's so great. I mean, talking about that, that goes to me back to what we were talking about at the start of it. You were saying how this id...
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And what we both talked about is we are so much of what our thoughts are. And therefore, if you change the thoughts completely, you're almost a completely different human. So then who are we? Right. Comes back to this know thyself versus learning of thyself. Like what has that spiritual journey taken you on to understa...
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And one of the things that I like to do is I like to think that I chose this life. And that immediately, takes me from being a victim in my life. Oh, what was me? My father was this way. He did this to me. My mom did this to me. And my teachers acted this way versus me going like, I think my soul chose this life becaus...
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I don't know, but I do know like right now I do have this life as Rob Dial. And as I get older, the thing I realize is that my body changes. I'm not as fast as I used to be. I'm a lot more sore than I used to be. Like my body's changing, but my soul is this thing that is just always there. And so the thing that I've co...
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And I want to try to connect back to what's internally inside of me. And the one thing that I find is that that never changes. Like that, there's like a truth that's behind that. And truth is the thing that never changes. If something changes or if something can be questioned, it's not true. But there's this feeling th...
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Like I listen to a lot of Ram Dass. And one of the things that he said, I was listening to him on the drive over here and I listen to his meditation every day, is the only work that you have to do is the connection to your own heart. And so I'm always constantly thinking, what's in the way of my own heart? What materia...
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And my relationship with my wife has been so much better because of it because I'm not blocking her from letting her in. She's experiencing me fully. She starts to be able to open up even more in different ways. I'd be able to experience her more fully. And so for me, it's just like connecting to the thing that's behin...
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But on this journey, I've just kind of realized that there's something behind it all. And I want to try to connect that something behind it all and see what it is. And so for me, it's like, I like to use myself as a guinea pig. Everything I teach in the Mindset Mentor and the podcast is all stuff that I'm trying within...
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And what I realized is I realized that after 15, 19 years of personal development, it's like, you know, personal development is like this cup right here. And I feel like my cup and personal was overflowing. And then I found spiritual development and I realized, oh my God, it's a lot bigger cup. And it's not even close ...
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Yeah, for sure. Thank you for sharing that. I mean, you made me remember a C .S. Lewis statement that says, you don't have a soul, you are the soul and you have a body. Yeah. And I remember I used to have that written on a little post -it note and I used to look at it every day first thing in the morning because I was ...
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Usually we say something like, oh, I look tired or don't like that spot or God, I put on weight, God, whatever it is, right? Now all of a sudden we're already in the bodily concept of life, this bodily consciousness. And now you live your whole day thinking about the body. What does the body need? The body needs food, ...
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But then you're saying that at the same time you've got to nurture and nourish and connect with this deeper sense. How do you balance the two in a real world where you have responsibilities, you have bills, you have things to do that are connected to the body. But then at the same time we're like, but you're not this b...
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